


Days Are Gone

by leoprior



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Cheating, F/M, Face Punching, Fluff, Football Player Louis, Liam Payne & Harry Styles Friendship, Liam-centric, M/M, Pining Liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:19:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 46,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1656320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoprior/pseuds/leoprior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam's turbulent last year of high school has him dealing with friendships, school and falling for a very special boy. Liam-centric but all of the other boys play their individual part in this story (of course).<br/>Relationship tags include romantic as well as friendship!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

It’s one of the warmest days of summer in a while, so Liam is unusually heated up as he drops down next to Harry on the bench. They’re having football practice and decided to take a break, watching the other kids run around on the field.

                 

“It’s so hot today. I didn’t even have to start running to break out in sweat,” Liam complains and sighs. Harry hasn’t even looked at him yet but is focusing on the other players on the grass instead. Liam runs his arm over his forehead to dry his face. It doesn’t really change anything but it helps make his point. “Haz?”

 

Harry turns around. “What? Sorry, I was watching-“

 

“Niall. I know.” Liam grins at Harry, who only rolls his eyes and turns back around. His curls are moving slightly in the soft wind and Liam can’t help but smile. He has no particular reason to be happy; he’s simply enjoying being here with his friend, the sun shining in his face and working up a little bit of a sweat.

 

“What do you think he’s like?” Harry asks suddenly and looks at Liam again. “Niall, I mean.”

 

“What do you mean? He’s on our team. We go to school with him. You know what he’s like.”

 

Harry rolls his eyes. “I mean personally. We don’t really know him, do we?”

 

“Well, he doesn’t seem like the quiet kind,” Liam says and raises his eyebrows.

 

“But neither obnoxiously loud. Like Louis.”

 

Liam laughs. Louis was in fact obnoxiously loud. Whenever he would pull one of his pranks you could hear his laugh from a distance. Actually, you could hear him laugh all the time generally. Even now, running over the field and chasing after the ball, Louis lets out a few short giggles.

 

“Why don’t you just go strike up a conversation with him?” Liam finally says to Harry and slaps him on the shoulder. “We’re boys, we can talk to each other.”

 

Harry shrugs. “What am I gonna talk to him about? Hey, what’s your favorite food? Maybe I can cook it for you.”

 

“Wow,” Liam laughs. “You’re going all in.” Harry just shifts uncomfortably and sighs. The poor guy really seems to be invested. “Is this your way of telling me you have a crush on him?”

 

Harry does not turn around and keeps staring into space. “I can trust you, right?”

 

Liam puts his arm around Harry and pulls him a bit closer. They have been best mates for years and trusted it each other with pretty much anything. It’s a good sign that Harry feels comfortable enough to share this with Liam. “Obviously. And thank you. I promise I won’t make fun of you for crushing on _Niall Horan_.”

 

“Stop saying his name like that,” Harry complains. “I immediately regret my decision to share this with you.” He winds himself out of Liam’s embrace, trying not to laugh as Liam holds him tight. “Stop it, you’re strangling me.” He eventually gets out of Liam’s grip and stands up. Liam looks up at him, a hand over his eyes to shield them from sunlight.

 

“You have no right to make fun of me at any point. Unlike you, I don’t keep my feelings to myself but I share them with my best mate,” Harry says and it’s part joke, part seriousness. Liam knows that Harry is right. He doesn’t like talking about his feelings, mostly because he never knows what he’s feeling himself. Harry is still looking at him and Liam rolls his eyes.

 

“I won’t make fun of you. Niall seems like a good bloke. I like the idea that you fancy boys now,” Liam says eventually.

 

“Is that so? Well I’m into blonds, sorry Liam,” Harry laughs and reaches out his hand. “Come on, let’s change so we can get out of here.”

 

Liam looks at him for a second and then he says: “Let me help you with Niall.”

 

Harry is still reaching out for Liam, thinking about what he was just offered.

“What? Why would-…. Uh, fine.”

 

Liam grins and finally lets Harry pull him up. Without revealing more of his plan, Liam puts his arm around Harry and the two of them walk back towards the locker rooms.

 

Twenty minutes later Liam is freshly showered and changed, stuffing his uniform into his backpack. He’s a bit disappointed; he was secretly hoping he would catch Harry checking out the other boys, but nothing happened. But then again, Harry has probably been at least curious for a while now, so why should today’s training be any different? Liam shakes his head unconsciously at himself. Sometimes he was surprised how dense he could be.

 

“Oi!” he hears somebody say next to him as he’s being shoved to the side. Louis has walked in from the showers, squeezing himself in between Liam and somebody else. “What do you have in there? Stuffing it away so hastily…” Louis teases and gives him a devious grin.

 

“Shut up,” Liam says and couldn’t sound more annoyed if he tried. Louis was constantly teasing everyone on the team, thinking he’s something like the court jester of the school. Sometimes he was funny, but mostly he was not, Liam reckons.

 

“Jockstrap?” Louis continues, wiggling his eyebrows. This is one of the times where he is not funny. He is also wearing nothing but a towel around his hips, ready to change into his jeans, Liam notices.

 

“Must’ve grabbed yours, Tommo!” Liam leans back and sees Niall on the other side of the room. Apparently he’s heard the little conversation and gave the comeback Liam wishes he had thought of.  He instantly turns to Harry. They exchange looks for a second, then Harry breaks away and grabs his stuff.

 

Liam doesn’t hear Louis’ reply, as his focus has shifted to Niall. He quickly turns around, gets a glimpse of Louis’ remarkable butt (whoa, when did that happen?) and decides now was the time to approach Niall.

 

After having randomly seen (and noticed!) a nicely shaped butt, Liam’s brains are a little bit scrambled when he finally gets to Niall. “Niall…..er.”

 

He can feel Harry cringe behind him but he thinks maybe he can make awkwardness his thing.

 

“Weird,” Niall says and continues to change. Liam is standing there feeling like an idiot, apparently not making awkwardness his thing.

 

“It’s my birthday. This weekend. And I’m having a party.”

 

“I know,” Niall laughs. “I’m invited. Remember? You invited the whole team.” He pulls his shirt over his head and smiles at Liam.

 

Liam knows that but the line was simply supposed to open up the conversation. “Right. And you play the guitar. And I have music.” He pauses awkwardly and then adds: “At my party.”

 

At this point Liam feels very discouraged, as the words coming out of his mouth make no sense and it seems like he’s listing random facts to Niall. _Coherence, Payne!_

 

“So, I need your help,” he concludes, trying to tie the loose ends of his crappy advance together. “Cause you know how to set things up. And I need help. So can you help me?”

 

“I don’t think anyone can,” Louis shouts from somewhere and Liam rolls his eyes.

 

He’s a little relieved that he managed to make this excuse sound somewhat believable. Obviously he only wants Niall there because Harry is going to be there to help as well.  Liam is absolutely capable of turning on a stereo himself but apparently he’s such a good person that he embarrasses himself in front of the team to win his best mate a date.

 

“You got it,” Niall says and genuinely smiles at Liam. “I’ll be there early but you owe me some beers!”

 

Liam laughs. “Alright, thanks mate.”

 

He turns around waving goodbye and walks past Harry, who is anxiously waiting by the door.

 

“Niall’s super good with plugging things in!” he hears Louis yell after them, breaking out in laughter.

 

When they step outside Liam doesn’t say a word; but neither does Harry and that’s how he knows that he’s secretly glad.

 

“You’re welcome, Haz.”

 

* * *

 

For his birthday Liam has rented out a boathouse by the water. It’s not excessively big – it’s not a wedding or anything but his birthday after all – but it fits quite a bunch of his friends and allows for a dance floor and a buffet. And what else do you really need at a party? If it was up to Liam, he would be serving a bit of alcohol for his friends and eat his way through the party, but Harry and his family insisted that he throw a big party. So he does.

 

On Friday afternoon Liam, his parents, his sister Ruth and Harry are there to prepare everything. Liam’s mum has spent the last hour dedicated to the plates of snacks she’d prepared and setting up the bar; his dad is moving around benches somewhere outside.

 

“Looks good,” Harry comments as he comes inside, carrying a box. Liam is sitting on the bar with his phone in hand. He notices Ruth decorating the whole place with balloons and shouts at her.

 

“I’m not turning 12, you know?” She only rolls her eyes and continues her work.

 

“Nobody’s gonna think that. I saw your mum and dad bring in quite the amount of liquor. I have to say, I am surprised. What ever happened?” Harry says.

 

Liam is about to answer when Harry opens up the box he was carrying and they both find countless of stacked plastic cups inside. Even the tiny ones for shots.

 

“I… don’t know,” Liam laughs. He’s not the biggest drinker in the world but he knows his friends are. And his parents apparently know, too.

 

“You can thank me for that, you know?” Ruth says as she walks over and points at the box. “At my 19 birthday party everyone was allowed a total of one beer.”

 

“The perks of being the baby of the family”, Liam says and laughs. “Thanks for helping anyway.”

 

Ruth sighs and walks outside with her balloons.

 

“Speaking of help…” Harry begins and raises his eyebrows. Liam looks at him unfazed. “Really? You’re gonna make me say it?”

 

Liam shrugs, pretending he doesn’t know what Harry is talking about.

 

“Where’s Niall?” Harry asks and Liam has to force himself not to laugh at the hopeful glare in his eyes.

 

Niall hasn’t showed up yet and a bunch of speakers, cables and other electronic stuff are lying around in the boathouse.

 

“I don’t know. I was just about to call him but I didn’t wanna be annoying,” Liam finally says, holding up his phone. He’s really hoping that Niall shows up. Not for his sake but for Harry’s. Before Harry can throw a tantrum and unleash his desperation, Niall thankfully walks in.

 

“Hi!” He waves and puts on his big, goofy signature grin.

 

“Hey, glad you could make it.”

 

“Sorry I’m a bit late. Wasn’t my fault, really,” Niall says, pointing behind him. Liam and Harry don’t see anything and look at each other, wondering if Niall’s move was some sort of code. Then Louis walks in.

 

“Oi, how are my favorite lads?”

 

Liam can’t roll his eyes even closely enough as he wants to, so he jumps down from the bar and walks towards Niall and Louis instead. He didn’t want Niall’s help in the first place but he did it for Harry. Louis’ help is even less welcome. It’s not that he’s trying to antagonize Louis; he invited him to his party after all. And he doesn’t know enough about him to dislike him. But sometimes Louis just comes on too strong and too loudly.

 

“You’re here to help?” Liam asks, raising a brow. Louis has that smirk on his face that he seems to have 90% of the time and nods.

 

“At your service, Payno,” Louis responds and salutes. If the tables were turned, Louis would make a point and demand something stupid from Liam, probably something sexual. But Liam doesn’t and simply points outside.

 

“You can go help my dad with the benches outside.”

 

“It’s gonna be a perfect summer night. Can’t wait to drink some beers and sit under the sky when it’s dark later!” Niall says and gets a weird look from Louis. Quite the romantic, apparently. Louis scoffs and marches outside.

 

“You guys try and figure out the sound system, ok?” Liam says, looking at Harry and Niall. Harry doesn’t respond and seems paralyzed; Niall happily nods and walks away. Liam elbows Harry to make him move and sighs. This is going to be a rough party by the looks of it.

 

Once Harry manages to breathe properly, Liam dares to go outside and check on Louis. He has no doubt that his dad can keep Louis from making any trouble but he doesn’t want to be third-wheeling with Harry and Niall. So instead he goes to hang out with Louis, again sacrificing himself for true love. He should make a list of favors to call in at Harry and Niall’s wedding.

 

Keeping his mouth surprisingly shut, Louis helps Geoff to move benches and tables around and set up a bonfire. The sun is setting quickly and once it’s dark the guest will arrive. Liam has three minor panic attacks until his parents finally say goodbye and drive back home with Ruth. Niall and Harry are clearly getting on well, as it is taking them a good hour to set up the music, which is a suspiciously long time in Liam’s opinion.

 

It’s not quite dark yet and it’s still incredibly warm. Liam has walked up the little path to the road and is sitting on the curb, waiting for his friends. The whole preparation phase didn’t take as long as anticipated and nobody likes to come to a party early. He stares into the woods that surround him and contemplates his last day as an 18-year-old.

 

Suddenly Louis walks up from behind and sits down next to him. “Want a beer?” He offers one of the bottles he brought to Liam and smiles.

 

“Sure,” he says. Why not ruin his kidney before the party even started. Better than turning down Louis’ genuine offer. Who knows when the next one’s gonna be.

 

“It was fun helping you out. If you need someone tomorrow, Niall and me can help you clean up. I’m good with that. Hangover proof,” Louis says and smiles brightly. Okay, the next genuine offer _after_ that one.

 

“You don’t have to, it’s fine. Just enjoy the party. And thanks for today.”

 

“No problem. Always good to have an extra set of hands around.”

 

Without even looking, Liam knows that Louis is wiggling his eyebrows again. Damn him.

 

“So, Niall and Harry, huh?” Louis says and takes a big gulp out of his bottle.

 

“Yeah,” Liam takes a gulp as well. This goes down way too easy. “Who knew?”

 

“I did.”

 

“You did?” Liam looks at Louis confused and Louis flicks him on his forehead. “Ouch.”

 

“Of course. I’m into blokes, too. It’s like my fifth sense or something,” Louis casually remarks and Liam almost spits out his beer.

 

“You mean your sixth sense.” Glancing over Louis’ random coming out might be the best approach here.

 

“It’s not like I see dead people.”

 

Liam sighs. Hopeless.

 

“You didn’t know?” Louis asks, looking at Liam curiously. “How do you think I know what a jockstrap is?”

 

Liam shrugs and takes another sip. This whole conversation is not working in any of his favors.

 

“Wait. How do _you_ know what a jockstrap is?” Louis asks and starts to grin. Liam just shakes his head. He has to admit, Louis is very witty and funny but mostly just too quick for Liam to keep up. Louis’ the kind of guy that has catchphrases and always knows the right thing to say. Liam is the kind of guy that knows how to listen, crack a well thought-out joke here and there and answer the questions he’s asked.

 

“When’s your birthday?” Liam asks eventually. He feels bad that Louis has been striking up the conversations so far and doesn’t want to seem like a moody old man. “Just out of curiosity.”

 

“December 24th,” Louis answers. “You all wanted me for Christmas, so…” Liam looks confused, so Louis adds: “All I want for Christmas is … Louis.”

 

Liam laughs as soon as he recognizes the song reference. That was actually kind of cute. Wait. Cute? That’s not good.

 

“Come on, let’s go back inside. Your guests should be here soon. Time to break up the lovebirds, light up the lanterns and blast the music,” Louis says and they both get up.

 

* * *

 

 

The party ends up being a huge success. As soon as it’s dark, crowds of people find their way down to the boathouse. A lot of them are inside, dancing and drinking to incredibly loud music. The bigger part however is outside, sitting around the bonfire or just scattered around the premises. People are talking loudly, laughing, drinking and singing.

 

“Seems like it’s going really well, huh?” Harry says and slings his arm around Liam. He’s clearly drunk but Liam’s had a couple of beers too, so he doesn’t mind. They’re outside and Liam has just finished chatting to a few of his classmates. They’re both watching as the flames of the fire dance quickly.

 

“Yeah,” he says happily. “It actually is.”

 

Harry smiles at him and Liam smiles back. It really is a nice party and Liam’s having a lot of fun. It’s probably the alcohol that’s letting him forget his occasional social weirdness, but he’s had a great night so far. All of his friends are here, everyone’s in a good mood and there’s enough food, drinks and music to ensure some more fun hours.

 

“How’s it going with Niall?”

 

Harry smiles even brighter. “Pretty well, I think. We hit it right off and talked a lot. Thanks for having him come early by the way.”

 

“Anything for you my friend,” Liam says and chugs his beer. “Glad you’re chatting now. He’s nice.”

 

“Yeah, he is. I’m drunk but I can’t get so drunk that I make a move on him tonight, ok? Promise me that?”

 

Liam laughs and nods. “Don’t want you to screw up my hard work with a quick shag!”

 

Harry punches him in the shoulder and they both laugh. Then, Liam pulls Harry a little closer into his arms.

 

“I’m glad you told me, Haz.” He runs his hand through Harry’s curls. “I really am.”

 

“Stop being so bloody sentimental,” Harry says but he doesn’t pull back either. They stand like this for a while, just enjoying the fire, the starry sky and the warm summer night.

 

Eventually, Liam excuses himself to go use the restrooms and Harry drunkenly finds himself in a circle of his classmates. When he gets to the cabin, the door is locked. Impatiently he walks away to relieve himself in the woods. Might just as well.

 

It gets darker the further he moves away from the boathouse but there’s enough light for him to see where he’s walking. Once he’s done, he walks back to return to the party when he notices something down by the water. Suspiciously he moves through the words downhill until he reaches lakefront. There’s a small area of sand between the trees and the actual water. It’s Louis that’s standing there, looking over the quiet lake.

 

“Louis?” Liam calls out quietly, trying not to scare his friend.

 

Louis turns around and nods. Liam slowly walks to him and stands next to him. It’s a beautiful view.

 

The sky is full of stars and the moon is shining so bright that they can see all the way to the other side of the lake. The music from the party is humming over, just like occasional screams of laughter. It’s a little bit more chilly here than by the boathouse but by no means cold. It’s a perfect summer night.

 

Liam watches Louis out of the corner of his eye. No need to stare at him, after all. Louis is focused on something in the distance or probably just enjoying the view. Liam can’t see much of his face from this angle, only his dark profile against the areas that are bright from the moonlight. Louis’ a bit shorter than Liam but it’s almost unnoticeable on the bumpy ground they’re standing on. Liam wants to say something but he doesn’t know what. It’s odd to ask what Louis is doing here since he clearly came here to be alone for a while. Maybe he went to go pee for himself and then noticed the breathtaking view? Or maybe he just thought the party was too loud and wanted to escape for a moment?

 

But that doesn’t make sense. Louis usually _is_ the party.

 

Before Liam can get lost further in his thoughts, he feels something soft against his hands. He doesn’t dare to look down because he doesn’t want to ruin the silence, but after a second he realizes it’s Louis’ hand trying to grab his. Their fingers lock with no resistance and Liam’s heartbeat increases instantly. He doesn’t have a good explanation as to why he’s letting this happen but since they’ve been quiet for a while it seems oddly uncalled for to break the silence with abrupt movements or a comment. So he just stands there, letting Louis hold his hand and holding Louis’. And it’s actually not that bad.

 

He suddenly becomes awfully aware of his own breathing, of every muscle in his body. He doesn’t dare to move but he feels nervous. Whether it’s a good or bad kind, he doesn’t know. But he’s nervous.

 

Louis is still facing the water and Liam doesn’t dare to look anywhere else either.

 

After what feels like minutes but probably was only a few seconds, Liam finally relaxes and breathes out. He’s getting used to Louis’ body warmth and the intimacy of this small contact starts to feel really, really good.

 

When Louis finally turns around, Liam sees his eyes glow in the moonlight. He also notices how incredibly drunk Louis must be apparently.

  
“You should go,” Louis whispers, not breaking the eye contact. “It’s your party.”

 

Liam stands there for a few more seconds, then he let’s go of Louis’ hand. “Yeah.”

 

He doesn’t manage to say more but he parts his lips as if he might. He feels like his heart is going to jump right out of his body any moment and yet somehow manages to slowly walk away, back towards the boathouse. When he turns around, Louis is facing the water again.

 

* * *

 

 

Once it strikes midnight, Liam disappears in the crowd for a good 15 minutes because everybody wants to wrap their arms around him and wish him a happy birthday. There’s a lot of singing and even more obligatory shots with everyone. Some of his friends even push some gifts into his hands, which he promises to open the next day. His mind is spinning and he’s completely overwhelmed by all the attention.

 

Niall comes to his rescue and pulls him aside eventually. “You okay mate?”

 

Liam nods. “Yeah. It’s just a lot!” He laughs nervously but he’s happy that he has a little more space to breathe now.

 

“Enjoy being in the spotlight while it lasts, it’s nice every once in a while, isn’t it?” Niall says and ruffles Liam’s hair. “Have you seen Louis by any chance?”

 

Liam shakes his head. The last time he saw Louis was by the lake over an hour ago. He is probably the one person at the whole party who didn’t come forward to congratulate him and squash him. "No. I haven’t seen him in quiet a while actually.”

 

“Don’t worry. He was so wasted the last time I saw him. I’m sure he just couldn’t handle it anymore,” Niall says, but it doesn’t console Liam in the least.

 

“You think he passed out somewhere? In the woods?”

 

“Nah,” Niall shakes his head and starts texting on his phone. “I’ll message him. Happy birthday!”

 

Liam nods halfheartedly and watches Niall go back to the crowd. Liam hasn’t thought about Liam for the last hour but now he’s worried. He doesn’t want anyone disappearing from his party, not even Louis. Most certainly not right after they were holding hands. It has to be a coincidence.

 

When Niall finally comes up to him and informs him that Louis has taken a cab back home and said ‘happy birthday’, Liam isn’t relieved. It’s good to know that Louis is safe, but the fact that he’s left the party before the actual birthday can’t be a good sign.

 

“I feel like Niall just added the ‘happy birthday’,” he complains to Harry immediately after. A lot of the guests have said their goodbyes and gone home at this point, but some of Liam’s friends are still here.

 

He and Harry are sitting outside on one of the benches, sharing a cigarette.

 

“Why are you obsessing over Louis?” Harry asks understandably and blows some smoke in the air. “It sucks that he left but what can you do? He’s always been a bit of a prick.”

 

He’s not off with his assessment. Still, there is more to this.

 

“He held my hand tonight. Out by the lake,” Liam calmly informs his friend. Harry widens his eyes and starts grinning. “I’m not kidding.”

 

“That is fantastic news. Did you punch him and that’s why he left?”

 

Liam frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“It was a joke,” Harry laughs and pinches Liam in the side. “But seriously, what happened? I don’t see you being overly confident with another bloke holding your hand, Liam.”

 

“I don’t know,” Liam shrugs. “It felt ok in the moment, I guess.”

 

“You guess?”

 

Harry laughs again and almost falls of the bench. He’s clearly enjoying this whole thing much more than Liam is and doesn’t seem to be the worried in the least.

 

“It was just for a few seconds. Then I came back here and Louis… Apparently he never came back.”

 

“It looks to me like you’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing to scare him away at least. He was probably overwhelmed, drunk and got a bit scared,” Harry says and takes the cigarette back from Liam. “I would collapse if a certain blond grabbed my hand.”

 

“Yeah, you’d leave my party too and I’d be spending my birthday in the hospital trying to reanimate you,” Liam laughs and slaps his friend on the back. To be fair, Harry has behaved himself all night so far and didn’t act inappropriately towards Niall.

 

“Just enjoy the rest of the party and tomorrow we’ll find out what happened,” Harry says eventually. Liam finishes the cigarette and sighs. There is not much to do at this point anyway so he might just as well follow Harry’s advice.

  

* * *

 

 

Louis doesn’t show up the next day as he offered. Not that Liam actually thought he would after he had left the party early. So he cleaned up the place with his family, Harry and Niall. The two of them were still drunk the next morning but at least not hungover yet.

 

It was a drag but the party was worth it. When Liam finally collapses onto his bed at home he feels exhausted. He didn’t get much sleep last night and the amount of alcohol he’d been drinking is taking its toll now. At the same time he’s feeling very happy, it’s been a great night after all.

 

When his mum suddenly calls him and knocks on his door he realizes he must have dozed off for a while. Sleepy he crawls off of his bed and opens the door.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Sorry to wake you but your friend’s here, darling,” she says and points downstairs. Family members have dropped by all morning and Liam isn’t expecting any more guests. Weirdly enough he’s hoping that somehow Louis was the mysterious friend waiting and not Niall, telling him something terrible had happened to Louis last night or Harry, only here to make his hangover birthday worse.

 

Liam goes downstairs, not really knowing what to expect now. His mum disappeared somewhere again, so at least he has some privacy. At least as much privacy as you can have in a doorstep.

 

“Louis!” He exclaims and instantly wonders about the relief and happiness in his voice. Spending so much time with Louis in the last 24 hours definitely screwed with his mind, he thought. That is as often as he usually sees Louis in a whole month.

 

“Hey, um, can I come in?” Louis asks and Liam gladly steps aside so he can walk inside. He leads them into his bedroom and closes the door behind them.

 

“You can sit on my bed if you want,” he offers and Louis nervously sits down. Clearly he isn’t here to make jokes and unless this is a prank of some sort he seems awfully composed. “What brings you here?”

 

Louis sighs and looks at his feet. In his usual fashion he has the legs of his pants rolled up so his ankles are showing. “I just wanted to apologize for leaving yesterday. It was… stupid. And I’m sorry I didn’t stay until after midnight.”

 

“Oh, that’s ok,” Liam says but it doesn’t sound as carefree as he wants it to. “You don’t owe me anything.” And if he thinks about it, that’s true. Him and Louis have been friends but they haven’t been particularly close. If Harry had left his party it would have been a big deal. But Louis is just another regular friend. Him leaving shouldn’t affect Liam as much as it does. And it shouldn’t affect Louis either, he thinks.

 

Louis looks up at Liam and he almost seems sad. “Happy birthday.”

 

Liam smiles a little bit. He can’t help it; Louis just said it so cute. _Cute_. There it was again. Why does he all of a sudden always think Louis is cute?

 

“Thanks.”

 

“I’m sorry if that took away from your party,” Louis then says and quickly shakes his head. “Even though you probably didn’t even notice I left.”

 

What was going on here?

 

“What?” Liam says and frowns. “I noticed. I mean... I was just worried that you were lost in the woods. Apparently you left after I saw you there. But once Niall told me you were home safe…”

 

Louis nods. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I went to the lake to sober up a bit and it was just a nice moment, I don’t know. I just needed to pass out at that point. Again, I’m sorry I missed midnight.”

 

“Really, it’s fine. I understand. You were there in the beginning. I saw you. That’s all that matters. And honestly, I don’t like big crowds that much so you actually did me a favor by not hogging me,” Liam explains and sits down next to Louis. “I mean, it was nice with you-“

 

He abruptly stops as soon as he realizes where this sentence is going. He doesn’t necessarily want to reference their handholding but it just slipped out and he truly _does_ think that is a nicer way of saying ‘happy birthday’ than drunkenly jumping on him. Which Louis would have, had he been there at midnight.

 

Louis shifts around a little and the awkwardness in the room is noticeable. “Yeah, about that… I’m sorry, too.”

 

“Just stop,” Liam says and turns to Louis. He’s never seen Louis so distressed. “Stop apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

 

For a while they just look at each other.

  
“Don’t ruin that moment, Louis. And yeah… It would have been great if you had stayed but… It’s fine. Stop apologizing,” Liam insists and takes a deep breath. Now that he’s talking to Louis he realizes that all of this has been worrying him immensely since last night. Not in a troubling way, it’s just been there. Sitting in the back of his head.

 

Louis takes a deep breath too and then he smiles. “So we’re good?”

 

Liam nods. “Yeah, we are.”

 

“Ok. I just wanted to get it out of the way. For some reason it’s bothered me and I really wanted to say happy birthday,” Louis gets up and walks towards the door. “I’m afraid I can’t stay but I’m sure you have birthday-y things to do anyway.”

 

Liam gets up too and walks with him downstairs until they arrive at the door.

 

“Did you want a piece of cake or anything?” Liam asks, surprised that Louis is already leaving. “Or do you have plans?”

 

Louis pulls a face. “I can’t, I have…. A date?”

 

Liam widens his eyes. That’s interesting.

 

“Something like that at least. I mean… With a boy,” Louis adds because Liam is apparently lost for words.

 

“Oh, ok. Well… I hope he’s nice,” Liam says as he opens the door. For a moment they both just stand there. Louis reluctant to leave and Liam definitely wanting to shut the door again before Louis can escape.

 

Louis walks forward until they’re both on the same level and puts his hand on Liam’s arm. “Happy birthday.”

 

Liam nods thankfully and then Louis is gone.

 

* * *

 

“What do you mean he’s dating somebody?”, Harry asks suspiciously. Liam is sitting with Harry and Niall on their favorite bench, skipping football practice. Liam’s not really been in the mood to play with or against Louis and his two friends are clearly more interested in each other than kicking a ball.

 

“How can he be dating somebody?”, Harry keeps wondering and throws his hands in the air. “Is he even out? I should be dating somebody.” He looks at Liam, then turns to Niall on his other side. “Are we dating?”

 

Liam laughs. “Wow. Two weeks ago on this bench you didn’t even dare to talk to Niall.”

 

Harry just shrugs and Niall grins. “I guess we are, Haz.”

 

Liam rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness of this whole situation and goes back to spying on Louis. He’s super athletic and running around like a crazy person. Obviously he’s scored most of the goals so far and half the team is angry that they’re missing three players (who are provocatively watching from the side of the field).

 

“Yeah, he said it again in class this morning. So it’s definitely a multiple-date thing,” Liam confirms sadly. Whether he wants to admit it or not, he’s been thinking a lot about Louis for the past days. Ever since his birthday he’s started seeing Louis in a different light. His jokes were still annoying 140% of the time but he seems like a really good person and – most importantly – he distracts Liam from all the crap in his life. Even without them actually talking. Thinking about Louis in all the good and bad ways has taken Liam’s mind off exams, homework, practice and the daily quarrel with his family. He was usually focused on his goals and followed through with his plans but now he’s experiencing all these new things and thoughts that he can't explain. He wants to say it’s because he’s a year older now but he knows it’s because Louis grabbed his hand and opened his eyes in some way.

 

“I think it’s hilarious that it bothers you,” Harry says and makes Liam turn around. For a second he forgot that he was not alone. “And I like that I’m not alone in this anymore.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well… liking blokes, you know?” Harry says and raises his eyebrows. Niall just smiles in the background. That kid always seems to smile, what is wrong with him?

 

Liam is too confused to respond and he doesn’t even know if he agrees or not. Does he fancy guys now? He looks over at his two friends and definitely does not fancy anything about that. So was it just Louis?

 

“You’re coming tonight, right?” Niall finally asks. “Now it’s my turn to get older.”

 

“Ugh, another party,” Liam sighs overly annoyed.

 

“It’s not my fault I was born two weeks after you!” Niall responds but he knows Liam was just joking.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Mostly to please your boyfriend.”

 

Harry laughs. “Hey, I do not carry that title.” Liam adds a little ‘yet’ in his mind.  “But yes, please come. I want you to be there!”

 

Liam nods. “I know, I know. I’ll be there.” He pauses for a while and then asks: “Is… Louis gonna be there?”

 

Harry and Liam both look at Niall expectantly. “Yeah. I invited the whole team. I’m sure he’s coming.”

 

Harry turns back to look at Liam, who doesn’t know how to feel. “You reckon he’s gonna bring his date, Liam?”

 

Liam shrugs. “How am I supposed to know?”

 

There’s a silence and Liam can feel the other two looking at him pitiful. What is this?

 

“What the hell, I can drink right?” He says finally and laughs, more forced than not. “I have _one_ functioning kidney.”

 

He hasn’t been drinking for 18 years and now Louis is making him an alcoholic. Fantastic.

 

* * *

 

 

Niall’s party is so much better than Liam’s.

 

There are people _everywhere_ in his house, he has a fantastic band playing in his living room (!) and generally there just seems to be a lot more of everything. Liam feels as if he’d just celebrated his twelfth birthday last week and wants to crawl into a hole.

 

“This is… quite the party,” he says as he walks in and Harry immediately thrusts a full cup into his hand.

 

“Here. Drink. You’re gonna need it.”

 

Liam frowns but obediently takes a big gulp of the disgusting liquid in his cup. It could be whiskey because it smells too intense to be vodka. Liam’s good at distinguishing that from all the times his friends have thrown up around him (and in Harry’s case even _on_ him).

 

“This is horrible,” he declares. “Why am I drinking this?”

 

“Louis is here,” Harry answers and puts both of his hands on Liam’s shoulders. “With Zayn.”

 

Liam tilts his head and looks confused. “Your old friend? I remember being so jealous when you were spending much more time with him than with me last summer. You never told me what happened. Why is _he_ here? And why is he dating Louis?”

 

Harry slaps him in the face. “Wake up old man!”

 

Ok, wow. What was that for?

 

“My old friend?”, Harry repeats mockingly. “He was the first boy I ever kissed. He converted me basically. Ok, stupid way to put it but you know what I mean. And now he’s dating Louis.” 

 

Liam blinks a few times and then takes another big, big gulp out of his cup. Harry stares at him both frustrated and apologetic. “Can I have some more whiskey?”

 

Harry laughs.

 

The next hour consists of a lot of drinking and awkward staring. When Liam finally notices Louis on the other side of the kitchen he waves at him and Louis waves back.

 

“Come on. Don’t even…” Harry says and shoves Liam into the living room. He’s been dancing around Niall all night but the birthday boy is trying to please all of his guests and apparently knows everyone in town between the ages of 16 and 25. So Harry’s very obvious plan to make Zayn jealous is absolutely failing.

 

“Stop being so weird. Let’s mingle,” he advises Liam who almost spits his drink in his face.

 

“I have just received some interesting piece of information, Harold. Not only has the bloke that’s been on my mind brought a date. No, that date has been snogging you all of last summer! And I was kept completely in the dark!”

 

Harry doesn’t know whether to laugh or be sorry. He and Liam sit down in a tiny free spot on one of the sofas and face each other.

 

“Isn’t alcohol supposed to solve problems?” Liam asks and looks at the cup in his hand. “It’s not working, I can tell you that much.”

 

“Stop it. You know everything there is to know now. You said hi to Louis. Now we can enjoy the party! The cat’s out of the bag,” Harry says and pats Liam on his shoulder. “What are you gonna do about it? The worst part is over.”

 

Liam rolls his eyes and Harry let’s go of him.

 

“Nevermind. I take that back,” he suddenly says and jumps up. “I have to be somewhere.”

 

Liam shakes his head. “Are you kidding me?”

 

Without any further explanation Harry wanders off and Liam almost laughs at himself. This whole night has been surprising on so many levels so far.

 

“Hey, Liam,” a voice says behind him. Louis walks in front of him. Of course. At this point Liam doesn’t even bother to get wound up anymore. He just downs his drink and faces the inevitable.

 

“Hello, Louis. How good to see you,” he says and it sounds way more sarcastic than he meant it to. But Liam is buzzed, so he doesn’t really care.

 

“How are you?”

 

Liam lets out a short laugh. Where to begin?

 

“Ok,” Louis says a little confused. “Next question. Care for a smoke?”

 

Liam slowly nods and after Louis got himself a vodka drink they step outside. Liam has opted for a beer, which he is clinging onto now.

 

It is warm out and much quieter than inside. A couple of other people are in Niall’s front yard smoking but they are scattered about so Louis has the privacy he wanted.

 

“How have you been?” Louis starts and helps Liam light a cigarette. “We haven’t really talked since your birthday.”

 

Liam blows out some smoke. “I’ve been alright. Busy.”

 

“You never come to practice anymore.”

 

“Yeah. Like I said, I’ve been busy.” Liam is not trying to be a dick on purpose but the alcohol in his blood is doing funny things to him. He’s acting differently than he’s used to and if this is an opportunity to be mean to Louis for dating some guy after he held _his_ hand, then so be it.

 

“The guy that I was with inside… That’s, um, Zayn.”

 

“I know,” Liam says. “Harry…”

 

Louis nods. Apparently he knows already.

 

“His tattoos are nice,” Liam says, forcing himself to come up with something other than an insult.

 

“I like yours too,” Louis says quickly. What is this conversation?

 

Again there’s a pause and they’re both just smoking. Every time one of them inhales, the crackle fills the silence.

 

“I saw Harry and Niall kiss tonight,” Louis says finally and Liam doesn’t know what to do with that information.

 

“They’ve been seeing each other since my birthday,” he states. That’s not entirely accurate but who cares about a day more or less. Liam was the only one who knew about their first kiss a week ago but apparently they’ve decided to make it official tonight.

 

“I had no idea. I mean, about Niall. Everyone knew about Harry,” Louis says. Hell, was Liam the only one blind enough to not notice Harry’s interest in boys? But then again he did question Harry’s sexuality a couple of times before, he just never thought there was anything to it.

 

“They like each other. I’m very happy for them.”

 

“Don’t get me wrong, me too. I just always thought Harry and you…” Louis doesn’t finish his sentence but Liam is already coughing up smoke.

 

“Excuse me? Did you think Harry and me were boyfriends?”

 

Liam is confused. He knows that he’s been close with Harry publicly but they never did anything that would make other people assume there was something going on between them. Thankfully, Louis shakes his head.

 

“No, not boyfriends. But I always thought Harry liked you a lot and I was wondering if you liked him back, you know? That’s why I held your hand.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I wanted to know whether you would punch me or not. And you didn’t. So I concluded you fancied boys. Namely Harry,” Louis explains in a very matter-of-fact way and takes a sip.

 

“Well, you were right about me,” Liam admits a little hesitant.

 

He needs a second to process this. So that was the reason for Louis holding his hand? He wanted to test out whether Liam was gay or not? And the fact that Liam held on gave him his answer. Apparently it also made Louis think that he and Harry were with each other in some way.

 

It’s hard to read Louis face right now. He looks indifferent but there are hints of sadness that Liam has a hard time noticing. Then it hits him.

 

“Is that why you left my party?” he asks.

 

It was a bit of a stretch to basically accuse Louis of this, but Liam thinks it’s worth a shot. He couldn’t figure out Louis’ sadness the day after his party and this seems to make somewhat sense.

 

Louis not answering is all the answer Liam needs.

 

“That’s why you left my party,” he whispers and Louis just looks at his feet.

 

“The moment I held your hand I realized that you were so different from what I had previously thought,” Louis says without looking at him. “Actually spending time with you - and it was only one hour - changed my mind about you completely. But it also confirmed my suspicions about you fancying boys and probably Harry. So I let you go. I was drunk but I wasn’t drunk enough to go off on a hunch and cause trouble.”

 

Liam closes his eyes and lets the whole thing sink in.  So Louis was going through the same miraculous change of mind that he himself was going through. But he was kind enough not to mess with Liam’s head and assumed that Liam was already interested in somebody else. So he let go. He let go.

 

“There’s nothing between me and Harry. Nothing of that sort at least. And there never has been,” Liam clarifies and Louis raises his head.

 

“Oh,” he simply says. “Well, it doesn’t matter now I guess.”

 

Liam wants to start screaming. This whole situation is so stupid and he whishes he was back in the woods with Louis again.

 

“It wouldn’t have mattered in the first place anyway, would it?” Louis states.

 

Yeah, would it? Liam knew all of this back then. He knew that Louis fancied boys and he knew that there was nothing between himself and Harry. And yet, he didn’t say anything or do anything. What could he have said or done anyway? Hold Louis’ other hand? Kiss him even? As much as he wishes he were back in the woods right now, Liam also wonders what he’d do differently now compared to two weeks ago.  For him at least, it’s the same situation. Except now, he’s started liking Louis. And if Louis had known about him and Harry back then, would _he_ have done more?

 

Liam can feel a headache approaching from all the confusing questions and what ifs. And from the whiskey.

 

“Well now you know,” Liam says because he doesn’t know what else to say, as usual. “You should go back inside. I’m sure Zayn’s looking for you.”

 

If this wasn’t so depressing he would laugh at how the tables have turned now and _he_ was sending _Louis_ back this time.

 

Without giving him any kind of recognition Louis flicks his cigarette and heads back inside. Liam looks after him but feels too stupid to call him back.

 

The only good thing about this night is seeing Harry truly happy. Once the party gets going, Niall pays Harry all the attention he needs and seeing them both kissing and cuddling is the one thing that puts a smile on Liam’s face. All of their friends are giggling around them and cheering and Liam is glad to see that.

 

For the rest of the night he can’t shake off the feeling that he missed out on something great.

 

* * *

 

 

Niall’s birthday unfortunately marks the end of summer break and the beginning of a new school year. Liam hasn’t been looking forward to it for many reasons (exams, homework, revising, Louis/Zayn) and therefore the first two weeks are just awful. But by the third week he has figured out most of his new classes so it’s somewhat tolerable. Luckily, Louis and Zayn don’t parade through the halls every day, so the heavy feeling in Liam’s chest isn’t as heavy as predicted.

 

He is sitting outside on the steps of the school with Harry, Jesy and Eleanor. Both girls are in his year and he is fond of them but it’s mostly Harry who brings them all together.

 

“I’m just glad we have a few classes together, otherwise I’d have to start doing my own homework”, he hears Harry say and gives him a dirty look.

 

“You could finally start actually doing something for school, you know?”

 

Harry just grins at him and has the girls giggling.

 

“I can’t believe it’s our last year and then we’re finally done,” Jesy sighs and takes a sip of her coffee.

 

It’s a lovely afternoon and the sun is out, which should make Liam feel all relaxed and good. But he’s not been the same since his conversation with Louis at Niall’s party. For one, he’s come to terms with fancying boys now, which is a weird change to be going through. And two, after a couple of days trying to forget about Louis and trying to shove his thoughts somewhere far away he’s finally accepted that he has a huge crush on Louis and seeing him with Zayn simply hurts.

 

“I can’t wait to get out of this place. It’s been long enough,” Liam says and the others nod in agreement. “I’m really not ready to do this another year.”

 

“Stop being so negative, it’s bringing me down,” Harry says and slaps him on the head. “What are you so pissed about anyway?”

 

Liam shrugs. He has talked to Harry multiple times about Louis and he’s been very pragmatic about it: either go up and talk to him or let it go. Liam has done neither and Harry was having none of it.

 

“If you have a problem, solve it. If you don’t, then stop being so pessimistic.”

 

“Really? That coming from you?” Liam looks at Harry and isn’t sure whether this was still joking or more serious. Either way, it was not a good topic and he was looking at Jesy and Eleanor to create a diversion.

 

“So… Are there any news?” Jesy begins, looking at her friends. “I was talking to Perrie earlier but she didn’t have any gossip… Have you got anything on Louis and Zayn? You’ve been Louis’ BFF since you were born, I’m sure there’s something.” She looks at Eleanor and Liam just wants to die.

 

This is about as awful a topic as Liam’s mood is.

 

“Not much,” Eleanor says and unwraps a chocolate bar. “They’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks now but Louis doesn’t like to talk about it.”

 

“Why not?” Harry wonders and gestures that he should be given the chocolate next. Eleanor rolls her eyes and hands it over.

 

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “He’s never really dated a boy before. Only snogging.”

 

Liam feels miserable listening to this. Rehashing Louis’ new relationship is not something he should have to sit through.

 

“They seem happy,” Jesy notes. “I don’t see them jumping each other but Zayn always waits around for Louis and writes him notes in class. I think it’s cute.”

 

“I think it’s rubbish,” Harry says and Liam is glad. At least his best friend is defending him in some way. Although it’s not gonna make a difference. “I don’t buy it.”

 

“You think you and Niall are cuter?” Jeys asks with a grin on her face and slaps Harry with a book. “I can’t believe that’s a thing now. How do you guys ever have a conversation? I feel like neither of you knows how to shut up.”

 

“You don’t know how to shut up,” Harry says and gets up to tickle Jesy. Eleanor tries to get out of their way while Jesy runs away, screaming.

 

“Don’t hate on my relationship!” Harry yells and chases her up and down the stairs.

 

“He talks about you, you know?”

 

Liam looks up at Eleanor in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

She sighs. “Louis. I don’t wanna be rude or anything. But he might have mentioned that you… are on the same team?” She says it like a question but clearly Louis has given her the facts of Liam’s sexual orientation already. “I’m sorry if it’s not true. And I’m sorry if it’s true and you don’t wanna talk about it. You know what? Forget I said anything.”

 

She shifts uncomfortably as Harry and Jesy sit back down. Jesy gives Eleanor an angry look, which Liam thinks is supposed to scold her. So they have been talking about it as well.

 

“It’s true,” he says finally. Harry shuts up for once and the two girls just look at him expectantly. “I do… fancy boys. I guess. I don’t know. Not all of them. And I still like girls I think.”

 

Jesy smiles and Eleanor sighs in relief. “Good. I thought you were gonna hate me now.”

 

“No, it’s fine,” Liam says and smiles a little. Did he just come out to his friends?

 

“I think it’s fantastic,” Jesy grins at him and puts her hand on his shoulder. “And I really, really don’t care.”

 

“Eww, gross. I don’t wanna talk to you anymore,” Harry laughs and shoves Liam off the stairs. Liam can’t help but laugh even though the girls both reach over to hit Harry.

 

“Way to be sensitive,” Jesy snorts.

  
“It was a joke,” Harry says. “Liam knows it was a joke. Come on! You’ve seen me make out with Niall!”

 

“I’m a little freaked out that you guys seem not surprised at all,” Liam says eventually. He thought his coming-out would have a bigger impact actually. Harry obviously already knows but Jesy and Eleanor seem very composed.

 

“Well. I was when Louis told me for the first time. I mean you had a girlfriend and everything,” Eleanor admits. “But I guess that’s already two years ago.”

 

“And I was when Eleanor told me,” Jesy says. Eleanor hits her in the side. “What?”

 

“I’ve only told her, I promise. I don’t want you to think I’m a shitty friend but I didn’t know if I should ask you or not, so I talked to Jesy,” Eleanor says in her defense.

 

“It’s cool, really,” Liam nods. “I don’t think you’re a shitty friend and I was going to tell you anyway at some point. I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark.”

 

He had in fact thought about telling more people then Harry, but he didn’t even know what to say. Was he gay? Was he bi? Was he straight but gay for Louis? He’s a little bit mad that Louis spilled the beans to Eleanor because he really wanted them to hear it from him personally. But at least Louis apparently cares enough about Liam to talk about him. And that’s a good thing. Everything counts. And after a second he thinks, what a pathetic attitude.

 

“Can I ask you something, Liam?” Jesy says eventually after all four of them share a laugh over Harry finishing Eleanor’s second candy bar in one go.

 

“Sure.”

 

“How did Louis know?” And there it was. How is he gonna get out of this one? “I didn’t know you guys were that close?”

 

Liam sees Harry look somewhere else, which means he’s definitely alone in this now. He’s certainly not going to give away that he held Louis hand and fell for him.

 

“He found out on my birthday,” he begins and at least he’s not lying so far. “He saw me… with a boy I like.”

 

He doesn’t know where this is going and he’s not sure that he sounds believable. He drags out every word until the sentence is finished, hoping he can buy himself some time to come up with a brilliant plan.

 

Luckily Jesy simply says “I see” and drops the topic.

 

They say their goodbye after a while and Liam starts to walk back home when Eleanor taps him on the shoulder. “Hey. Can I just talk to you for one more minute?”

 

Liam frowns but nods. “Of course. What’s up?”

 

Eleanor takes a deep breath and Liam can already tell that he’s not ready for whatever she’s gonna say next.

 

“I just have a question. It might sound weird but I just… have to ask.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“Do you… like Louis?”

 

She seems a little nervous asking but Liam knows he’s much more nervous than her. He did not expect to be confronted so directly about Louis and it makes him sweat. He doesn’t want to lie to Eleanor but he also can’t embarrass himself in front of her.

 

“You said you were with a boy you liked on your birthday,” Eleanor continues, not making it any better for Liam. “Louis told me about how you guys…”

 

Were holding hands. That blabbermouth could never shut up.

 

“Maybe there was another guy and I’m totally off here,” Eleanor says dismissively. It’s obvious that she doesn’t feel great having this conversation but at the same time it doesn’t seem to let her go. “But I was just wondering. I know Louis was wondering too. But unlike him, I knew you and Harry were not a thing. So... I’m just curious?”

 

“Are you gonna talk to him about this?”

 

“Do you want me to?”

 

This almost resembles a fight now, where they both throw questions at each other until one of them breaks. Liam looks away. He wants to tell Eleanor that he does in fact like Louis. Very much. But he doesn’t want her to tell him, especially not now that he’s dating Zayn.

 

“You’re right,” he says eventually. He hears his own voice and it sounds like he’s giving up. “I like him a lot. That’s why I held his hand. And I didn’t even know up until then.”

 

Eleanor looks at him and Liam continues. “That night, I knew. But before I could even sort a thought out in my head he acted weird and then he found Zayn, so… Congratulations, El. You’re a very good detective, figuring this all out from talking to him and me. And I’m sure you’re a great friend to Louis. But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell him this. Nothing good’s going to come out of this. It’s too late.”

 

Eleanor looks so sad all of a sudden. Why is she disappointed? It’s not like she’s the one that fell for somebody that’s now taken. Slowly she nods.

 

“I guess we just had bad timing,” he concludes. Wow, did he sound bitter.

 

Right now, Liam just wants to get away from here. Thinking all of this is one thing but saying it out loud has a finality that just hurts really deep.

 

“I’m happy he found someone.”

 

Eleanor reaches out but Liam just smiles at her faintly and walks away. The look on her face says more than he needs to know and if she’s already feeling terrible, then how is he supposed to feel?

 

Liam can feel tears welling up in his eyes as he marches away from Eleanor without looking back. He closes his eyes but he can barely hold it back.

 

Once he’s around the corner, he throws his backpack on the floor, leans against the wall and sinks to the ground. His head falls into his hands and then he lets it all go. For a good three minutes he’s sobbing uncontrollably. He keeps his palms pressed to his eyes but he can’t stop the tears. He takes a few shallow breaths before he wipes them away and looks up. Thankfully nobody’s near him to witness his meltdown, although he wouldn’t even care at this point.

 

He didn’t plan on crying but now there’s no going back. He’s so frustrated that it hurts. Crying over Louis seems ridiculous but what can he do? He can’t stop thinking about him and everyday it just gets worse and worse. Liam knows that he’s falling for Louis and he has no idea how to stop it. He can’t get Louis out of his mind, not even for an hour.

 

He’s angry with himself for not having realized all of this before but how was he supposed to? And now Louis has Zayn who apparently makes him happy and Liam’s alone. It’s frustrating and it’s so not fair.

 

Liam pulls out his phone and takes a few more deep breaths. The crying has stopped but the pain is still there, more so than before. He pulls up his conversation with Harry and then types: _How do you get over someone you’ve never even dated?_  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two for you guys. Thank you so much for reading this! Makes me really happy :))

 

The weird thing is that even though most of Liam’s conversations with his friends (and even his sisters!) seem to revolve around Louis 90% of the time lately, he’s only had two full talks with Louis himself. One on the day of his birthday and the other one at Niall’s party. Before that, it was the occasional teasing in the locker room and even that has stopped by now.

 

After his break down Liam tried to avoid Eleanor because he wasn’t sure if she’d strike up a conversation again. Apparently she didn’t shy away from those, no matter how uncomfortable. He was also still trying do avoid Louis as well; he hoped that Eleanor had in fact kept her mouth shut about his confession.

 

But now, two weeks later, and Liam is sitting in his biology class and nothing weird has happened yet. Him and Louis had an unspoken agreement of not talking to each other and thankfully that included pranks and jokes. Since they had never been close friends, nobody seemed to notice.

 

“What a stupid day,” Harry sighs next to him and rolls his eyes.

 

Liam couldn’t agree more. School was unbearably annoying this year and not even because of Louis. All his classes are hard and incredibly boring, and a general sense of annoyance spread amongst him and his friends. It became increasingly hard to attend all his classes but Liam knows, if he didn’t go, he’d fail them all.

 

“What are you doing later?” Harry asks and pinches Liam in his side. He flinches a little and gives him an angry look.

 

“Don’t do that,” he whispers back, trying not to get his teacher’s attention. “I don’t know. Probably lay in bed, close my eyes and pray for this year to be over.”

 

“Melodramatic much? We still have a billion months left, don’t despair after the first one,” Harry answers and starts drawing random objects on his paper.

 

“What are you doing?” Liam asks back and tries to copy down what’s written on the blackboard. “Why are you asking?”

 

“I’m going down to Funnky Buddha. Wanna join?”

 

“No way,” Liam responds and shakes his head. He couldn’t think of anything worse than watching his friends get shitfaced on a Friday night, not in his current state of mind. He prefers solitude over company. “I’m not in the mood for loud, drunk and expensive.”

“You sound just like Niall,” Harry scoffs and rolls his eyes.

 

“He’s not joining you?”

 

“No. He prefers a quiet bar down at the pub.”

 

“That sounds less horrible than spending the night drinking in a club.”

 

“Of course you would say that.”

 

“Wow, you’re insulting your best friend AND your boyfriend in one go. Way to go, Styles,” Liam just says and grins. He knows they’re just teasing each other, as they’ll never agree on the same idea of a fun Friday night.

 

“I take it you’re not coming then?” Harry laughs and keeps on drawing doodles. “Good. Then I’ll tell Niall I’m with you.”

 

Liam frowns and turns around. “Why?”

 

“So he doesn’t judge me,” Harry replies without looking at him.

 

“You’re seriously going to lie to your boyfriend? Who cares what you do, he’s gonna be just as wasted as you I assume?”

 

“We get different kinds of drunk. I just wanna be careful and not scare him off in the first couple of weeks.”

 

Liam has a lot of thoughts on this but he can’t really start a conversation about trust with Harry right now in class and he also doesn’t want to involve himself too much with their relationship.

 

“Fine. When Niall make’s his daily phone call to me, I’ll assure him that you’re with me and we’re braiding our hair,” he says and sighs.

 

“Thanks,” Harry laughs and winks at him. “You’re a good friend.”

 

Yeah, the things he does for Harry.

 

* * *

 

It was a set-up for disaster. Liam should have known.

 

Harry going off on his own, lying to Niall…. In hindsight Liam wishes he had stayed strong and simply refused to lie for his best friend; had made him tell Niall where he was going. Or had just joined Harry. Anything. But no, he stayed home that Friday night until he got a phone call in the middle of the night.

 

It was after 3 am when his phone starts buzzing on his nightstand. Liam doesn’t even notice it the first few times but then he slowly wakes up and reaches over to grab it. He doesn’t recognize the number and hesitates. Is this a prank call? But then again, calls in the middle of the night usually mean nothing good. Since he’s awake already, Liam decides to pick up.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Liam? Thank god you picked up. I’m so, so, so sorry to wake you in the middle of the night.”

 

Liam rubs his forehead. He has trouble recognizing the voice. There’s panic in there and definitely some drunkenness.

 

“Who is this?”

 

“It’s Louis.”

 

Liam closes his eyes. The last thing he wants right now is Louis drunk-dialing him right now.

 

“Where does Harry live?” Louis says next, which throws Liam off a little bit. What does that have to do with anything?

  
“Why? Are you with him?”

 

Louis doesn’t respond right away, which has Liam freak out a little bit. He’s fully awake now. “Louis? Talk to me!”

 

Liam jumps out of his bed and starts pacing up and down in the darkness. He knows his room well enough to not walk into anything, thankfully.

 

“I don’t really know what to do,” Louis says suddenly. He speaks quickly and Liam he’s a hard time understanding everything. “He’s… very, very drunk and… Hurt. He’s hurt. Should I even bring him home? Should I take him to the hospital?”

 

“You’re asking me?!” Liam yells. He doesn’t even care if the whole house wakes up. This conversation has gotten out of control fast. “Where are you?! What happened?”

 

“Can you just come down here? He’s fine, don’t worry. I just… I don’t know what to do. Don’t freak out, ok? Just, come down here. Can you? We’re outside Funky Buddha.”

 

Liam is already in the process of throwing on some clothes and slipping into his shoes. He hangs up on Louis, grabs his keys and rushes out the door.

 

About 20 minutes later he arrives at the club. He pulls his parents’ car into the parking lot and already spots Louis walking towards him. He looks tired and drunk. He has his arms crossed, phone in hand.

 

The drive was quick because there are almost no cars on the road in the middle of the night. Liam had to remind himself a couple of times not to speed like a crazy person and Louis had sent him multiple texts that told him not to worry about Harry too much but at the same time urged him to hurry the fuck up.

 

“Thank god,” Louis mumbles as Liam gets out of the car.

 

Liam locks the doors and walks towards Louis. “Where is? What’s going on?”

 

Louis looks at him apologetically and points in a direction. Quickly they walk towards where Louis had pointed. He wraps his arms around himself; it was chilly October night.

 

“Um, Harry’s drunk out of his mind. But…,” Louis begins and looks at Liam. “Zayn punched him. A lot.”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”, Liam shouts and raises his eyebrows. What the fuck was Zayn thinking? Punching people?

 

“I don’t know how bad it is. He’s conscious and only bleeding a little but I don’t wanna take it too lightly, you know? I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never been in a fight,” Louis keeps talking as they walk faster and faster. “I’m not sure exactly what happened. Harry had disappeared at some point and his friends have been looking for him for at least two hours. We tried calling him but he didn’t pick up. Eventually they left. They shot you a couple of texts too, if you heard anything but I guess you were asleep.”

 

Liam had noticed a few unread texts on his phone while he was in the car but at that point it had already been too late. It wasn’t overly unusual to lose track of Harry on a given night out but generally he was just throwing up in the bathroom or talking to some boy outside. “Where was he?”

 

“Once Harry’s friends had left, we wanted to go too. I looked for Zayn but he was gone too. I stayed back because I didn’t wanna go home without him and he was supposed to be my ride. I finally found him and Harry when I walked around the club.”

 

They had reached the back of the club by now, which is apparently where Louis found Harry and Zayn. Harry is sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall and there are no traces of the other fucker. A tall, big man is standing next to Harry and Liam assumes it’s the doorman. 

 

“This your friend?” the guy asks in a deep voice. Louis nods. “Alright. Take him to a hospital, or at least home. Babysitting’s over. And next time, don’t even bother bringing him or the other bloke for that matter.”

 

Louis nods again as the doorman walks away. “I didn’t wanna leave Harry alone while I was waiting for you.”

 

Liam kneels down in front of Harry. He’s passed out but there’s blood all over his face and Liam can see many bruises, even on his fingers. At least he had fought Zayn back, it seems.  “Shit, Harry. Harry, it’s me, Liam.”

 

He softly shakes his friend who nods and mumbles his name. “Liam… Not Niall.”

 

Liam throws Louis a confused look.

 

“That’s all he said. Your name and ‘don’t tell Niall’,” Louis explains with a slight roll of his eyes. “So I picked out your number from his phone and called you. I don’t know his parents, I didn’t know if it was cool to call them? I don’t wanna get him into any trouble but clearly he’s not alright.”

 

“Are you hurt?” Liam asks and turns back to Harry. He shakes his head but Liam only sighs. “I’ll drive him to the hospital. It might be nothing but I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens.”

 

Louis nods in agreement. “I would have done that too but I shouldn’t drive and I don’t even have a car and I didn’t know if I should even…”

 

“It’s fine,” Liam says briefly. “Help me?”

 

Together they lift Harry up and drag him all the way to Liam’s car. Apparently he’s able to move all his limbs even though he seems to slip and out of his mind periodically. But that’s probably just because he’s absolutely shitfaced. Harry reeks of liquor but at least he’s laughing out of nowhere as they heave him into the backseat.

 

“I guess that’s a good sign?” Louis notes. “You want me to stay back here with him?”

 

“It’s better if he lays down. Thank you, though,” Liam says and closes the door. Harry spreads out all over the backseat and appears to be asleep again.

 

Louis walks over to the passenger side and opens the door. It takes Liam a little by surprise because so far he hasn’t even thought about Louis.

 

“Are you coming with me?”

 

Louis freezes and blinks. “Uh… Well. I’m worried about Harry and… Nobody else is here anymore, I only stayed because of him. Unless you wanna leave me in the parking lot…”

 

Liam sighs. Obviously he doesn’t want to leave Louis standing alone in the parking lot. Just the thought of that stings him. Especially since Louis took care of Harry without hesitation. But it was a weird setup after all. However, they didn’t have any time to lose.

 

“Sure.”

 

They both get in and Liam starts the engine. As he pulls out of the parking lot, Louis asks: “You know where to go? I’ll figure out directions.”

 

Louis fumbles around with his phone and starts directing Liam to the hospital, as soon as they hit the road.

 

“We should be there in about twenty five minutes,” Louis says and turns up the volume on his phone. The electronic voice randomly tells Liam where to go and he follows obediently.

 

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this,” Louis says and looks out the window. It’s dark out and they’re rarely passing any cars.

 

“Don’t be silly. He’s my best friend, I’m glad you called me,” Liam says, keeping his eyes on the road. “And you were right, you know? His parents would kill him if they knew. He usually sleeps over at my place or now Niall’s. They know about his drinking and barely tolerate it. But a fist fight? That would not go over well.”

 

“They’re gonna find out that we brought him to a hospital though?”

 

“Not necessarily. They think he’s staying at mine, I’m sure. And we can spin the story once he’s sobered up tomorrow. Tell them he fell down the stairs or walked into a pole.”

 

“It’s pretty clear to see that he got punched, Liam.”

 

“I elbowed him by accident, who cares. Anyway, you did the right thing. And Niall… don’t even get me started. I guess Harry will be happy you didn’t call him either.”

 

Louis nods quietly and sighs.

 

“So, you wanna tell me why your arsehole boyfriend punched Harry?” Liam asks eventually. His question is loaded with anger, not at Louis but at the boy he’s dating. He knows the question bothers Louis because Louis sheepishly stares out of the window.

 

“I’m not a hundred percent sure,” Louis says with a weak voice. “I just found them throwing punches at each other and the moment I came closer, Zayn told me to ‘fuck off and die’ and ran away. It wasn’t a difficult decision to stay with Harry and not go after him.”

 

Liam almost laughs and he can see Louis shaking his head. What a prick, Liam thinks.

 

Once they bring Harry into the hospital, Liam has to fill out a lot of information on Harry before Harry’s finally being taken care of. Louis patiently waits in the waiting area when Liam walks in.

 

“Oh, you’re still here,” Liam says and steps closer.

 

“Yeah,” Louis nods and smiles faintly. “Is he alright?”

 

Liam shrugs. “They’re checking him now. All we can do is wait, I guess.” He steps forward and sits down next to Louis. “You can go home, you know? I appreciate your help but there’s no need for you to wait with me.”

 

“Can’t sleep now anyway. And I still don’t have a ride since Zayn left me. I’ll stay with you if that’s ok.”

 

Liam just nods and closes his eyes for minute. He’s incredibly tired and worried. He knows that Harry is going to be fine eventually and since they brought him to the hospital he hopefully won’t have any lasting damages. He feels the shock and panic he’s experienced over the last hour slowly fade away and relax a little bit.

 

When he opens his eyes he looks at Louis, sitting in the chair next to him. He looks worn out and extremely exhausted. His hair is all sweaty and his clothes are stained, probably from partying too hard. It’s weird to see him like this, without his big mouth and happy persona. He looks so small.

 

“You ok?” Liam asks quietly.

 

Louis looks over and nods. Again, there’s this sadness in his eyes that Liam has seen before. Witnessing your own boyfriend beating somebody up and then leaving you is a painful scenario and Liam feels intensely sorry all of a sudden. Undoubtedly the night hadn’t gone as Louis imagined. Harry was injured but at least he was taken care of now. But Louis was hurt too, that was clearly visible.

 

“Thank you,” Liam says without breaking eye contact with Louis. “For what you’ve done. I know you don’t know Harry well… or me. But that was extremely nice of you.”

 

“I guess it’s never too late to become a good person,” Louis answers and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes, leans back and Liam isn’t sure whether he tears up or not.

 

Liam has spent the past weeks being sad to his core because of Louis. Not because of anything he’d done but because Louis existed and he couldn’t get close to him. He has spent nights crying into his pillow when he felt lonely and just wanted to reach out. He’s told himself repeatedly that Louis was NOT funny or charming or cute. And he has spent every ounce of energy he had left to distract himself from falling for Louis, but his heart just wouldn’t listen and his pain wouldn’t go away. He couldn’t get over Louis.

 

Now, seeing Louis similarly sad, Liam can barely look at him. It’s bad enough that he himself is unhappy. It’s not fair for Louis to be unhappy too. And especially not because of that wanker Zayn.

 

So he does the only thing he knows how to and reaches out for Louis’s hand. They meet on their mutually shared armrest and Liam slides his fingers into Louis’.

 

“Is that our thing now?” Louis asks, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

 

“Shut up.”

 

* * *

 

 

They actually manage to keep Harry’s stint in the hospital under the covers. Harry tells his parents that Liam had elbowed him while dancing and then he fell on the dancefloor. He tells everyone else that Zayn punched him because he’s a total twat, which makes it easier for Louis to announce their break up.

 

Mysteriously enough, Zayn stays away from both Louis and Harry, which is good for all Liam cares. Harry vehemently protests talking about what exactly happened and why Zayn freaked out, and by the end of the month Liam gives up to get an answer.

 

“Just promise me you’ll never put yourself into a situation like that again,” Liam warns him as they walk down the hallway after class. “That’s the last I’ll say to this and then I’ll drop it.”

 

“No promises!” Harry says and puts his hands up in the air. He’s laughing now, which makes Liam both mad and happy at the same time. Harry’s face is still swollen and there are bruises on his knuckles but other than that he’s been fine ever since he woke up the next morning. He was cracking gang fight jokes when Liam walked into his room and only got quiet for the ten minutes Liam yelled at him. After he genuinely thanked Liam for helping him out, he stuffed his mouth full with candy that Liam had brought knowingly. “There’s my savior!”

 

Liam looks up and sees Louis walk towards them.

 

“How’re you doing, superman?” Harry grins at Louis and pats him on the shoulder. Ever since last weekend he’s been ridiculously fond of Louis, which brought Liam in a conflicted situation. He wasn’t opposed to spending time with Louis on Harry’s behalf but at the same time it didn’t help his heart heal any faster.

 

“How are you holding up? Wearing your bruises proudly I see?”

 

“I wanted to get dinosaur band aids but Liam wouldn’t let me,” Harry says and that’s unfortunately true.

 

“Fun sponge,” Louis mumbles and they both look at Liam. Wait. How did he become the bad guy in this scenario?

 

“Wanna join us for some after school cake?” Harry proceeds to asks and smiles at Louis. Eating cake was one of his favorites and he shared that with Niall. Their relationship took a slight hit when Niall found out about Harry’s lying but so far it was his top priority to worry about Harry’s health and Harry hoped there was no serious conversation to follow any time soon.

 

“I can’t, I have to go home to watch my sisters,” Louis says and a little needle stings Liam’s heart. He’s sure that seeing Louis eat cake was fantastic.

 

“Alright. See you around, mate!” Harry says and begins to walk away. It was awkward that he had carried the whole conversation so Liam finally says: “Go on without me. I’ll meet you there in a minute.”

 

Harry gives him a suspicious look but then nods and disappears.

 

“How have you been?” Liam asks, now that he’s standing alone with Louis in a hallway. They had exchanged smiles throughout the week but other than that he hadn’t seen him since Friday night, after he had dropped him off at home.

 

“What do you think?” Louis says and looks up. The sadness is still lingering in his eyes and Liam has a feeling it’s not going to go away in the next few days either. Louis chews on his gum and looks away. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. I’m fine, I think. I’m more angry than sad. It’s not like I’m heartbroken or anything. We’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks. But it just sucks when you trust someone and think you could fall for them and then they punch you in the face. Well, I wasn’t the one he literally punched but you know what I mean.”

 

“Yeah, of course.” Liam nods. “He’s a total knob head for treating you like garbage, you know that, right?”

 

Louis laughs a little and sighs. “Yeah, I know.”

 

Jesus, even the way he was chewing his gum makes Liam all weird inside.

 

“I’m over him already, to be honest. I’ll just be careful from now on,” Louis says. “I spent one day crying over him and that’s enough. Now I know better.”

 

Liam keeps nodding because he doesn’t know what to respond to that. He’s amazed at how mature Louis is acting all of a sudden and it’s definitely a good thing that he’s moving on fast. No need to cry over a shitty ex boyfriend.

 

“Hey, do you… maybe wanna hang out some time?” Louis asks all of a sudden. Liam’s heart is jumping out of his body in response. His brain has apparently left too because he can’t come up with an answer that does not involve a kiss or fainting.

 

“I know what it sounds like because we’ve had… some weird moments in the last months. I don’t wanna creep you out and hold your hand again or anything. I truly think I’m off better alone. But I genuinely wanna hang out with you. You’ve been pretty amazing lately and you’ve witnessed so much that’s going on in my life. And I can’t really talk to anyone about it and not in the way we can, I think. Does that make sense? Bloody hell, I’m rambling, aren’t I? Well my point is. Can I take you out for some fish and chips, since you drove me home last weekend and I never really thanked you for that?”

 

Louis was ranting long enough for Liam to catch his breath. He had a bit of trouble following everything that was said but he manages to nod, so that’s good. “You don’t owe me but I’ll take you up on those fish and chips.”

 

Louis smiles. Finally. His happy face is back.

 

“Actually, no,” Liam says and there goes Louis grin. “I hate seafood. I mean. Can we make it movie night?”

 

Louis looks a little confused but then he starts laughing.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m an idiot,” Liam says and then laughs with him. “My answer is yes.”

 

* * *

 

 

Liam was happy when Niall asked him to go shopping with him as it was going to distract him from spending all day worrying about his upcoming ‘hanging out’ with Louis.

 

“What exactly are you trying to find for Harry?” Liam asks as they walk through a clothing store. “A scarf?”

 

Niall laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t quite now, to be honest. But I would like to find something to make him all weird. Something that surprises him.”

 

“Well, a one month anniversary is definitely a huge deal so you best bring out the big guns!” Liam says and holds up a hideous t-shirt with glitter applications on it.

 

“That’s not really him, is it?” Niall asks, thinking Liam was being serious. “Oh, it’s a joke. I get it. You should help me! Stop being so negative.”

 

“I’m not being negative. In fact, I am extremely supportive of you guys in case you haven’t noticed.”

 

“Don’t you have your own date coming up soon?” Niall asks suspiciously and inspects a few more tops hanging on a rack.

 

“It’s not a date, Niall,” Liam answers promptly. “And it’s tonight. We simply hang out. As friends.”

 

Niall just looks up, lets out a short laugh and keeps looking for the perfect gift.

 

“What’s so funny? We’ve never been friends before but maybe we’ll get along?” Liam asks and follows Niall around.

 

“Get along? I think you were past that stage when you started holding hands in the moonlight,” Niall laughs and exits the store. Liam follows him and sighs.

 

“This is such a mess, isn’t it?”

 

“Just play it cool. If he likes you, you’ll know. Louis won’t be shy about it.”

 

“He has been so far. At least up until he started dating that Zayn,” Liam rolls his eyes. He still gets a minor panic attack every time he hears or has to say that name. Zayn’s worse than spoons.

 

“Liam, they’ve dated for a few weeks and have been broken up for almost the same amount of time at this point. It’s not like they were married. Don’t worry too much, really,” Niall reassures him and smiles. “You’re a funny, nice bloke. You’re so much more than that tosser Zayn.”

 

“I’m not funny. I usually can’t come up with good responses until I’m in bed later that night. And nice only gets you so far… But you’re right. I’m not going to throw myself a pity party,” Liam says and drags Niall into another shop. “Let’s go in here.”

 

“Louis is funny and loud enough for both of you. You really think he needs someone like him? Think about it,” Niall mentions and starts going through the aisles of DVDs around them. “What kind of movies does Harry like?”

 

“You don’t know?”

 

“Well, we mostly start snogging the moment the movie starts so we usually don’t care what we’re watching…”

 

“Jesus.”

 

“I guess action movies are his thing?”

 

“If you have to guess what kind of movies he likes, maybe you should think about getting to know your boyfriend instead of showering with gifts?”

 

Niall rolls his eyes. “Stop being so overly romantic. Does Louis know what your favorite movie is?”

 

Liam frowns. “No he doesn’t. But we’re also not dating and celebrating our four-week anniversary.”

 

They both start laughing at that point and Niall keeps picking out random DVDs. Liam gives up on handing out advice and catches himself thinking about what movies Louis would like.

 

“Please mate, you have to help me out here. What’s his favorite movie?”

 

“He already owns his favorite movie.”

 

“That’s not why I’m asking. I’ll cook for him and then pop the DVD in. And while we’re watching the movie there’s going toe be some sweet, sweet-“

 

Liam can guess where this is going and decides he doesn’t want to hear about their intimate endeavors. “Love, Actually.”

 

“Cheers mate!” Niall exclaims and puts on a big grin.  “Oh, um… Louis really wants a pet monkey.”

 

“What?” Liam asks, not knowing what to do with this information.

 

“Well you helped me out so now I’m helping you out.” Niall grins even wider, pats Liam on his shoulder and walks away.

 

What an honor to have such great friends.

 

* * *

 

 

Liam doesn’t live for away from Louis, so he decides to walk the short walk to his house by foot. His heart is racing fast and he’s very, very nervous but he takes a few deep breaths and tries to remember what he thought about after talking to Niall.

 

He definitely has a crush on Louis, that’s for sure. He doesn’t know him overly well but he has all sorts of butterflies in his stomach and the fact that he’s already cried so much over that boy is hard to ignore. But – and that’s the big but – he really doesn’t want to screw this up. Liam knows that Louis has anything but boys on his mind right now. He’s not ready and even if they should hypothetically have a shot in the future at some point… right now Louis wants a friend, and Liam is fine with that. He truly wants to know more about Louis and have a nice evening together. That’s what matters tonight and Liam shouldn’t push it by having his expectations go through the roof.

 

Yes, it would be brilliant if Louis decided to forget all about Zayn and his broken heart tonight and just kiss him but the chances are very, very small. So he takes a few more breaths, holds on to his candy that he brought with him and marches up the last few meters before he arrives at Louis’ house.

 

“Hi.”

 

“Hi.”

 

Louis opened the door with a huge smile on his face and now they are both just awkwardly standing in the doorway. Liam knows he’s grinning back like a bloody idiot but he doesn’t care.

 

“You came. And right on time,” Louis says and opens the door a little more. “I’m sorry, come in!”

 

Liam enters and follows Louis as he leads him right up the stairs into his room.

 

“I know I should have brought you a chimpanzee-,” Liam beings when Louis turns around at looks at him confused.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Niall said you would… Ugh, nevermind. Are your parents home?” Liam asks and hopes he doesn’t sound like he wants to do something dirty.

 

Louis shakes his head. “No, everyone’s out. But my mum should be back soon with my sisters. You’ll hear them get ready for bed soon; it’s almost past their bedtime. But I told everyone that I had a friend over so it’s just the two of us up here.” He adds another shy grin at the end and Liam takes a look around.

 

Louis’ room is just as chaotic as he had imagined and very, well… _Louis_. He finds pictures of little Lou on the walls and plenty of football medals and trophies. That explains why he’s such an animal on the field. “Wow, that’s a lot of trophies.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve always loved football,” Louis says and shrugs. Wow, modest. Who would have thought? “Nobody could ever beat me, but… You know. You see me out there. I’m just that good.” Liam rolls his eyes but can’t help but laugh a little.

 

“How many sisters do you have?”

 

“A lot. You?” Louis shoots back as if it was a standoff. “Is this an interview?”

 

“Two. And no, I’m just trying to learn more about you. I hope you didn’t call me over to be quiet all night. Doesn’t seem like you.”

 

“Fair enough,” Louis says. “And I guess I should take advantage if you’re in a chatty mood.”

 

“I’m always in a chatty mood. I just don’t blurt out things like some people do…”

 

“Is that a dig at me, Payno? Weak…,” Louis laughs and walks over to his table. “Want some tea?”

 

“Yes, please,” Liam says and follows him. Louis’ room is bigger than his own. Not only can he fit a huge bed, closet and a drawer in there, he has a whole second area with a desk, a big TV and a couch. “Why is your room so ginormous?”

 

Louis lets out a laugh. “My sisters all have to share rooms and I probably won’t stay here for much longer but it was my old room when I was a kid and since I’m the oldest… I get what I deserve.”

 

It was nice to see old Louis back, with his stupid jokes and infatuation with himself, even though Liam would’ve never thought he’d say that.  But after seeing him broken and worn out in the hospital that night, this version of Louis right now is so much more enjoyable.

 

“What?”

 

“Oh, sorry, I was just thinking…”

 

“You’re always thinking. What do you have to think about, Liam?” Louis asks with a grin on his lips and hands him a cup of tea. He poured it out of a pot he kept on his table, neatly kept warm by a little tealight. What is this place?

 

“Just… It’s good seeing you happy again. You know, after all that’s happened.”

 

“Way to bring down the conversation,” Louis says and sips on his tea. Liam hadn’t meant to aim for this topic after just a couple of minutes and could punch himself right now. “What makes you think I am happy anyway?”

 

Well this night was off to a great start, Liam thinks and tries to find the right words to bring this conversation back around. He loved Louis’ smile and didn’t want it to disappear.

 

“It was a joke,” Louis says and slaps Liam on the shoulder. “Jeez, relax. It’s all good. Come, let’s sit over here.” He directs them both over to the sofa and Liam is a little bit lost for words. Sometimes it was hard to keep up with Louis but then again he’s always had trouble understanding people’s jokes as he always takes them too seriously.

 

“And just for the record, I am happy. I’m happy because you’re here and finally something’s not weird or stupid in my life,” Louis says as they sit down. “And now, pick a movie to watch.”

 

Liam sinks into the soft pillows and relaxes a little. He hasn’t noticed how tense he was up until now but the warm tea and the nice cushions were making him feel more and more at ease. Oh and Louis’ company was brilliant too.

 

“Are you never gonna speak again?” Louis suddenly asks and frowns at him. Bloody hell, conversation! How hard can it be? “Fine. We’ll watch Batman.”

 

Liam nods and suddenly jumps up. “Oh, I brought candy!” He walks back to the drawer by the door because that’s where he put his little gift before. As he walks to the sofa gain, Louis is putting the DVD in and laughs.

 

They both get comfortable again; Liam on one side and Louis on the other.

  
“Here,” Liam says and hands over his bag.

 

“For me? Oh how generous of you,” Louis says more dramatically than necessary and Liam laughs. “What a precious gift.”

 

“I hope you like sour. I love it.”

 

“S’my favorite,” Louis says with a mouth full of candy.

 

“I’m glad. And Batman is _my_ favorite, by the way.”

 

Liam is relieved and starts watching the movie, even though it’s hard to pay attention to it with Louis shifting around next to him. Whenever there’s an exciting scene (and it’s Batman for Christ’s sake! There’s a lot of excitement), Louis shuffles around and makes funny sounds. Liam could spend forever just sitting there and watching him.  

 

Time goes by way too quickly and before he knows it, the movie is over.

 

“Did you like it?” Louis asks and gets up to get some more tea.

 

“Absolutely. It’s one of my favorite movies.”

 

“I thought so. That’s why I picked it.”

 

“You make good calls, Louis. I have to say,” Liam thankfully accepts his refill. “I’m impressed.”

 

“You have seen nothing, Li.”

 

“Li?”

 

Louis laughs out loud. “It just came to me. Has no one ever called you Li before? It’s a very obvious choice.”

 

“No,” Liam shakes his head. “But I like it.” The truth of the matter is, he only likes it because Louis came up with it. And fair enough, some other people have said it before but it never stuck. But now it can stick; Liam wouldn’t mind.

 

“I want one too,” Louis whines. “Come up with a nickname for me.”

 

Liam laughs. “That’s not how it works, Lou!” Oh, well apparently it is.

 

“Lou? That’s about the same level of creativity so I’d call it even,” Louis says and sits down next to Liam again. “Lou. That’s alright, I’ll take it.”

 

For a moment they both don’t say anything. Batman’s credits are over and the colorful DVD menu is playing in a loop. Liam does not want to go home yet but he doesn’t feel comfortable suggesting another movie either. What time was it anyway? He just got here, he can’t leave already. He should stay for another… ten, seventy years or so.

 

“You don’t have to worry about me all the time, you know?”

 

Liam looks up and finds Louis surprisingly contemplative all of a sudden. It takes him a second to realize that now apparently it was time for serious talk. It’s like Louis flipped a switch in his head.

  
“What do you mean?”

 

“The others told me that you kept asking about me. You know, after everything that happened that night.”

 

“Oh,” Liam sat up. “Yeah. I was worried about you and Harry too. It was a rough night.”

 

“That’s really nice. You’re really, really nice,” Louis says and still doesn’t look at Liam directly. “The other boys on the team don’t do that. They don’t ask how I am. I guess it’s just not something we do.”

 

“It’s something I do.” And that is the truth. Liam has always cared about people, not just his friends. Of course he initially wanted to know if Louis and Zayn were broken up for good but he was also worried about Louis after he had been treated so badly. He can’t help it really; it’s an instinct.

 

Louis looks at him and smiles gently. “You don’t have to anymore. I’m fine. Zayn’s a twat but I’m happy being alone right now. It’s for the best.”

 

Liam could hear the bitterness in Louis’ voice. He’s sure that Louis _doesn’t_ want to be alone but his fear of getting hurt is bigger now. But Liam can respect that. If he were Louis, he’d stay away from boys as well. No reason to get yourself into the next heartbreaking situation.

 

“Okay,” Liam says. “Okay.”

 

Louis got up and was now putting a new DVD in. “Are you ok with a little less action and a little more… drama? I’m somehow in the mood,” he says, looking over to Liam on the sofa.

 

Liam just nods. He honestly doesn’t even care what movie they are watching and if Louis feels comfortable enough around him to watch something more intense – even better. He pops the DVD in and walks back over to the sofa.

 

Liam has stretched out, which made Louis laugh at him. “Come on, king of the couch, make some room.”

 

Instinctively Liam spreads out his arms and doesn’t move one bit. Their friendship has been rather untypical from the very beginning, so why not risk it now and do something he normally wouldn’t do? He feels comfortable around Louis and Louis seems to feel the same. It’s nice to have someone to be… _this_ with. Whatever this is. Not having to be cool or distant or crack a joke all the time. Just be. Care. Liam liked caring.

 

Louis mushes his eyebrows together and tilts his head. “Are you… sure?”

 

Liam can’t help but laugh. “Just come here. We won’t have to talk about it. No questions asked.” Something just tells him that Louis would feel much better if he curled up with him right now. For whatever reason it feels like the right thing to do now and the more Liam thinks about it, the more he wants it. “Promise.”

 

Wordlessly Louis climbs on top of Liam, a little awkward a first but once he lies down on top of Liam’s chest it feels perfect to both of them. Louis rests his head on one arm and focuses on the movie, all wrapped up in Liam’s arms. Liam smiles down at Louis, even though he can’t see much besides his hair. He closes his arms around Louis’ body and embraces the silence between them.

 

Neither of them dares to move much during the movie apart from the occasional limb-shake when it gets too itchy. Liam tries to give Louis enough opportunities to get more comfortable or sit up again but Louis seems to be as content as Liam had hoped. After an hour, Liam could do without the weight on his body but then he’d be without Louis’ amazing scent and without touching him, so he drops the thought of moving.

 

“Are you still comfortable?” Louis asks, as if he can read his mind. He lifts his head up and puts his chin on Liam’s chest, looking him directly in the eyes.

 

“Yeah. Are you?”

 

Louis nods back and forth, leaving a tingling feeling on the point where his chin moves. “Very.”

 

“Good. Then stay,” Liam says and squeezes him tightly with his arms.

 

“It’s nice. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”

 

“I hope _you_ don’t think it’s weird”, Liam gives back.

 

“If we’re both okay with it I guess…,” Louis says and continues to watch the movie. “I guess then it’s okay.”

 

Liam feels Louis laugh because his whole body shakes and runs his hand through Louis’ hair. Something about this just feels so intuitively good; it’s hard to explain. It’s a good feeling and Liam is incredibly happy.

 

By the time they finish the movie it’s after midnight. It’s pitch-black dark out but Louis had drawn the blinds before anyway. The room was sparsely illuminated by the television; white letters of the credits rolling over black background.

 

Again, Louis lifts his head up and just looks at Liam. The sound of some orchestral music from the DVD is playing quietly in the background as Louis had turned it down a little once the movie was over. Liam looks back at Louis, trying to figure out what he was trying to convey. He had already pushed his luck with the cuddling and luckily Louis responded to it. But Louis had also made it very clear that he wanted his space right now and it wasn’t really Liam’s place to barge in…. Oh, what the hell.

 

“I think you’re lonely,” Liam suddenly starts. “And you let Zayn in cause you wanted to be taken care of. Hell, I’m lonely too. I get it. But shutting yourself off now isn’t the right way to go about it and I already let my one shot at you slip in the past, I’d be stupid to do it again,” Liam lets everything off of his chest and remembers his birthday, where he was too ignorant and surprised to appreciate Louis’ closeness. This wasn’t that time again so he took all his courage and spoke up. “I’m sorry if this is uncalled for but that arsehole is not worth crying over for more than one day and just because he hurt you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust anybody ever again. There are people out there that wanna take care of you at night, when you’ve spent all day cracking jokes and teasing people. Where you can return to and feel safe. And I don’t want _him_ to ruin that for you.”

 

Louis looks at him the whole time without moving a muscle, just taking in what Liam tells him. It scares Liam, because any reaction would have been great at this point.

 

“I just felt like you had given up after this one stupid thing and,” Liam concludes. “You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t give up.”

 

He softly rubs his thumb over whatever part of Louis’ torso his hands are resting on and swallows, signifying the end of his little speech. It was Louis’ turn now. Liam knows that he’s not completely off with his assumptions; what he’s worried about is that he’s in no position to give his opinion like that, not after knowing Louis only for a few months effectively. But then again here they were, lying in each other’s arms, so clearly drawn borders aren’t really their thing anyway. They haven’t been to begin with.

 

Louis finally moves forward, presses his lips against Liam and closes his eyes. No matter the surroundings and the build-up – Liam is still completely taken by surprise and needs a moment before he leans into the kiss. He’s thought a lot about kissing Louis lately but up until ten seconds ago he’d never thought it could happen, especially not so soon.

 

Louis’ lips feel soft and warm and Liam moves his arms along Louis body. Louis is shifting in the embrace; climbing up inch by inch until his face is on the same level as Liam’s. Their lips don’t really part for long and kissing seems much easier than talking right now. They suck on each other’s lips, exploring more and more of the other. Louis sinks his hand in Liam’s hair and Liam softly puts his hand on the side of Louis’ face. His skin is warm and so incredibly soft; Liam can feel his fingertips tingle.

 

As the seconds go by, Liam feels his body heat up. There’s something exploding inside of him and a rush of blood to his head. He’s felt giggly and butterflies-in-his-stomach before when he encountered Louis, but this was ten times more. He can barely put a solid thought together in his head and most parts of his body feel like he’s lost control over them. After a few more seconds, a minute maybe, Liam gets his feelings under control and starts moving. He takes Louis and shoves him down on the sofa, crawling on top of him. He puts his hands on each side of Louis’ head and kisses down on him.

 

Louis has the most infectious smile on his face as his hands move along Liam’s body. He periodically raises his head to go after Liam’s lips when he pulls back a little. It’s like a game and Liam would’ve never thought he would enjoy playing this. He’s pretty sure Louis would have a lot of acerbic remarks if he saw somebody else doing it. But this was their moment and there was nobody else. They had both dropped their attitudes and different faces they put on during the day at the door. This was real; without having to be strong, cool, funny or reserved. It was Liam and Louis – raw and honest.

 

“I don’t know if I-,” Liam begins as Louis suddenly puts his hand on his dick.

 

“It’s okay. I just wanna tease,” Louis smiles and keeps occasionally touching the big bulge in Liam’s pants. He gets Liam to take off his shirt and as one thing leads to another they’re both in nothing but their boxers on the sofa. Louis is still on his back with Liam on top of him. “I’m not gonna make you do anything. I just wanna feel your skin.”

 

Liam nods and lies down on Louis. As they press their bodies together – and even though they don’t mention it, clearly their erections are touching too – they both let out a little whimper. Liam puts is head down next to Louis and kisses his neck. Louis has his one arm wrapped around his hip, the other one is moving upwards. His hand grabs Liam’s head and holds him right there. They’re locked together, eyes closed.

 

Liam must have dozed off, because when he wakes up it’s completely dark. The TV had apparently shut down automatically after a while and Louis was breathing slowly, soft asleep. It takes Liam a minute to get used to this. He’s still wrapped in Louis’ arms, their naked bodies close together. He moves a little bit, but Louis doesn’t seem to notice. Slowly he slips out from his hug and stands up. Louis doesn’t wake up although he moves to his side now.

 

Liam sighs and throws on his pants and shirt. He can barely see in the dark but there’s enough light to navigate through Louis’ room. Once he’s dressed again he goes back to Louis’s side and looks down on him. He looks peaceful and innocent and his features are soft.  He looks beautiful, Liam thinks. He can’t stop staring and exploring Louis’ body – now with his eyes instead of his hands and tongue.

 

He suddenly thinks of covering Louis up, now that he’s missing his body heat. He finds a blanket and carefully places it over Louis body. Then he sits down next to him on the couch and looks at him again.

 

Liam thinks about staying and his whole body is screaming NO at the thought of leaving, but he doesn’t want to complicate things. He doesn’t want Louis to wake up and act weird or awkward. Liam wants to remember this moment for the rest of his life in all its perfectness. They are going to have to talk about it eventually and there’s probably going to be a lot of avoiding and silent stares at school first. Liam sighs.

 

But as far as right now goes… everything’s perfect. It’s not weird yet; it’s just amazing. He can go home, close his eyes and fall asleep, thinking of Louis next to him. Thinking of his scent, his warm and soft skin. Thinking of how much he’s falling for the boy, day by day.

 

He leans over and places a subtle but long kiss on Louis’ cheek. “Love you, Lou.”

 

Then he leaves.

 

* * *

 

 

The cold November air makes Liam pull his hat in a little more as he walks through the streets with Harry and Eleanor a week later. It was snowing lightly and the sun hadn’t been out in days. A typical gloomy day this time of the year.

 

All three of them were dressed in coats and scarfs and hats and boots, trying to brave the weather.

 

“Bloody snow,” Harry mumbles under his breath, walking in the middle.

 

“It’s romantic,” Eleanor says and smiles. “At least until all the snow melts and we have mud everywhere.”

 

“I could do without it, yeah,” Liam adds. “But Christmas is just around the corner. Just a little over a month and we’re on a break from school and get showered in gifts.”

 

“Yeah, the one good thing about winter,” Harry says.

 

“Maybe we should take the bus for the next couple of weeks, what do you think lads? It’s getting really annoying walking to and back from school everyday,” Eleanor suggests, trying to shake the snow out of her hair.

 

Obviously she was right but so far none of them had made the clever suggestion. They’d still meet up after school to walk home together, at least when they were off at the same time.

 

“You think?” Liam says and they laugh. “To be honest, I don’t mind it as long as it’s not windy. But today it’s bloody frustrating.”

 

“Let’s brave tomorrow and then after the weekend we can take the bus.”

 

“You just hate public transportation,” Eleanor says, stating the obvious.

 

“It’s gross.”

 

“You can’t really say that with your hair,” Liam says, shocked at how something like that came out of his mouth.

 

“Excuse me?” Harry says, overly offended. “You need to stop hanging out with Louis. His attitude is not a good look on you.”

 

Eleanor chuckles and looks over.

 

“We hung out once. I doubt his attitude influences me, Haz.”

 

“I hear it was successful?” Eleanor says and smiles knowingly.

 

“Did you shag?” Harry asks with no shame. Liam just sighs and tries to see where he’s going. He’s been very shy talking about his meet-up with Louis so far and his friends clearly want some details.

 

“That means yes, right?” Harry looks at Eleanor. “Right?”

 

Eleanor laughs. “I wish I knew but for the first time in his life Louis has decided to not share something.”

 

Damn it. Liam had hoped to find out what Louis was thinking after their night from Eleanor. But apparently he hadn’t spilled the beans so Liam was still in the dark. Louis had texted him _did u get home ok?!_ the next morning and Liam said _yeah, had a grt time thaaaanks 4 evrything,_ which admittedly was a stupid response but he was under pressure. _Thanks for making out and lounging on your sofa_ just didn’t sound right. What does _everything_ even mean?

 

“He’s such a blabbermouth usually. I mean I knew that this one wouldn’t talk,” Harry side-eyes Liam. “But I was hoping you could share some details from Louis.”

 

“Must have been one hell of a night,” Eleanor agrees and they both laugh hysterically.

 

“You can let it go, yeah?” Liam says, purposefully not laughing. “It was nice, but-“

 

“But you haven't spoken since, let me guess?” Harry finishes the sentence with a remarkable accuracy.

 

“It’s not even been a week. Do we have to hang out every night? Stop pushing. Stop trying to make this happen.”

 

“Liam, relax,” Eleanor says and sends him a soft smile. “We’re just teasing because we think it’s cute. We’re not trying to make anything happen but you can’t deny there’s something between you guys.”

 

“Did he say anything?”

 

“I’m not getting involved, you have to figure it out yourself.”

 

“Now’s the point you decide not to get involved?” Liam almost yells and rolls his eyes. “Did you say anything to him? I mean after we… talked.”

 

Harry just looks confused since Liam never mentioned his breakdown he had half in front of Eleanor, half in a doorway not far from here.

 

“No, like I said, I’m not getting involved. I offer advice but if you have something to say to each other you should do it yourself, is all I’m saying.”

 

Eleanor smiles again and with that they drop the topic.

 

* * *

 

 

The following Friday night, Harry comes over to Liam’s to drink a few beers before going out. Liam has finally agreed to join him and a few others from school and he’s not even dreading it. Every once in a while going out could be fun, as long as he kept the alcohol consumption in check. Before Harry got to his place, Liam spent an hour thinking about textin Louis. He was curious if he was going to be there tonight as well. Eventually he sent out a text saying _u coming 2nite? wud be nice to c u xx_ in his typical, bad spelling. 90% of the time he went back and forth between deleting and then adding the “xx” again but finally decided on sending those virtual kisses. What a time to be alive!

 

“This is the first night in weeks we are all going out proper,” Harry says as he sits down on Liam’s chair ten minutes later. Liam is sitting on the bed, opening two beers for them.

 

“Yeah, I know,” he says. “But can you blame anyone for not wanting to party after the last time?”

 

“Most people don’t even know what happened.”

 

“Well I stopped showing up and I know Louis took a break, which means Eleanor and Jesy went somewhere else. And I’m sure Zayn and his crew stayed away too.”

 

“Ugh, don’t mention that twat,” Harry sighs and takes a sip. 

 

“Did you ever settle your argument?”

 

“Our argument? You mean when he punched me in the face?”

 

Liam shrugs. He was tired of approaching that topic but he still doesn’t know what ever happened and Harry would be very vague about it every time he asked.

 

“You really wanna know what happened?”

 

“Yes, Harry!” Liam exclaims. “Obviously I do.”

 

“Fine,” Harry says and Liam can hardly believe it. “Maybe you should know. In case we run into him tonight.”

 

Liam nods and doesn’t dare to speak. He wants Harry to talk before he could change his mind. He gets comfortable on the bed, takes another sip and then just listens.

 

“So, that night, I was outside for some reason. Probably to get some air, cause it was really hot inside and I was bloody, bloody drunk.”

 

“I remember.”

 

“Yeah. So I’m standing there, leaning against the wall to keep my balance, when I see Zayn. He’s with a couple of other blokes but he seems me and walks over, cigarette hanging from his lips. I mean, you know his smug face, I don’t have to talk about it.”

 

Liam nods and drowns his anger in three more angry gulps.

 

“So we talk, and we hadn’t talked in a year at that point… It was a little weird but all of a sudden I could just feel that tension again. The tension that we had over the summer.”

 

“What tension?”

 

“Sexual tension…”

 

“Haz,” Liam says warningly, as if it wasn’t too late now anyway.

 

“Well, long story short…” he sighs and puts his head in his hands. “I kiss him.”

 

It takes Liam a second to process this information before he widens his eyes and opens his mouth. “What?!”

 

“I know,” Harry simply says, still hiding his face. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

 

“You kissed Zayn? What about Niall?!” Liam is almost shouting at this point. He moves to the edge of his bed and stares at Harry with horror. “Are you messing with me?”

 

“I wish. I didn’t think anything, Liam. I was drunk out of my mind and there was just something about him that reminded me of the summer before and… I don’t know. It just happened. It was stupid and I regretted it the moment it happened.”

 

Liam is shaking his head while Harry talks. He can’t believe his best friend right now. He’s not the kind of guy to cheat or randomly snog people. Especially not after he’s chased after Niall for so long.

 

“Eventually I say ‘fuck, what about Louis? What about Niall?’ and he just says ‘fuck Louis’. That’s when it hit me. He didn’t give two shits about the guy he was with but I was ready to throw up, thinking about Niall. And not because I was drunk but because I felt terribly guilty. So naturally, I pulled away.”

 

“Well if you felt so guilty, you shouldn’t have done it in the first place,” Liam says and shakes his head. Harry’s his friend but right now he’s very confused and upset about him. “I can’t believe you did that, Harry.”

 

Harry just closes his eyes again.

 

“Does he know?” Liam asks.

 

Harry shakes his head.

 

“Are you going to tell him?”

 

Harry looks at Liam and shrugs. “I want to be honest with him but… I don’t know if he’s gonna leave me. I don’t want him to leave me.”

 

Liam rolls his eyes. “You know what I’m going to say.”

 

“Yeah, I should have thought about that before I kissed Zayn. But I didn’t, so there.”

 

Liam pinches the bridge of his nose and waits a minute before he says: “So what happened next? Why did he beat you up?”

 

“Because I stopped. I pulled away and he pulled me back. So I pulled away some more and it became more and more violent. At some point he yelled ‘don’t fuck with me, Styles’ and ‘don’t play me’ but I was already drifting off. My memory stops at that point. I just remember Louis’ face a couple of times and then you and some lights.”

 

Liam lets himself fall backwards onto his bed. This can’t be true. All of this just sounds so unreal and unlike Harry. Now that he knows the truth he wishes Harry would have just kept his mouth shut.

 

“I don’t know if he thought that was my attempt at getting together or something… I wasn’t playing him or fucking with him. It was just a spur of the moment thing. I don’t know what he was thinking.”

 

“Sounds like he has some unresolved feelings for you,” Liam says, staring at his ceiling. He can’t imagine right now why Zayn would have any kind of feelings for Harry, not when he turns out to be different from what he thought he was. “Fuck… Louis.”

 

He sits up again with a sad look on his face. “Louis was just a toy for him this whole fucking time.”

 

Harry nods miserably in agreement. “Yeah. When I realized that I was so repulsed by Zayn and… that’s when he punched me.”

 

“You’re not any better though, let’s be honest,” Liam says back, harshly. “Look. I’m your friend, I’m sorry. But… I’m just learning this about you and I can’t help but feel… disappointed. Utterly disappointed. You’re such a good mate and you care about people. I just never thought you’d do something like that to anyone, especially not Niall.”

 

Harry looks like he’s about to cry. He’s all small and tiny in the chair now, looking up at Liam from below.

 

“Are you gonna throw me under the bus in the spur of the moment too?”

 

“Liam…,” Harry says, almost whispering. “I’m not a cheater or a traitor. I was drunk, I didn’t think. It doesn’t change how I feel about Niall. And it certainly doesn’t translate to you or anyone else.”

 

“If that’s how you treat people-“

 

“It’s not, yeah. And you know it. You know me. You’ve known me for years. I made one awful mistake. But that doesn’t dictate how I am or who I am. Please…”

 

Harry gets up and sits down next to Liam.

 

“I’ve beat myself up countless times ever since, don’t look at me like that. Don’t look so disappointed, please.”

 

“You should beat yourself up. Niall is going out of his way to make you happy. He’s so in love, it’s sickening. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

 

“I agree,” Harry says, turning to Liam. Liam keeps his focus to something straight ahead of him. “He doesn’t deserve me. He never has but somehow he chose me and I consider myself to be so, so lucky. Now, more than ever. But that night, I just… I just smelled the danger on Zayn. I wanted something unreliable. I wasn’t looking for something right, I was looking for something wrong.”

 

“What does that mean? Is Niall boring you?”

 

Harry sighs and Liam turns around to face him now.

 

“What is it? Is Niall too nice for you? Not wild enough? Does he treat you too right?”

 

“Stop, Liam!” Harry shouts all of a sudden.

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t see your problem! I’m sitting here, every day, trying so hard to find a boy that’s good to me and not an asshole and.. It just doesn’t work out, no matter what I do. We kissed, Harry. Okay? That’s what happened. Me and Louis kissed. And still, we don’t get our shit together and nothing happens. It just doesn’t work and it’s so frustrating. And you have this amazing bloke who gives you all you could ever ask for. And what? You take it for granted?”

 

“It’s not like that!”

 

“Then what is it?” Liam asks with a sense of desperation in his voice. They are both yelling at each other at this point. Harry’s confession has quickly turned into a heated debate. It is hard for Liam to comprehend what Harry is saying, what he was thinking. He’s been longing after Louis for months now and for some reason it’s still not happening and Harry is lucky enough to find a great guy and he just throws it all away for a quick snog with a bad boy. It didn’t make sense to Liam. He knows that Harry’s not a bad person and even though alcohol is no excuse, it’s sometimes hard to control yourself when you’re wasted. But kissing Zayn, out of all people, when Harry’s with Niall, out of all people… That’s not right in any world.

 

Harry doesn’t respond and simply hangs his head again. “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I love Niall, I really do. And I don’t want Zayn. But it’s more about the two worlds they both represent and I… I just don’t know where I belong.”

                        

Liam looks at him and tries to calm himself down.

 

“Just… Don’t be disappointed, Liam. Be my friend, please.” He looks at him with his puppy eyes and Liam tries to shake away his anger towards Harry. He is still his friend, of course.

 

“Well,” he begins. “You have to figure out what world you want to belong to. Do you want something wild that messes with you and you have that constant thrill? Or do you want a hero, that’s there for you and loves you unconditionally? You can figure that out, that’s okay. But you can’t get Niall hurt in the process. It’s fine to figure yourself out and see what you want - everybody has to - but Niall shouldn’t be collateral.”

 

Harry nods.

 

“I guess you’re right,” he says with a much more calm voice than before.

 

“I don’t want you guys to break up. But if you feel like you need to figure out what you want, then you have to let him go. It’s not fair to him,” Liam concludes, trying to make sense of the whole situation and find peace.

 

“I know. I just needed to hear it from someone,” Harry says and smiles faintly at Liam. “Thank you. And thanks for only judging me for five minutes.”

 

“Well, you have what I want. It just drives me nuts that you’d throw that away.”

 

“We’re very different, Liam,” Harry says and nudges him in the side. “Guess it never works out for anyone, huh?”

 

Liam scoffs and downs the rest of his beer. “Are you not going to say anything about me and Louis kissing?”

 

Harry laughs. They both feel better now that the tension has dropped and the weight off of their shoulders is lifted. “Can’t believe you snogged him you little slut.”

 

“Wow. You say that to me after what you’ve just confessed to me?” Liam laughs. “It was very innocent and… right.”

 

Liam can feel his heartbeat increase just talking about it. Every night since last week he’s been thinking about kissing Louis and wrapping his arms around him again. He re-visited the memory of that night in his head every night, sometimes romantic, sometimes more naughty. But always full of Louis.

 

“It sounds like you’re both at that point where you need a push,” Harry says and smiles. He likes seeing his best mate in love. “Did you never discuss any feelings?”

 

Liam shakes his head. “No, not really. All I know is that he wants to be alone right now. Zayn fucked him over and he doesn’t trust himself or anyone really. I wouldn’t wanna get hurt again either if I were him.”

 

“Li, is that what you tell yourself? That’s bullshit. You would never hurt him. You’d treat him like a prince, let’s be real,” Harry says and opens up two more bottles of beer. “You are that kind of guy and he’s not blind. He has to see that.”

 

“I’ve been feeling lonely for quite some time now. And when I’m with him, I don’t feel that way anymore. And I know that Louis feels lonely too. I just don’t know if he liked being with _someone_ or if he liked being with _me._ ”

 

And that was the truth of the matter. Louis clearly liked being close and intimate but Liam wasn’t sure if Louis liked him or just the idea of being sheltered by anyone.

 

“He’d be stupid not wanting to be with you. You’re both looking for the same thing and you’ll find it with each other. Trust me. Give him some time and he’ll realize that.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Yeah!” Harry says and wraps his arm around Liam’s shoulder. “We’ll both figure this out. All of our messes. Okay?”

 

“Okay,” Liam laughs and they put both of their bottles together, resulting in a clinking sound.

 

* * *

 

 

Just as they’re about to leave the house, Liam’s phone vibrates. He stops in the middle of the stairs and looks at the screen; it’s Louis. _Not feeling it, sorry. Have fun._

 

Liam’s heart sinks a little. The one time he decides to go out again Louis is not coming. Of course. He just wants to see him again, whether it was going to be awkward or not. And the two beers had definitely helped to boost his confidence.

 

“Everything alright?” he hears Harry shout from downstairs.

 

“Yeah,” Liam says back and meets him by the door. “Louis’ not coming.”

 

Harry puts on a sorry face and brushes Liam’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. Come on, Jesy’s dad is waiting in the car. They’re all in there already.”

 

He opens up the door and steps outside. Immediately they’re hit by a wave of cold, wintery air. No matter how much they brace themselves for it, it’s always colder than expected.

 

Liam follows Harry and closes the door, when his phone beeps again. And again, it’s Louis. _Xx._

That’s it. Nothing more. Just a text containing two letters. Liam freezes and stares down on his phone. Had Louis just sat there for a minute and finally decided to send some kisses after his first text?

 

“Liam!” Harry yells, already sitting in the car. He gestures him to come inside and Liam can see his other friends waving from the car, although they look a little bit confused.

 

“Um…,” Liam screams. “You guys go ahead. I have something to do.”

 

Before one of the others can shout anything else from the car he runs off. He chases down the dark streets, snow flying into his face. He thinks he hears Harry yell his name a few more times but soon he’s far enough to not hear him anymore. The wind is howling and Liam thinks his ears might fall off.

 

Louis sent kisses. And not just as a formality. He added them specifically in a second try. What the hell?

 

After a few minutes he reaches Louis’ front porch. He’s a little out of breath from all the running and the freezing air but he doesn’t care. He rings the doorbell and turns his phone on silent, ignoring the calls from Harry. His body is shaking from the cold.

 

Louis’ mum opens the door.

 

“Hi! My name is Liam, I’m a friend of Louis’. Is he home?”

  
“Hello Liam. Yes, just give me a second,” she says with a friendly voice and goes back inside. She doesn’t shut the door completely so Liam can hear her call Louis’ name twice. After another 30 seconds, the door opens again and Louis steps out. He’s only wearing a light sweater and immediately wraps his arms around himself. The wind is blowing strongly around them, strewing snow in every direction.

 

“Liam? What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m here to get you.”

 

“I said I wasn’t gonna go tonight, I don’t feel too good,” Louis says and looks confused.

 

“I want you to come to the party, Lou,” Liam says as if it would clear anything up. “I want you to come to the party… _with me_.”

 

Louis still looks as confused as before and wrinkles his forehead.

 

“I really like you, you know?” Liam shouts so that Louis can hear him despite the wind. ”I like you so much that you consume all of my thoughts. I can’t stop thinking about kissing you and holding your hand and making you feel safe, Lou.”

 

Louis is just looking at him and Liam’s heart is beating extra fast right now, but it’s a good kind of nervous so he continues: “I’m tired of playing games or second-guessing everything, so I’m just gonna say it right out. I’m crazy about you. Absolutely batshit crazy. And no matter what I do, I can’t stop it. So here I am. Screaming at you in the middle of a snowstorm, begging you to come with me. Cause I don’t wanna be there if you’re not with me. In fact, I don’t wanna be _anywhere_ , if you’re not with me.”

 

Louis looks like he’s gonna fall apart. He’s clearly freezing and Liam’s little speech apparently made him lost for words.

 

“I wanna mysteriously hold hands on birthdays and protect you from all the Zayns in the world out there, so that nothing bad ever happens to you again. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours.”

 

Liam almost sounds like he’s begging and he’s still trying to catch his breath. He had to shout the whole time but now that he’s quiet he can focus on Louis’ face a little more clearly. Was he tearing up?

 

“What do you say, Lou?”

 

Finally, Louis smiles bigger and brighter than ever before and now it’s clearly noticeable that he’s smiling through a few tiny tears. He reaches out his hand and says: “Yes.”

 

Liam lets out a sigh of relief and walks up the short distance to Louis. He takes his hand and pulls him in. “Come here.”

 

They’re both smiling like idiots as they kiss. Liam wraps himself around Louis to keep him warm and holds him as tight as he can. Why should he ever let him go anyway? This feels too good to ever end.

 

Louis parts Liam’s lips with his tongue and deepens the kiss and they’re both losing themselves in it. It’s the moment they’ve both been waiting for, without even really knowing that they were most of the time.

 

When it gets too hard to ignore the cold, Louis says: “Let me go inside and get dressed. You still wanna go?”

 

Liam looks at him and softly wipes Louis’ hair out of his eyes. “Whatever you wanna do. We can stay if you want to?”

 

“I kinda wanna show you off,” Louis admits and drags Liam inside. “If that’s alright with you.”

  
“That’s very alright with me,” Liam grins and before they enter the house, they kiss once more.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Liam and Louis arrive at Funky Buddha most of their friends are fairly tipsy. It’s incredibly loud in the club and there are people all over the place shoving each other.

 

“I’ve never been here sober, this is weird,” Louis yells in Liam’s ear as he follows him through the crowd. He’s holding onto Liam’s hip as he navigates them. Louis’ mum was nice enough to drive them spontaneously and Louis is pretty sure that she was able to tell what was going on from their blushing faces. His mum has always been supportive of him no matter what so she thankfully didn’t say anything when they were giggling in the backseat on the ride over.

 

“Look who it is!” Niall screams from the bar and they walk over. “I thought I wouldn’t see you guys tonight!”

 

He hugs both of them and orders two more drinks.

 

“Yeah I wasn’t feeling well but Liam persuaded me to go, so…” Louis explains. “Can’t have a proper party without me anyway.”

 

Niall just laughs. His face is all red from the alcohol he’s been drinking but that just means he’s a giggly mess for the rest of the night. Liam can’t see Harry anywhere near and for a brief moment he remembers their conversation earlier. He looks at Niall again and his heart aches a little. He tries to get the image out of his head, how Niall’s happy smile would vanish if he found out about Harry and Zayn. It wasn’t his place to tell and he didn’t want his own mood to be soured. Harry would do the right thing, whatever that was. And besides, tonight something even bigger happened, he and Louis had become a _thing._

 

As Niall turns around to pay the bartender and receive his order, Liam leans over and whispers in Louis’ ear. “This might be a weird question but a thought just popped into my head… Are we like…. boyfriends now?”

 

Louis’ response is a big, loud laugh that makes Niall turn around.

 

“You’re such a girl, Liam,” Louis says and takes both drinks out of Niall’s hands. “I take it I can have yours?”

 

Liam wasn’t planning on drinking much more and Louis had a lot to catch up for a regular Friday night, so he nods. He’s a little miffed by Louis’ reaction. He knows that it’s a stupid question to ask but it would be nice to have a definite answer – just in case he was making up something in his head again. He gives Louis a faint smile and hopes that he can see the confusion in Liam’s face.

 

Louis pretty much chugs the first drink and puts the glass on the bar with a loud noise. “Ahhh. Thanks, Li. You’re a good boyfriend.”

 

Niall spits out most of his beer and Liam and Louis both turn to look at him. “Excuse me?”

 

“What?” Louis asks and puts on a stern face. “Do you have a problem with that? Are you homophobic?”

 

Liam suppresses a laugh because he knows for a fact that Niall is anything but homophobic, judging by all the snogging he had to witness from him and Harry over the last few months. Niall wipes his mouth on his sleeve and puts down his drink.

  
“Are you shitting me? You two?!” he exclaims rather happily. “I thought that would never happen! Cheers, I’ll drink to that!”

 

He raises his glass again and takes a big gulp. Louis turns around and smiles at Liam, who’s finally happy. Louis takes one step forward and plants a big kiss on Liam’s mouth and eventually lets his tongue slip in. Liam feels himself blush as Louis intensifies the kiss. He surely knows that Liam is blushing and that’s why he’s putting all this extra effort in. Bastard.

 

Liam can’t decide between hiding somewhere and showing the whole world that he has a brilliant boyfriend. When Harry all of a sudden tips him on the shoulder, he definitely wants to hide.

 

“Oh.”

 

“When did that happen?” He asks and grins. “I have a feeling we need to talk.”

 

Liam stares at his feet but Louis just grabs his hand and kisses him on the cheek. “I’ll go find El and the others. Come find me later?”

 

Liam nods and with another kiss Louis wanders off to the dancefloor.

 

“When you didn’t get into the car earlier I had a feeling, “ Harry begins and stands on the other side of him, so that him and Niall sandwich Liam. “But I didn’t expect this.”

 

“I just had a moment of courage and thought I’d risk it. Whining to you about Louis earlier made me realize that something needed to happen,” Liam explains and shakes the drink in his hand.

 

“Well, then I’m glad you made that change,” Harry says and looks at Niall. “What do you think?”

 

“I’m all for it,” Niall grins as usually. “As long as they don’t compete with us as cutest couple of all times.” He rushes over and gives Harry a big kiss before excusing himself to go to the bathroom.

 

Liam gives Harry a look but Harry just turns away. “Not now, Liam.”

 

“I didn’t say anything.”

 

“I know what you’re thinking and I don’t appreciate it.”

 

Before Harry can walk away, Liam grabs his shoulder and pulls him back. “Is he here?”

 

“Who? Zayn?” Harry looks at him incredulously. “Thankfully no. I haven’t seen him yet.”

 

“You realize this is a ticking time bomb,” Liam warns him and holds Harry still so he doesn’t evade him. “It’s a mess waiting to happen.”

 

“I know. I’ll handle it, but not tonight,” Harry says as he steps closer to Liam, almost uncomfortably close. “Don’t make me regret telling you.”

 

There’s no smile in Harry’s face as he pulls away. For a minute his eyes linger on Liam and then he disappears into the crowd.

 

* * *

 

 

Liam isn’t exactly sure what he was expecting now that he was with Louis but somehow… nothing had really changed. For the first few days he had that feeling in his stomach that his whole life was being turned upside down (and that was true as long as he was with Louis, kissing and touching). But unfortunately his everyday life continued as before: school was still annoying, his parents had their usual quarrels with him and the situation with Harry still had a bitter taste to it.

 

He’s not complaining by all means! At least he’s not being disrespected by his classmates or bullied on his way home. But the lack of impact feels weird.

 

It’s just his luck to be teamed up with Zayn in his English class the following week. They’re reading Shakespeare’s _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ and are put together in little groups to prepare individual scenes to present in front of the class. Liam is in a group with Zayn and – luckily – Perrie.

 

Liam lets out a long, big sigh when Perrie and Zayn come over to his table to discuss their project. Perrie seems friendly but Zayn doesn’t even acknowledge his presence. Out of his closer friends only Jesy and Niall are in this class with him and they are both in different groups.

 

“So, which scene did we get?” Liam starts.

 

“We have the one where Helena runs off into the woods, chasing Demetrius, who’s not really into her. When he escapes her, she finds Lysander and because of a love spell, he falls in love with her,” Perrie explains and they all look down on their work sheets.

 

“You’ll obviously play Helena since you’re the girl,” Zayn says without looking up and Perrie agrees.

 

“Which one of you wants to run away from me then and who wants to fall in love with me?”, she asks with a smile on her face.

 

Liam looks at Zayn, waiting for an answer but Zayn simply shrugs. “Whatever, I don’t care.”

 

“I’ll play Demetrius then,” Liam says because he doesn’t feel comfortable wooing Perrie and assumes it’s easier and less work to have her follow him and then leave the scene early.

 

“Sure,” Zayn says coldly. He hasn’t really moved at all since he sat down and Liam isn’t sure if the whole attitude is supposed to make him seem cool.

 

“We have to present a week from today. When are you guys free to meet up?”

 

* * *

 

 

They meet at Perries house three times before they feel confident and prepared to put on their little scene in the school’s auditorium.

 

The first time, Liam gets there a little early and helps Perrie move around the furniture in her room to re-create the forest, which was obviously not working really well since rooms usually don’t resemble forests.

 

“Is it going to be awkward for you?” Perrie asks as they both lift a table. “Working with Zayn?”

 

Liam shrugs. “Not necessarily. I mean he punched my best mate and dated my boyfriend, so…”

 

Perrie makes a face. “Right. Stupid question. Well I hope you guys can just be professional enough so our grades don’t suffer from it, that’s all I care about. And I’m sure you’re not looking for any trouble either.”

 

“Absolutely. I mean, I don’t really care. I feel like he’s being overly difficult,” Liam says and shrugs. He picks up his copy of the play from the table and begins leafing through the pages.

 

Perrie follows him and lays her eyes upon him. With a contemplative look on her face she says: “Well, it’s a difficult situation. Did Harry ever mention what exactly was going on? We’ve all been wondering.”

 

Liam shakes his head. He doesn’t want to tell on his best mate of course. Perrie, Jesy, Eleanor and the other girls have been very supportive of Louis and Liam dating so far and they were clearly on Harry’s side in the fight with Zayn. However, none of them know any details about what happened and none of them have really dared to ask.

 

“All I know is that Harry and Zayn know each other from before, so there’s some tension there. Obviously,” Liam decides to tell her.

 

“Not to be the devil’s advocate but from Zayn’s perspective I kind of understand where he’s coming from.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, both guys he dated or… was involved with are loyal to you. No wonder he’s been such a prick to you,” Perrie explains and walks over to him. He can tell from her face that she’s not trying to sound mean but was simply expressing her thoughts.

 

“Harry and me have been friends for years now. It’s Zayn’s own fault that they’re not talking. Harry didn’t wander off to me. Plus, he’s dating Niall now, not me. And Louis and him broke up months before we got together,” Liam says. “I don’t really have anything to do with this whole mess.”

 

“I know,” Perrie puts her hand on his shoulder. “I’m just saying, he’s probably projecting.”

 

Liam shrugs and then the door bell rings.

 

“What a hostile work environment,” Perrie mumbles as she leaves her room and Liam only laughs. This whole situation was in fact incredibly stupid. When he told Louis about the project he looked like he wanted to puke. Liam had assured him that he was going to be professional since they were classmates after all and not let the past bother him, no matter how much he wanted to make Zayn pay for all he’d done.

 

When Perrie comes back up with Zayn, the room freezes. The whole play was going to be a disaster. Perrie’s half-hearted attempts at chasing after Liam are ridiculous and Liam’s happy when he’s out of the scene.

 

Liam has never seen anyone wake up and be in love so unemotionally as Zayn’s character. He’s supposed to fall in love with Perrie’s character when he sees her after waking up but judging from his face, the so called ‘love potion’ he was influenced by were probably sleeping pills.

 

The three of them walk awkwardly through the room, trying to give their best impressions of bizarre characters and mumbling their lines in broken Shakespeare English.

 

The second time they meet, it’s not any better. Liam has practiced his lines a bit but he’s still messing them up and he’s not entirely sure what language Zayn is even speaking. Perrie gave her best to be a girly girl but it didn’t come natural to her and if Liam could rewrite the scene she would probably slap both of the boys in the face and stomp off to be independent and on her own.

 

By now they were laughing at their own ridiculousness and it was those moments when they seemed to forget about the outside world.

 

Liam catches himself a few times giggling when Zayn professes his undying love to Perrie, mixing up and mispronouncing words. Unfortunately, Zayn’s laugh was infectious but as soon as they caught each other, their smiles vanished.

 

The first few times Liam didn’t dare to interfere but he grew more and more comfortable commenting on their acting and playing the role of the director, as soon as his part was over. Once he had gotten over his fear of Zayn punching him, it was actually quite okay.

 

“Can you try to not sound like you’re dying, Zayn?” He says while moving Perrie around. On day one this would have been a flat out stab. But today he doesn’t really mean it offensive at all and Zayn even laughs.

 

“I feel like that’s an accurate description of what our whole scene looks like right now, yeah. We’re all dying,” Zayn says and Perrie bursts out laughing.

 

Liam tries to hold himself together but Zayn has a point. There is no way they are going to pass the assignment unless they make it look like they put a little bit of effort in.

 

The good thing is, the less tension there’s in the room, the easier it seems to be for the three of them. Once Zayn decided to thaw the room from his icy coldness, they’re finally making progress. Especially the scene with Zayn and Perrie seems to work really well. Who would have thought Zayn could be such a charmer?

 

“Alright, I’ll see you guys one more time on Thursday and then we should be good to go,” Perrie says as she’s waving them goodbye on her front porch. “I have a better feeling now.”

 

“Yeah,” Liam mumbles.

 

“See you, Perrie,” Zayn says and sends her a soft smile.

 

Perrie closes the door and then it’s just the two of them walking the short distance to the sidewalk. Liam doesn’t look over and tries to mind his own business. To avoid the awkwardness he says “See you on Thursday” and turns around to walk home.

  
“Wait,” he hears Zayn say. Liam turns around and sees that he still hasn’t moved. “I just wanted to say that I’m glad that this is working out.”

 

Liam frowns and looks a little confused. He’s not entirely sure what Zayn is referring to. Did he even hear him right? Zayn scratches his head and avoids Liam’s eyes.

 

“I mean, with everything that’s happened. We could be at each other’s throats.”

 

“I usually don’t punch people, no,” Liam says with a certain determination in his voice. What the hell was Zayn trying to say here? “But yeah, I’m glad we can just focus on our assignment and get it done.”

 

“Exactly,” Zayn agrees and nods. “And by the way, I’m really happy for you and Louis.”

 

Laim opens his mouth to reply to him but he can’t think of anything to say. Thank you? I’m going to treat him better than you have?

 

“And I’m sorry for your friend,” Zayn adds. “Harry.” As if Liam doesn’t know who he’s talking about.

 

“Maybe you should tell him that,” Laim begins. “Or actually... don’t. He has a boyfriend so I think it would be best if you just stay away.”

 

Zayn nods silently and doesn’t seem so tough anymore all of a sudden. It takes all of Liam’s energy to not verbally attack Zayn now but he’s trying to take the high road here.

 

“He came to me, Liam. I would never mess with someone who’s taken.”

 

“Just drop it, no need to push it,” Liam says and all of a sudden the wintery air around them feels even colder than before. They’ve gotten on remarkably well so far and this close to their presentation there was no need to jeopardize anything.

 

“I feel like you don’t know the whole story. Harry led me on all of last summer and then he just dumped me cause he wasn’t ready or anything. And now he’s with this Niall kid but he still comes running to me, flings his arms around me, tells me how sexy I am and wants to kiss me. I mean what was I supposed to do? I kinda fell for him but I won’t let him play with my heart just like that,” Zayn struggle to say and looks into Liam’s eyes. He’s not lying, there’s a lot of confusion and hurt in his look.

 

Liam mushes his eyebrows together. How could this story get even more confusing and weird? “What do you mean, Harry lead you on?”

 

“All summer long we would steal away and snog and secretly hang out. Obviously I fell for him after a while but then he decided he wanted something else. I let it go, I really did. But then he came running again that night a few weeks ago and I just can’t take that,” Zayn explains. “I know I shouldn’t have punched him and I’m sorry for that. But I’m not going to let him toy with me.”

 

Liam doesn’t even know what to say. His brain is exploding right now, trying to process this new information. Harry had told him that he was involved with Zayn but Liam had no idea that it  was this intense. Harry made it seem like a casual crush but if what Zayn’s saying is true, he was definitely in love with Harry. And honestly, it made it sense to Liam. Harry himself had said that he liked Zayn’s wild and dangerous side and was still attracted to it. Of course Zayn would feel led on.

 

“I’m not telling you this to turn you against Harry or anything, yeah. I know he’s your best mate and that’s great. I just wanted you to know that I’m not just the bad guy here. It’s not as black and white.”

 

Liam still doesn’t know what to say so he nods. “I know. It always gets messy when feelings are involved.”

 

“And again, I’m really sorry I punched him. I just felt like such a joke. And for what it’s worth,” Zayn adds and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “The whole thing made me realize that me and Louis don’t match. I want someone like Harry and I owed it to Louis to not pull the same crap that Harry’s pulling on me. Leading him on and all.”

 

“I think I should go,” Liam says suddenly. The conversation clears up a lot of things but at the same time he feels incredibly uncomfortable. He wants to talk to Louis, talk to Harry. Finally get this whole mess into perspective.

 

“Oh… ok,” Zayn says and waves. “I’ll see you around then.”

 

“Yeah,” Liam agrees. “And thanks for telling me.”

 

With that he turns around and starts walking away without looking back. He has a feeling that Zayn is still standing there, staring after him but he doesn’t turn around to check.

 

The third time they meet is the day before their presentation. Liam tried to mentally prepare himself but when he arrives at Perrie’s, he’s a mess. He has spoken to both Louis and Harry since the last time. Harry silently agreed with what Zayn had said and Liam was beginning to question his best mate more and more. Before they could continue their talk, Niall had showed up so everything was still in the air.

 

Louis had incredulously listened to Liam re-telling him the story and shaken his head the whole time. He felt weird that Zayn had been thinking about Harry the whole time apparently but at least he broke it off before too much damage was done.

 

“Are you liking him now?” He asked Liam.

 

“No, I’m just trying to make sense of it all. I still think he’s a twat for yelling at you, playing with you and punching Harry. No matter how confusing Harry’s actions towards him were. But I don’t despise him anymore. I kind of understand where he’s coming from now.”

 

Louis just nodded and pressed a kiss against his forehead. “You’re such a good person. I sometimes can’t believe how lucky I am.”

 

Now he was without Louis by his side and Zayn was already sitting in Perrie’s room.

 

“Ready for the final rehearsal?” She laughs and then they begin their usual routine. Thankfully most of it goes over smoothly. They remember almost all of their lines and Liam’s positive that they’re even conveying some of the underlying emotions of the scene. What more can their teacher expect after just one week of preparation?

 

What’s hard to deny by now is Perrie’s infatuation with Zayn. At first Liam thought he was imaging it but now on day 3 it was very clear. She was constantly giggling like a crazy person when he said something and her devotion to him during their scenes was very little acting.

 

Liam thought it was adorable although he felt a little sorry for Perrie. They definitely looked like a great couple, but unfortunately Zayn liked his partners more… male.

 

“I’m gonna go for a smoke. Are you guys gonna stay here?” Zayn says eventually starts to grab his cigarettes out of his backpack.

 

Liam shoots Perrie a look and says: “I’ll join you actually.” She looks a little confused but then nods as if she understands. Liam’s not sure what Perrie is thinking exactly but he wans some alone time with Zayn so it works in his favor.

 

They step outside and unfortunately it’s still snowing. Zayn lights up a cigarette and offers Liam one as well, but he declines.

  
“I just wanted to chat with you really quickly,” Liam explains as Zayn exhales. “I thought a lot about what you said last time.”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to drop all of this on you but I just needed to get it off my chest,” Zayn said and looked apologetic. “I just needed to move one. The last few weeks have been hell.”

 

Liam laughs a little. “I think the last few weeks have been hell for everyone involved. At least up until recently.” He thinks about Louis. “Anyway, I just wanted to say that I don’t hate you. And I don’t wanna jump your throat. I think Louis is much happier now that he’s with me and if I can say so then… Stay away from Harry. If not for his sake then for your own. You’re clearly aware of his twisted feelings so do yourself a favor and don’t pursue it.”

 

“I wasn’t going to. Don’t worry,” Zayn says and looks a little offended. Liam had practiced what he was going to say before and he never got the tone in his voice right. He didn’t want to sound harsh but he also wanted to get his point across.

 

“I mean, eventually it’s up to you guys. And maybe you should talk once and for all at some point to avoid another disaster in the future. I heard Harry’s version and I hear your version. I’m not going to judge. I wasn’t there and you were all drunk… I just wanted to clear the air, at least between me and you.

 

Zayn nods. “I appreciate that.”

 

Liam watches Zayn inhale his cigarette and blow out the smoke afterwards. Technically this was the opposite of clearing the air but whatever. No need to voice his weird thoughts now.

 

“And for the record, I _do_ think Louis is much happier with you. He deserves to have someone look after him like you do,” he smiles faintly and Liam smiles back. “Let’s just get this stupid play over with tomorrow and after that I’ll stay out of your hair. All of you.”

 

Liam nods and he’s surprised how mature this whole conversation is going over. He didn’t mean to ban Zayn from anything or act in the name of all his friends but he doesn’t need him around Louis and he most certainly does not need him around Harry and Niall. Liam’s not even sure if he’s trying to protect Harry, Niall or Zayn. But he doesn’t want either one of them get hurt and since Harry’s a bit of a loose cannon emotionally right now, it was better if Zayn wasn’t around.

 

“You know…” he begins ultimately. “Under different circumstances I feel like we could have been great friends.”

 

He looks at Zayn and for a moment their eyes just linger with each other.

  
“Yeah,” Zayn says slowly, almost like a whisper. “I think so too.”

 

Liam breaks their eye contact and looks at the ground. Funny how weird things sometimes go. Zayn seems to be as protective and collected as Liam himself. He has a weird way of showing it but at least he had the decency to dump Louis once he figured out that he was still hung up on Harry. Liam feels weirdly connected to him; they might share some similarities after all.

 

He looks up one more time and then says: “See you inside?”

 

Zayn nods and goes to finish his cigarette. Liam slips back inside and takes a deep breath.

 

* * *

 

Since humiliation seems to be a part of every teacher’s methods of teaching, it was no surprise that ALL English classes were invited to watch the performances the next day. Liam thought it was the perfection of awkwardness that he was about to put on a scene with Perrie and Zayn in front of Harry, Niall, Jesy, Eleanor and of course Louis.

 

All the boys and girls are waiting in the auditorium and Liam’s class is backstage, preparing their individual scenes.

 

“We can do this, ok guys?” Zayn says out of nowhere and Perrie looks up from her phone.

 

“Sure,” Liam agrees absent-mindedly. The only good thing was that Louis is in the audience. He doesn’t necessarily need the other to see their masterpiece but he was happy that Louis would watch him. Thankfully neither of the them are overly nervous or susceptible to stage fright, so when he looks at Zayn and Perrie they seem confident.

 

Zayn is giving Perrie a big hug before it’s their time to go up on stage and Liam swears he sees Perrie blush.

 

“Ready?” Now Zayn was looking at him with his dark eyes.

“I guess,” Liam mumbles, waiting for his teacher to call out their names. Zayn laughs and puts a hand on his shoulder for reassurance. And then it begins.

 

* * *

Liam feels weirdly confident that he has Zayn and Perrie at his side. They’re both so good all of a sudden, much better than during rehearsals. It feels natural working with them; his lines float in and out of his head and for a second he forgets that he’s on a stage in front of all his classmates. He’s surprised how far they’ve come in just a week – and not just in terms of the play. A week ago they didn’t know anything about Shakespeare, had no clue about the play and were basically on non-speaking terms with each other. Now they were at ease, performing with each other and actually… having fun.

 

Liam’s impression seems to translate to the audience because all of their friends are jumping up from their seats, cheering and clapping loudly. Later, their teacher informs them how impressed she was and that it was one of the best scenes out of all of them.

 

“You were absolutely brilliant,” Louis screams as he’s running toward Liam after the show. Liam’s heart skips a beat when he sees him run down the hallway and finally fall into his arms. “Brilliant!”

 

Louis kisses him proudly and smiles at him.

 

“I’m glad you liked it. I was nervous cause I wanted to give my best for you,” Liam says and hides his face in the crook of Louis’ neck.

 

“‘Twas not half bad!” He hears Harry say and feels a clap on his shoulder.

 

“I’m impressed! How knew you were such a literary geek!” Niall adds and slings his arm around Harry’s waist. Liam grins at both his friends.

  
“Thanks guys.”

 

Not far from him he sees Perrie in the middle of all the girls. Clearly they’re just as proud of her as Liam’s friends are. He sees Jesy wave at him and give him a thumbs-up and then Eleanor comes over.

 

“I really enjoyed that! I had my doubts at first but you totally smashed it,” she says and pulls Liam in for a hug. “Really great.”

 

“Thank you. It went better than any of the rehearsals.”

 

“Yeah I heard they were a little bit of a challenge,” Eleanor says and they all start laughing.

 

“’S anybody up for pizza?” Niall asks and looks around. “Celebratory pizza is the best kind.”

 

“Is there any other kind?” Harry gives back and they giggle.

Sometimes Liam wishes he lived in a world where the mere act of eating pizza was already worth celebrating.

 

“I kinda want to spend some alone time with this one,” Louis says quietly and tugs at Liam’s arms. “If that’s ok with you.”

 

Liam has to make sure not to laugh. Obviously it was ok with him; there’s nothing he wants more right now than Louis, Louis, Louis. “Yes, very much. Please.”

 

He leans in to kiss Louis and he can see Harry and Niall roll their eyes before Niall plants a kiss on Harry’s cheek himself. When Liam pulls out of their embrace he sees Zayn shuffle by with his head down.

 

“Hey,” Louis says all of a sudden and reaches out for him. He manages to grab his waist so Zayn abruptly stops and looks up. The poor guy just stares at all of them. Five sets of eyes linger on him right now and as soon as Louis realizes that, he lets go.

 

“Good work,” Louis says and reassuringly nods at Zayn with a smirk.

 

Harry then proceeds to look on the floor but the rest of them genuinely smile at Zayn, hoping to relieve some of the pressure.

 

“Thanks,” Zayn mumbles shyly. When nobody says anything right away, he shoots them one last look, turns away and disappears.

 

Louis looks at Liam and shrugs; Liam could smother him with kisses and hugs right now. Louis congratulating Zayn, acting all nice and mature and good-hearted was a beautiful thing to see.

 

“You’re turning him into a nice person, Liam,” Eleanor says and touches Louis’ arm, grinning. “I like it.”

 

* * *

Liam thinks it’s hilarious once he becomes aware of the two opposites side of Louis. There’s the public Louis, the one he’s known so far. With a big loose mouth and a constant smile in his eyes. He was witty and fun, and covering his nervousness up with jokes. But then there was another Louis; a Louis that only Liam got to see.

 

When it was night and the two of them were cuddling up on the sofa or on the couch and Louis got all quiet and calm. At school, when nobody looked, and Louis let Liam take him into his arms without any resistance. When they were outside and Louis searched for Liam’s hand cause he was cold and wanted to feel safe. It was subtle things that Liam believed nobody else really picked up on. But _he_ did and it made him very happy. 

 

Louis has gotten more and more comfortable to show his true self sometimes; what he was actually thinking and feeling. And Liam loved that openness. Most times Louis would end up laughing and making fun of himself, as usual. But he had his ways of letting Liam know when something wasn’t right, so he could fix it.

 

Liam feels absolutely at ease in that role. He loves being a safe haven for Louis and it’s a two-way street for them. It’s not just Louis that sometimes needs someone to lean on and hold on to. Liam has his moments of insecurity or situations where he’s just absolutely overwhelmed. That’s when it takes one call or text from Louis, or better yet, a hug or a kiss to show him that everything’s going to be fine.

 

However, Liam knows that Louis sometimes still struggles to let down his guard. He’s gotten so got at protecting his heart and shielding himself from others that it can be a little difficult to get through to him; especially for Liam who doesn’t always know what to say. It’s not that Louis doesn’t trust Liam, he knows that. But when it came to matters of the heart and their feelings for each other Louis wasn’t too eager to become serious.

 

“He doesn’t want to make himself vulnerable. That’s completely normal,” says Harry one day at lunch, when the topic comes up. Liam sits down next to him and unpacks his food.

 

“I know, but it’s not like I’m out there to hurt him.”

 

“He knows that. Just give him some time and space to get used to that.”

 

Liam sighs and takes a bite out of his sandwich. It’s the first time in weeks that he has a second alone with Harry, as the others were all still trying to get their food. He hasn’t really seen his friend much recently and they both know it is odd. The whole Zayn situation has messed things up a bit and Liam isn’t sure how to approach it.

 

“Do you remember how _I_ was when Niall and me started dating?” Harry asks all of a sudden, mouth full of food.

 

Liam wrinkles his forehead. For some reason he’s a little on the edge today, especially with Harry. “Snogging all over the place? Yeah. Disgusting.”

 

“I mean emotionally,” Harry explains and tries to chew without having stuff fall out of his mouth. That kid is a mess. “I wasn’t ready to talk about my feelings either and all that crap. Am still not. At first I thought Niall was gonna smother me.”

 

“I’m not smothering Louis!” Liam says, a little offended. What kind of advice was this?

 

“I’m not saying that, stop reading things into what I’m saying,” Harry says and rolls his eyes. He reaches for a napkin to wipe away the excess sauce on his face. Then he takes another bite. “My point is, give Louis some time to become more secure. Over time he’ll learn to trust you.”

 

Liam can feel how he’s getting more and more annoyed. Clearly Harry doesn’t understand him. “He does trust me. That’s not what I’m talking about, Haz. I mean look at me, am I an emotional person? Not really. I’m not saying I want to sit around and pour my heart out with Louis. I just feel like he sometimes closes himself off, like he wants to protect himself from getting hurt.”

 

Harry looks up and nods knowingly.

 

“What?”

 

“That has Zayn written all over,” Harry explains.

 

“Zayn?” Liam frowns. “What does he have to do with anything?”

 

“He messed up Louis. Just like he messed me up,” Harry shrugs.

 

Liam drops his hands loudly on the table and stares at Harry. “You really wanna go there right now?”

 

Harry stares back for a second, then grunts and takes another bite. Liam silently counts to ten before he finishes his food and gets up.

 

“Are you leaving?”

 

“Yeah. I’ll call you later, ok?” Liam says as he gathers his things. He doesn’t want the situation to become more tense that it already is and he’s really, really not looking to fight with Harry but his pulse is racing and his friends’ ignorance is driving him up the wall.

 

“Sure,” Harry gives back as Eleanor, Perrie and Jesy walk over. They greet each other and sit down but when Liam waves goodbye, Jesy chases after him and stops him before he can leave the cafeteria.

 

“Hey, hold on. Liam!” He hears her and turns around. “I want to ask you something before you leave.”

 

“What is it?”

 

Jesy sighs and laughs a little before she says: “When you were working with Perrie and Zayn for that play… Did anything happen?”

 

Liam frowns. What the heck was she talking about? Perrie and Zayn had been close and a little flirty but only because their scene required it. “What do you mean?”

 

“Between Perrie and Zayn? Did anything happen?” Jesy repeats and looks around, as if someone could hear her.

 

“No? Why?”

 

“Jade has been putting these thoughts into my head that Perrie has a crush on Zayn,” Jesy explains, nervously looking over her shoulder. ”And I’m kinda starting to see it too, so I was just curious…”

 

Liam suppresses laughing. Everyone knows that Zayn has been dating Louis and he has probably been with guys before him as well. It’s definitely not a secret, so why were they creating something between him and Perrie now?

 

“Well that’s gonna be rather unrequited, don’t you think?” He says eventually and raises one eyebrow. “Perrie knows better than that. Everyone knows better than that.”

 

“Of course. But he is fit…” Jesy says with a smug look on her face.

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

“If she’s attracted to him there’s not much she can do,” Jesy eventually says and shrugs her shoulders. As if that was an explanation for anything. How the hell did Perrie fall for Zayn? When did that happen?

 

“Are you serious right now?“

 

“I’m just saying, Liam,” Jesy says and although she’s trying to whisper it comes out a lot louder than expected. She crosses her arms. “I just don’t wanna talk to her out of the blue so I thought maybe you’d noticed something. You’ve seen them together.”

 

“They were pretty close but I think it was mostly for the play, Jes,” Liam explains. “You should definitely talk to her though. She should 100 percent not fall for a gay guy.”

 

“Maybe he’s bi?”

 

For a moment they just look at each other. Could that be a possibility? Liam doesn’t know enough about Zayn and just assumed that he’s always been with boys. What if Louis was just a phase? What if it wasn’t a phase and he’s truly bisexual? It was just a weird thought; up until now he had firmly believed that Zayn was exclusively interested in guys. But what if Jesy was right?

 

“Okay, well, thank you,” she says finally. “That’s all I wanted to know.”

 

He nods and when Jesy returns to the others, Liam steps out of the cafeteria, wondering what was going on with everybody lately.

 

* * *

Louis is lying on his stomach on Liam’s bed with his feet in the air, eating ice cream out of a bucket. It’s so cute that Liam’s heart could burst. He watches his boyfriend from his chair instead of reading through his homework.

 

“You’re perfect, you know that?”

 

Louis looks up with the spoon still stuck in his mouth. “Huh?”

 

Liam can’t help but laugh as Louis proceeds to scoop some more ice cream onto his spoon. “You know your birthday’s coming up soon, right?”

 

Louis mushes his eyebrows together. “Obviously. It’s the most important day of the year.” He puts on his most offended face. “What a dumb question.”

 

“What are your plans?”

 

“Well I’m gonna spend Christmas with my family but on the 24th I wanna see you,” Louis says and stares into his bucket. “If that’s ok.”

 

“Of course that’s ok, silly,” Liam says with a smile and gets up. He approaches his bed, crawls over to Louis and curls up next to him. “I wouldn’t wanna miss your birthday for the world.” He gives him a kiss on his sweet lips, tasting the ice cream off of them.

 

“Good. I was thinking I could celebrate with my Mom and my sisters during the day and then take the evening off and we could do something? I would really like that,” Louis says and keeps on stuffing his face. Liam hugs him tightly from behind and presses soft kisses on his hair and face.

 

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to see the other guys?” He says and tries to find Louis’ eyes.

 

“It’s always hard because of Christmas. And this year I might have somewhere much better to be”, Louis explains and offers Liam a spoonful of ice ceam. Liam gladly accepts, opens his mouth and lets Louis feed him. They both giggle like crazy people.

 

“Yes, you do. And that would be with me,” he clarifies proudly. Not that he needed to. “Any big wishes?”

 

“Oh, a lot. I definitely want that pet chimpanzee you were talking about.”

 

“I thought so.”

 

“No, but seriously, I don’t have a list or anything. I like it when people surprise me with something funny they came up with. That makes me much happier,” Louis says and continues feeding himself and Liam. Somehow Louis ends up getting much more ice cream than Liam, but that’s okay. “I always try to find something crazy for others.”

 

“I can imagine that,” Liam nods. “Please don’t get me anything alive for Christmas.”

 

“Who said you’d get anything? You already got me; that should be enough,” Louis says with that confidence that always draws Liam in.

 

“Well, you’re right. It kinda is”, Liam says in all honesty, being the modest person he is. He does think the world of Louis and he’d rather have him over all things in the world for Christmas.

 

Louis laughs out lout and jumps up. “You’re such a cheesy charmer. That was a joke!” He sits across from Liam and stares right into his face with a big smile.

 

“Can’t help it,” Liam shrugs, not sure how to react.

 

“That’s why I like you so much,” Louis says and leans forward. Their sticky lips touch and their tongues follow soon after. Liam lets Louis push him backwards onto the mattress and crawl over him.

 

“You’re perfect, you know that?” Louis whispers all of a sudden into his ear. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

 

Liam’s heart jumps out of his body and his slings his arms around Louis, tighter than ever before. They both roll around, giggling, laughing and kissing. It’s the best feeling in the world and Liam just wants to shout from the rooftops. He’d never imagined feeling like this but now Louis’ is there and everyday is fun and exciting and bright; no matter how confusing everything else in his life is right now.

 

Liam can feel his own erection swelling massively due to Louis’ weight on his body. Louis is rubbing himself all over Liam; their skin touching, their mouths kissing.

 

“Lou,” he breathes weakly in between kisses and grabs him tighter. He definitely needs to do something about the pressure in his pants though. “Hold on.”

 

Louis freezes and pulls back in confusion. “What?”

 

Liam doesn’t let go of him and gently places his one hand on the small of Louis’ back and the other into his hair. “I was just thinking… Maybe we could…?”

 

Louis raises one eyebrow, but when Liam lets his one hand slide down Louis’ pants to grab his bum, Louis smiles. “Are you sure?”

 

Liam nods and bites his lips.

 

“Absolutely.”

 

* * *

The next day, Liam finds Harry on the floor in the hallway in the middle of scattered sheets.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Oh,” Harry looks up and moves some of the pages around. “I dropped my notes and now I’m reorganizing it. ‘S nothing.”

 

“You need help?” Liam asks and leans down.

 

“It’s fine,” Harry mumbles and stacks his stuff together. He gets back up and looks at Liam. “What’s up?”

 

“Nothing, I was just wondering if you had a minute to talk.”

 

“I’m sorry I’m really in a rush right now.”

 

“Oh, okay. I understand.”

 

Harry frowns. “What is it?”

 

“Nothing, it can wait,” Liam says and shrugs his shoulders. They’re both standing awkwardly in the hallway, holding onto their backpacks.

 

“Are you sure?” Harry asks and raises an eyebrow.

 

“Well, you’re busy now, so… Yeah I guess,” Liam sighs.

 

“I mean I can listen. I just gotta get to class.”

 

“Well, it’s kind of a big thing and I just… I don’t wanna rush through it”, Liam says. This whole conversation has an annoying undertone to it. Liam is mad at himself for giving such snappy responses but he’s just following Harry’s lead. Lately his best mate could really make him explode within a minute.

 

“Then tell me, if it’s important,” Harry insists.

 

“We can talk some other time,” Liam says. He really doesn’t feel like pouring out his heart to Harry in a couple of seconds, especially not if he’s visibly in a rush. “You just said you have to get to class. I just thought you might be free and we could chat somewhere.”

 

“Are you bloody serious right now?” Harry says and throws his hands in the air.

 

“I don’t feel comfortable hurrying through that now,” Liam explains, trying not to sound too aggressive. “We’ll just talk some other time. What do you want me to say?”

 

“You could have told me by now.”

 

“I don’t want to in a hallway in 30 seconds. Just, go to class. Jesus, Harry,” Liam sighs and rolls his eyes. Why was he being so difficult?

“Alright,” Harry says and turns to go. “I’m sorry. I’ll call you?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Bye,” Harry walks away and a second later he’s gone around the corner.

 

“Bye,” Liam mumbles. “Bloody brilliant.”

 

On his way out of the school he runs into Niall. He almost doesn’t recognize him because he’s still reliving his conversation with Harry in his head. It’s just so infuriating how things have developed over the last few weeks.

 

“Payno!” Niall yells at him and waves like a maniac. He’s wrapped into a big scarf that’s protecting him from the cold. It’s not even snowing but apparently somebody freezes very easily. Liam can’t help but laugh when he sees him.

 

”Oh hey. Hi,” he says as Niall leans in for a hug. “Didn’t see you there.”

 

“I’m not that short,” Niall says and frowns.

 

Liam laughs a little. “That’s not what I meant. I was lost in my thoughts,” he explains. It’s a good thing that he’s laughing; it takes away a little bit of the depressed mood he was in. Thank god for Niall.

 

“It happens,” Niall shrugs. For a moment neither of them says anything but then Liam remembers his run-in with Harry.

 

“You know what?” He says and looks directly at Niall. Who cares if he’s venting to the wrong person now? Liam’s upset and, frankly, a bit hurt at the way Harry treated him. “Your boyfriend is so bloody irritating sometimes.”

 

“Whoa. What is this about?” Niall says and frowns.

 

“I wish I knew,” Liam sighs. A part of him wishes he had kept his mouth shut but he just needs to let some steam off right now. “Has he said anything about me lately? Cause I feel like I’m missing a piece here. We’re literally on each others’ throats whenever we talk now and it’s making me mad.”

 

“Uh…. I don’t know. He hasn’t said anything to me,” Niall says a little uncomfortably. “This is the first time I’m hearing about this.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Liam responds and sinks his head. “I didn’t mean to drop this on you. I just wanted to talk to my best friend and he… He always shrugs me off and he’s short with me. And to be honest, I know that I’m not any better. I don’t know when we’ve become like this.”

 

Niall looks a little in over his head right now and Liam starts to feel like an asshole.

 

“He’s under a lot of pressure with school,” Niall explains. “He’s been a little off lately.”

 

Liam wants to laugh and cry at the same time. Under a lot of pressure? If only he knew the truth... Liam turns away to stare into the distance. It’s not his place to spill the beans right now so he’s biting his tongue. He feels the cold air on his skin but he’s so heated up, it doesn’t even bother him.

 

“Are you guys… okay? Is everything fine?” He asks finally and turns back to Niall. The poor guy looks desperate. Any bystander would probably interpret the look on his face right now as ‘I’m talking to an insane person’.

 

“Yeah, no, it’s great. He’s just going through some stuff I think. Don’t take it personally,” Niall simply says and Liam decides to let it rest. He’s gotten himself into enough trouble with this conversation already. Harry is going to hate him for it and Niall probably thinks Liam’s out of his mind.

 

“Hey, if you need somebody to talk to, I’m free?” Niall says and finally smiles again. He hits Liam on the arm as some sort of encouragement. “I mean I know I’m not your best mate or anything but we’ve been hanging out, right?”

 

That actually makes Liam laugh. Niall couldn’t be more confused at this point but he’s still the biggest sweetheart on the planet.

 

“You’re such a goofball, Niall,” Liam says, hating himself for being such an idiot sometimes.

 

“So…?” Niall looks at Liam expectantly. Liam looks back, debating whether he should confide in him what he actually wanted to tell Harry. Given the circumstances, Harry is probably the wrong person to talk to right now anyway. The more Liam thinks about it the less he knows why he even set out to find Harry in the first place. He would have probably made fun of him anyway. Niall is a much better mate.

 

“I had sex with Louis last night,” he says eventually. “For the first time, I mean.”

 

There it is. The reason he was looking for Harry in the first place. The reason why he feels so nervous and on the edge of insanity.

 

“Yay!” Niall exclaims and laughs.

 

“Yay? You’re a shitty best mate.” But not worse than Harry right now, that’s for sure.

 

Niall laughs nervously. “I mean, that’s great for you. You wanna go celebrate?”

 

Liam raises one eyebrow. It takes him a second but then he puts two and two together. “You wanna eat pizza, don’t you?”

 

Niall just grins.

 

“Fine, let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

They sit down across from each other in a cozy little both, happy to have escaped the cold from outside. They’re sharing the large pizza in the middle of the table, even though sharing apparently entitles Niall to three quarters of their food. Liam’s not that hungry anyway and he’s just happy he’s found somebody to talk to.

 

“So you finally shagged? Good on you, mate,” Niall begins and shoves a huge slice into his mouth.

 

Liam nervously looks around as if anybody could hear them and nods. It’s not that he’s not proud of his relationship with Louis but he’s a little uncomfortable with letting the whole pizza place know he had sex last night.

 

“Was it good? Did ya have fun?”

 

“Niall!” Liam exclaims. “Of course I had fun. It’s not about fun.”

 

“Then what’s the problem?”

 

“I don’t know,” Liam says and takes a bite. What was the problem? He really, really, really enjoyed his night with Louis. It felt completely fulfilling and perfect and wonderful. It was the right mixture between sexy and dirty and careful and loving. Liam didn’t really have any idea how it would go down but now he knows that that’s exactly how he wanted it. “I’m just so nervous and excited.”

 

“Have you never...?” Niall wonders and frowns.

 

Liam shyly shakes his head. He’s done some stuff with girls before but technically he was still a virgin – up until last night at least. “No! That’s exactly the point.”

 

“Oh, I understand. Well, then it is a big deal of course!” Niall reckons and raises his pizza as if it was a cup. “Pizza to that! Was it as good as you had hoped?”

 

“I didn’t hope for anything,” Liam says. “Especially not with a lad, by the way. But yeah, I was pretty sure beforehand that Louis wouldn’t disappoint and…”

 

Niall raises an eyebrow and puts on a stupid smirk.

 

“He didn’t!” Liam says and laughs. “Obviously.”

 

“Obviously,” Niall repeats and takes another huge bite. Liam can’t help but smile. This conversation is ridiculous but at least Niall is listening and Liam and get all the nervousness off of his chest. When he woke up this morning and Louis was next to him, it was the best feeling in the world. They sneaked out together to go to school and all day long he’s had butterflies in his stomach, even more than usually.

 

“So then what’s the problem?” Niall asks eventually, bringing Liam back to reality.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Why did you wanna talk to Harry?”

 

“I just wanted to share the good news I guess. There’s no problem,” Liam says, which is true. It was a big moment for him and he just wanted to share it with his best mate. That’s the stuff you share, with your best mate, right? “I’ve been so anxious the last couple of days. I was worried Louis wouldn’t wanna let me in…”

 

Niall coughs and almost chokes on his pizza. Liam widens his eyes alarmingly but Niall raises his hand to show that he is ok.  “Jesus, don’t be so graphic, Liam!”

 

“What? Niall! I meant emotionally!” He quickly exclaims. Niall definitely has a dirty mind. That is _NOT_ what he was referring to. “I was worried he doesn’t want to let me in _emotionally_. Jesus Christ.”

 

“Oh, I understand,” Niall nods when he finally calms down from laughing and coughing and dying.

 

“You’re such an idiot,” Liam laughs. He can’t believe Niall thought he was blatantly talking about his adventures with Louis in the sheets right here in the pizzeria.

 

“What? What was I supposed to think?” Niall says back and laughs as well. All the commotion didn’t stop him from devouring another slice of pizza.

 

“You’re the worst at this, seriously,” Liam says.

 

“It’s not my fault you’re not talking to Harry.”

 

“I know,” Liam says and looks down on his plate. “I’m sorry.” He knows that he doesn’t have to apologize as it was all in good fun, but Niall was right. He was giving his best at replacing Harry and doesn’t deserve to be laughed at.

 

“It’s ok,” Niall says with his genuine smile. “I’m really happy for you though. And apparently Louis feels comfortable with you… emotionally _and_ physically.”

 

“Yeah. I guess I was making myself a little crazy over that,” Liam admits. “I just… I really want him to know that I’m there for him and I’m not gonna go anywhere.” Why does he have all these doubts anyway? There’s literally no sign that Louis is pulling away or shutting himself off; at least not more than you could expect after roughly one month of dating.

 

“He’ll know. Stuff like that comes over time; you can’t force that. I didn’t open myself up completely the first day I met Harry either. Just let it play out… Enjoy the ride. You’ve found a great bloke,” Niall says. He’s right, there’s obviously no reason to rush anything, although Liam would love to have all of Louis right away.

 

“Yeah. I guess you’re right…” Liam mumbles and finishes off his pizza.

 

“Seriously. Just live in the moment. Don’t miss out on all the _Louisness_ in your life,” Niall says and winks. “It’s fun slowly getting to know each other and discovering new things every day, right?”

 

Liam takes a second to think about that. Yeah, why would he not want to explore all of this with Louis? Why rush? The moment Niall finishes talking it becomes clear to him how bent out of shape he’s gotten over nothing.

 

“Payno, you’re being so bloody nervous right now. Calm down,” Niall says, trying not to laugh. He reaches out and puts his hand on Liam’s. “It’s really sweet that you care so much. You’re really really in love, aren’t you?”

 

Liam just looks up with a miserable look on his face. He _is_ really in love with Louis and this whole thing is so new to him. How are you supposed to know what to feel and think? Love is crazy. No wonder people are always acting weird.

 

“You’ll be fine,” he hears Niall say eventually as he squeezes his hand. “I promise.”

 

Liam smiles back at him, hoping he’s right.

 

* * *

A few days later Liam is sitting outside with Louis. Liam’s already done with his classes but Louis is not, so Liam is waiting until the break’s over so he has as much Louis as possible.

 

Louis is sitting on the little wall of the staircase, carefully eying Liam on the steps. They’re wrapped in warm clothes and jackets. It’s mid-December now and snowing almost every day. “Are you ok? You look so lost in your thoughts. Entertain me.”

 

Liam suddenly looks up and takes a drag from his cigarette that’s almost burnt down now. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I zoned out for a second. Did I tell you I ran into Harry this morning?”

 

Louis shakes his head and Liam fears he might fall of the wall. Then he takes a drag from his own cigarette. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing. It’s just weird. Still.”

 

“You’re weird,” Louis laughs. “Talk to him for god’s sake. The longer you wait the more awkward it’s gonna get.”

 

“We don’t hug anymore. There is no friendliness at all between us. We discuss school matters and even when we talk about your and Niall it sounds more like business than sharing personal thoughts with a mate.”

 

Louis rolls his eyes. Did Liam sound too dramatic? “Maybe that’s the problem. Me and Niall. You used to only have each other and now… You’re both taken.”

 

Liam gives him an upset look. “You’re not a bad thing, Lou. Come here.”

 

Louis obediently jumps off the wall and shuffles over to sit next to Liam. Liam puts his arm around Louis’ shoulder and pulls him in. His butt is ice cold from the ground but he doesn’t care. He exhales the smoke and looks at Louis. “That’s not the problem, you and Niall. It’s everything that’s happened with Zayn too. Not only the fact that he never told me… He lied to me. He put himself in the role of the victim when he was the one that led Zayn on.”

 

“You don’t know if that’s true. Zayn might just as well be lying. I don’t trust anyone anymore, honestly,” Louis says and shakes his head. He’s buried in Liam’s shoulder now, trying to keep himself warm.

 

“I just feel like I don’t even know him anymore. And it sucks. I don’t wanna lose my best mate,” Liam sighs and holds Louis closer. Louis lifts his head up and puts his lips on Liam’s.

 

“You’re not losing your best mate. Go and talk to him. Tell him that you miss him and tell him how you feel. You’ve been friends forever; you’ll sort it out, I’m sure,” Louis says reassuringly. He finishes his cigarette and throws it away. “I’m really sorry but I have to leave you now. I can’t be late for class.”

 

He pulls a sad face, which makes Liam laugh. “Don’t worry, Lou. Go back inside, you’re cold anyway.”

 

“Not when I’m with you,” Louis says and demands another kiss. Obviously Liam obeys.

 

They both get up and hug tightly. “Come by tonight? We can watch a movie or pretend we’re watching it and have sex?” Louis tries to make his most irresistible face, which results in Liam giggling and Louis pinching him consequently.

 

“I’d love to,” Liam responds and gives him one last kiss. They linger for a moment before Louis pulls away.

 

“Just text me when you’re leaving your house. And call Harry,” he says as he’s making his way inside. He’s not letting go of Liam’s hands until the very last second. When he’s already opened the door he rushes back and leans in for another kiss. Then he smiles happily, runs back inside and this time he doesn’t come back.

 

Liam waits there for a minute, lets the snow fall on his head and the scent of Louis vanish from the air around him.

 

* * *

On Thursday Liam finds himself sitting in a bar with Harry. They both bought a beer (it was Harry’s second actually) and so far the bar was pretty empty. That’s probably because it wasn’t even 7 o’clock yet.

 

“It’s so bloody early,” Harry rightfully observes. “Nobody’s here.”

 

“That’s the whole point. So you and me can talk,” Liam explains and looks Harry in the eye. “And get drunk before the others get here.”

 

Harry nods and takes a sip. “True. Are you excited for Christmas?”

 

Liam frowns at this random question but decides to go with “Yes.”

 

“It’s Louis’ birthday, isn't it? Got any ideas what you wanna get him?”

 

“I do, in fact,” Liam starts and takes another sip. He’s spent the last few days thinking about what Louis would like; outside of a pet monkey obviously. “I’m writing a song for him. You know, just with my guitar.”

 

“Are you for real? That’s brilliant!” Harry says and smiles. “You love singing. I’m glad he’s giving you a reason to do that some more.” What a genuine reaction. Liam is extremely nervous about his gift idea but he’s the worst at buying things, especially with little to no money at his disposal. Writing a song and putting his thoughts into lyrics seems like a romantic and fun idea to him.

 

“I wanna sing about how much he means to me and how I’m gonna be there for him. You know, what we’ve talked about the other day at school?”

 

“I remember. Sounds like a good idea.”

 

“Obliviously there’ll be chocolates involved too, but the song is the main gift,” Liam adds happily. “What are your plans for Niall?”

 

Harry takes a deep breath and another sip of his beer. For a second Liam regrets asking that question. Did Harry even want to give Niall a gift? Was he going to present Zayn with something? Liam’s not even sure anymore and he honestly wouldn’t be surprised by most of the answers Harry could possibly give now. As far as he knows Harry and Niall are still together and Harry does his best at swiping his cheating under the rug; together with his feelings for Zayn.

 

“I was thinking about taking him on a trip. Couple of days away, you know?”

 

Liam pulls his eyebrows together. What was that? Could there be a worse idea? The last thing they need is a weekend away together, trapped in some hotel room where Harry was probably going to explode from being apart from Zayn for too long.

 

Before Liam can elaborate his cynical and rather mean thoughts any further, Harry interrupts him: “Good idea?”

 

“Are you going to break up with him there?” Liam says without thinking and immediately wants to travel back in time.

 

“Fuck you, Liam,” Harry says and leans back. He doesn’t even respond any further and Liam gives him an apologetic look. After a while Harry speaks again: “So… what’s new?”

 

Liam almost laughs. “Well, I have a boyfriend now. Since a little over a month, so I guess that’s new.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” Harry says. “I think that was the last time I’ve seen you… like outside of school.”

 

“Sadly that’s true,” Liam nods and they both stare down. Liam fidgets with the tag on his bottle. “Your talk that night was really good though.”

 

“Yeah?” Harry looks up and Liam nods.

 

“It made me run to Louis’ doorstep and tell him how I felt. And thank god I did,” Liam explains.

 

“Well, thank me, I guess.” He laughs and Liam rolls his eyes.                          

 

“Yeah, thank you.”

 

“No problem,” Harry says and then after a while: “You haven’t asked me about Niall and Zayn for a while.”

 

Liam raises his eyebrows. “The last time I did you pretty much threatened me to never talk about it again and said you’d take care of it. It’s not that I don’t care… I just don’t wanna get into trouble.”

 

“You’re not getting intro trouble, you’re my best mate. You’re supposed to tell me,” Harry says and sits up straight.

 

“Am I?”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry frowns. “You need to relax, Liam. I want you to be supportive, just not an arsehole.”

 

Liam doesn’t even respond but instead swallows down his anger and drowns it in beer. When did he and Harry start living in two different worlds?

 

“Why did you never tell me how close you were with Zayn?” He asks after a while. Harry meets his eyes and shrugs.

 

“I wasn’t ready to come out.”

 

“Yeah but even after that. You said you snogged a bit. You never told me there were feelings involved…”

 

“Because there were no feelings involved!” Harry snaps suddenly. He looks around, fearing that other people in the bar might have heard him. Liam mumbles something under his breath and sighs. “Look, I’m sorry I’m not a bloody narcissist, sitting around, talking about how miserable my life is.”

 

“I’m your friend, you’re supposed to tell me stuff like that; when you crush on someone. Particularly when that person ends up punching you and I’m driving you to the hospital,” Liam says, knowing that he’s not exactly walking on eggshells right now.

 

“Are you fucking serious, what do you want? A medal? I already thanked you for doing that, but my messy business is my messy business,” Harry says and throws his hands in the air. As usual, they are five minutes in and Liam can feel his blood pressure rise by the second.

 

“Oh, so we’re doing that now? Everyone has his own business? That’s fucking fantastic, Harry,” Liam scoffs and hits the table with his open hand. “I don’t think you understand the concept of friendship.”

 

“I don’t think _you_ understand the concept of friendship,” Harry repeats and leans over the table.

 

“What are you talking about?” Liam hisses back and leans forward as well. In his head the whole situation is so ridiculous, how they’re both attacking each other like wild animals, only the table keeping them apart from each other.

 

“Niall told me you fucking banged Louis finally? Apparently you didn’t feel the need to share your business with me either. Rather told my boyfriend?” Harry says in the most condescending tone Liam has ever heard. That was a really low blow from him.

 

“Are you insane?!” Liam almost screams. “That is a fucking mean thing to say, really Harry.”

 

Liam can see Harry knows that and his face is all tense and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. For a second they both just stare at each other. Liam doesn’t know if he wants to scream, cry, smash his bottle into Harry’s head or walk the fuck out of this bar.

 

“I tried to tell you, but you didn’t have time to listen to me. You never have anymore,” Liam finally says, a little more calm than before and Harry just gazes at something in the distance. There is no point in trying to insult or hurt each other; he should say what he’s thinking. As long as Harry is here they can at least attempt to tackle the actual problem at hand.

 

“I hate it,” Liam says finally and Harry looks at him again. “I hate that we’re growing apart and there’s nothing we can do about it because every time we try to talk to each other we end up arguing like crazy people.” He looks at Harry’s face and sees a lot of guilt there but he knows Harry is only mirroring his own expression. They both have said things that were mean and things that were true but it’s gotten to a point where there is no laughter and no love anymore. Liam tries to remember the last time Harry hugged him and can’t even pinpoint it.

 

Harry sighs and it looks like he’s trying to find the right things to say. “Alright, then you go first. What exactly is your problem with me? I’m not trying to stir up trouble, I truly just want to understand.”

 

“I guess what it comes down to is that I’m hurt you didn’t trust me with any of the Zayn bullshit. That you’ve consequently been shutting me out. And that you’ve not only kept it from me but _lied_ to me about it. You lied to me and that’s just something I never thought you’d do,” Liam explains with all the disappointment from the last weeks lingering in his voice. He’s not even angry, just so disappointed.

 

Harry nods and looks at his hands. “Alright. I understand that. But I told you I’d handle it so can we please, please move past this? I’m so tired of that whole story.”

 

“Well me too Harry, trust me. But I’m sorry I’m not accepting everything you say at face value anymore; you’ve kinda lost that with me,” Liam says and hates himself for it.

 

Harry frowns. “Seriously Liam, are you trying to create a rift between us?”

 

“I’m not trying anything. I just don’t even recognize you anymore. You’ve become this new person and you’re… you’re not even nice to me anymore. I miss my best mate,” Liam says and lets his head sink into his hands. This whole conversation is so exhausting and heavy; he just wants it to be over. Everything he says is pushing Harry further away from him but at the same time he can’t keep his true feelings in. It’s bullshit. If this is part of growing up and becoming mature, he was not going to have any of it.

 

“Liam?” He hears Harry whisper. He looks up and sees Harry more or less lying on the table, stretching his arms out for Liam. Liam shoots an unhappy face through his hands that were still covering his face. “I miss you too.”

 

Liam goes the distance and grabs Harry’s waiting hands on the table.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been such an insufferable twat lately,” Harry admits and looks Liam in the eyes. “I’ll prove it to you. I’ll sort all of this crap out and then I’ll tell you everything. Just… Please don’t give up on me. You’re my best mate, you’re not supposed to give up on me.”

 

“Then don’t make it so fucking easy for me to give up on you,” Liam grunts back and Harry smiles at him like at a sulking toddler.

 

“Truce?” Harry asks in his husky voice and puts on his most convincing smile. Liam feels like he might go blind from the whiteness of his teeth and is almost shocked by how this conversation turned around now.

 

“Truce,” he agrees quietly and nods.

 

* * *

The night turned out to be a lot of fun. Soon after their conversation, Liam and Harry were joined by Niall and Louis, as well as a bunch of other classmates. Everyone was ready for winter break and in the mood to get drunk, so they did. A lot.

 

Liam has his arm wrapped around Louis as they’re walking home, trying to hold him upright. It was a bit of a challenge, especially since they were both wearing huge winter coats that didn’t allow a lot of close touching.

 

“How much fun was that, huh?” Louis says with a big smile plasterd on his face. Liam laughs a little and nods. “I’m so glad you made up with Harry. Gives much better flow in the group, you know.”

 

“Yeah,” Liam sighs. “I know.”

 

“How much longer do we have?”

 

“We’re almost there. Just a few more houses,” Liam says and gives Louis a reassuring squeeze. They are both staying at Louis’ tonight, because his mum doesn’t care as much when they come home late as Liam’s does.

 

“It feels like we’ve been walking for an hour, Liiii!” Louis complains but bravely keeps putting one foot in front of the other.

 

“Well, we have almost. You’re not the fastest right now.”

 

Louis just frowns and gives his best attempt at walking steadily and fast. It doesn’t really work given his drunk state and also the falling snow and the intense coldness are freezing every movement; even Liam’s, who hasn’t been drinking much.

 

“Did you see Zayn?” Louis suddenly asks and Liam nods. He’s not sure what the point of the question is. He’s never really talked to Harry or Louis about that boy again; not since he’s made his peace with him. It wasn’t an awkward situation anymore when he showed up; enough time has passed now. But there were still some glares when their group saw Zayn’s group somewhere out at night.

 

“I hadn't even noticed him coming in until I noticed that Perrie had been missing for an hour and found her eventually with him and his friends,” Louis says and laughs. “They really get along, huh?”

 

“Seems that way,” Liam says. “From the moment he came in, she was by his side.”

 

“You must have been a good matchmaker then,” Liam says and wiggles his eyebrows at Liam.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“They’ve been close ever since you three put on that little play of yours. Did you nudge them in the right direction or what?”

 

Liam laughs loudly now and Louis tries to twist his way out of Liam’s grip.

 

“You have too much imagination,” Liam says. “And stop trying to run away, I’m not gonna chase after you!”

 

Naturally Louis sees this as a challenge and as soon as he’s out of Liam’s arms, he races towards his house. “Catch me!”

 

Liam tries to get a hold of Louis’ coat and when he manages to escape he just rolls his eyes. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

 

“Come on, Li!” Louis yells from his spot. He got two houses ahead until he couldn’t keep his balance anymore and almost fell. “Don’t be a bore.” 

 

He spreads his arms out, hinting at Liam to catch him. “I’m right here.”

 

Liam can't help but smile and then starts running the remaining distance towards his boyfriend. Louis’ reflexes are off, so before he can get away again Liam bumps into him and lifts him off the ground.

 

Louis squeaks when Liam wraps his arms around him and then they both start laughing uncontrollably.

 

“We have to be quiet,” Liam tries to say. “It’s late!”

 

But neither of them really manages to keep it down so they eventually press their lips together to mute themselves. Liam holds Louis tight for many reasons. One, he needs to steady him. Two, he needs to keep him from running away again. Three, they’re cold and it’s nice to feel each other’s warmth. Four, he loves Louis more than anything in the world.

 

“Come on, let’s go inside. I wanna crawl under the blankets with you,” Liam says after a few minutes, grinning against Louis’ mouth.

 

“Okay,” Louis whispers and smiles back. They stare in each other’s eyes for a few more seconds, then Louis drags Liam towards his house.

 

Once they’ve reached Louis’ room in silence, shimmied out of their many layers of clothing and used the bathroom, they meet in Louis’ bed and press their bodies together. They pull the blanket all the way up and kiss for a bit.

 

“Li?” Louis says suddenly, almost inaudible. 

 

“What is it?”

 

“I’m – I’m tired…”

 

“It’s okay, Lou,” Liam says back and presses a soft kiss against Louis forehead. He can see that Louis’ eyes are closed and that he’s probably used up his last energy to get home and go to bed. Louis sighs contently, turns around so his back is against Liam’s front and curls up into a small ball. 

 

It’s actually really adorable how Mr. Big Personality Louis Tomlinson runs around all day like a fully charged battery but then at night he turns into a tired, exhausted little boy who just needs a cuddle, Liam thinks.

 

“Thank you for being with me tonight,” Louis murmurs half asleep and presses himself closer to his boyfriend.

 

Liam smiles to himself and brushes Louis’ hair. “Just go to sleep, Lou. I got you.”

 

He wraps his arms around Louis’ small frame and nuzzles his own face into Louis’ hair.

 

“I got you.”


	4. Chapter 4

It’s the last day of school and two more days until Christmas, when Liam is sat on the stairs in the lobby of his school. It’s afternoon and the hallways are empty. He’s waiting for Niall, who he’s promised to help pick up Harry’s Christmas gift. Liam doesn’t know what exactly that gift is but apparently it’s big enough for Niall to need help carrying it. 

 

He patiently  wai ts on the steps with his hands folded together when he hears somebody approach him from behind. He shuffles to the side to make room for whoever’s coming down. 

 

“Liam?”

 

He turns around and tilts his head back to see the person’s face.

 

“Zayn!” He exclaims surprised. Zayn walks down the rest of the stairs and positions himself in front of Liam. 

  
“What are you still doing here?” 

 

“I’m just waiting for Niall. My classes ended earlier, and I just came back to meet him here,” Liam explains. He hasn’t seen Zayn in weeks, outside of the occasional run-in at school or at a bar. It feels a little weird talking to him again but at the same time the past appears to be much further away than it actually is, so Liam just puts on a weak smile. “How have you been?”

 

“Good, good,” Zayn says and nods. “Lot of coursework but ready for the break now.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Liam laughs half-heartedly. He stares at Zayn’s pretty face and without wanting to, he first pictures Louis kissing it, then Harry kissing it. 

 

“What about you?” Zayn asks and brings Liam back to reality. 

 

“I’m fine, thanks,” Liam says quickly. Zayn nods politely and then starts turning around. Before he can mumble his goodbye, Liam jumps up to his feet.

  
“Wait,” he says. “Can I ask you something?” 

 

It suddenly occurred to Liam that this might be a rare chance to talk to Zayn about Harry. If Harry was still confused whether he wants badboy Zayn or angel Niall, Liam might be able to feel things out for him a bit, he thinks. Or was that a bad idea?

 

“Sure,” Zayn says a little confused and holds onto the straps of his backpack. “What is it?”

 

“What’s the deal with… you and Perrie lately?” Liam stammers since he can't come up with anything better and he doesn’t want to give away Harry necessarily. “If you don’t mind me asking. I’m sorry; I’m not trying to be rude. Just curious, after our rehearsals and stuff.”

 

Zayn lets out a light laugh. “It’s fine. I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about that but I wasn’t sure how to approach you.”

 

“Me?” Liam wonders and frowns. “How so?”

 

“You know… Right now I’m sure everyone can see that she’s… quite attached, yeah?” Zayn says and Liam can't help but laugh. She was quite attached indeed. “But I wasn’t sure if I was just imagining that when we were rehearsing or not. And you were there, you know. The only one who might have noticed it too.”

 

Liam nods. “Well I wasn’t necessarily aware of it and wrote it off as her being friendly. But she sure seemed interested and had you not kissed boys before, I would’ve definitely assumed that she was flirting.”

 

Zayn lets out a sigh that Liam thinks seems a lot like relief. “Alright, so it wasn’t all in my head?”

 

Liam shakes his head. “I don’t think so. She truly seems interested. Why, are you thinking about giving it a shot?” 

 

Zayn shrugs. “I don’t know. I haven't thought about it really.”

 

“So you’re… into girls now?” Liam asks and then adds quickly: “If you don’t mind me asking.” It seems a bit weird discussing Zayn’s love life with him, given the fact that they have no history or connection together outside of mutual dislike so far. 

 

“I think she’s well attractive, yeah. But I also still think Harry’s still attractive, so I guess it doesn’t really matter?” Zayn says and once he realizes what he's just said, he widens his eyes in shock. “Shit, sorry. Bad example. I mean I still find blokes attractive too, not just Harry. I’m not really thinking about it, it’s just what it is, yeah?” 

 

Liam takes all that in and makes a mental note to discuss with Louis whether he should tell Harry that Zayn still finds him attractive or not. It could mess up things further for Harry or clear them up, depending on what he was  feeling.

 

“No need to apologize, mate. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot,” Liam says and feels a bit bad. He is pretty much invading Zayn’s personal life right now with all his questions and he doesn’t mean to be disrespectful. 

 

“Hey,” a third voice suddenly appears and then Liam sees Niall walking up to them. “What are we talking about?” 

 

Zayn actively doesn’t make eye contact and Liam tries to hold in a big sigh. Of course Niall would walk right in when he’s talking to Zayn. “Hey Nialler.”

 

Niall raises an eyebrow and looks back and forth between Liam and Zayn.

 

“I-I better get going,” Zayn says after a moment. “Thanks again, Liam.” He dares to look at him for a second before he turns around and disappears. 

 

“I had no idea you were friends with Zayn,” Niall says and faces Liam. “I have to say, I’m a bit surprised.” 

 

“Don’t be daft, we’re not friends,” Liam sighs and points towards the door. “Come on, let’s get going.”

 

They push open the doors and start making their way to wherever it is that Niall is taking them. Immediately the cold December air makes them shiver. 

 

“So you guys were just chatting?” Niall asks after a while. Obviously this was bugging him, and Liam can't really blame him either. Zayn was the one who hit his boyfriend a couple of months back after all. Naturally Niall was curious why Liam was talking to him.

 

“Yeah, just chatting,” Liam says. “He came down the stairs and it was awkward not to say anything. I asked about Perrie and it turns out he’s quite attracted to her actually.” Liam hopes that this piece of information helps Niall relax. Maybe with Zayn being all over Perrie, Niall doesn’t feel threatened anymore and would let it go.

 

“Are you serious?”

  
“Yeah, ‘s what he said.”

 

“And here I thought her pining was unrequited,” Niall laughs and shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. “This Zayn character keeps surprising me. Unbelievable.” 

 

Liam almost wants to say ‘he’s not as bad as you think’ but Niall might be the wrong person to play Zayn’s advocate for. Also, when did he start defending Zayn? He was and still is on Harry’s side after all. Or Niall’s side, actually. 

 

He lifts his arm and puts it around Niall’s shoulder. “You’re a good guy, you know that?”

 

“What?”

 

“You know. Just in general.”

 

“Thanks…,” Niall murmurs and gives Liam a confused look. Then the confusion turns into a smile and he decides to accept Liam’s compliment without further questions. “Is this the last time I’m gonna see you for a while now?” 

 

Liam frowns. “Because of the break?”

 

Niall nods but Liam shakes his head. “No, Niall. It’s just gonna be a few days until New Year’s. Perrie is having her big party, remember? We’re all going.”

 

Niall widens his eyes. “Right, I almost forgot.” He pauses for a second and then says: “Wait, does that mean she’s gonna invite her loverboy now?”

 

Liam laughs a little but quickly turns serious when he notices Niall has stopped walking. He turns around and looks at him. “She was probably gonna invite him anyway. He is in our year after all.”

 

“Great,” Niall scoffs. “I really don’t need another drama between him and Harry. Especially not on New Year’s Eve.”

  
“What are you talking about? They’ve crossed paths several times since that night and it’s been fine,” Liam says and walks back to grab Niall by his shoulders. “Stop worrying.” 

 

Niall just stares at the sky and reluctantly starts walking again. “I hope you’re right with that troublemaker.” 

 

“Stop stirring the pot. If anything happens, it’s because you’re instigating, Niall,” Liam warns him and lightly nudges him with his elbow.

 

“I’m not instigating. I just feel so helpless and I don’t want to watch another train wreck happen,” Niall explains with a certain sadness in his voice.

 

“You weren’t even there the last time, so don’t blame yourself.”

 

“Yeah, because you all lied to me!” Niall says, but he doesn’t sound angry with Liam. “I get it, you’re Harry’s friend. I’m not cross with you. But I was cross with him.”

 

“He said you weren’t cross with him either?”

 

“Well, obviously I cared about him being alright after he was released from the hospital. But we weren’t talking for two weeks,” Niall says very matter-of-fact. He sighs and his breath becomes visible in the cold air.

 

“Are your serious, Niall?” Liam says and now it’s him that stops walking. Niall turns around and frowns. 

 

“You weren’t talking for two weeks? He told me you were taking care of him, whenever I offered to come by and assist him with his injury,” Liam says and he can see his own look of perplexity mirrored in Niall’s face. 

 

“I’m sorry to tell you that, but he was lying to you. I was incredibly mad at him. We’d just been dating for a couple of weeks and he couldn’t even tell me that he was going out?” Niall says in a manner that Liam’s never seen on Niall before. It was a mixture of annoyance, anger and disappointment. “Of course I wasn’t ok with that. Ugh, that whole night is just such a nightmare for me and it doesn’t seem to ever stop.”

 

Liam takes a second to process what Niall’s just said. Perfect, so there was another of Harry’s lies. And Niall was beating himself up for not having been there so he holds a grudge against Zayn when his anger should instead be directed towards his own boyfriend. Not that Zayn was right punching Harry, of course not. But it was Harry’s mess that’s underneath it all. The punch is just the tip of the iceberg. Harry’s insane web of lies is what’s causing all these problems and they just keep coming up. Even now, months later.

 

“I’m sorry that Harry lied to you,” Niall says eventually and pulls his eyebrows together. “That doesn’t seem like him.”

 

Liam almost chokes on Niall’s words. Sure, lying doesn’t seem like Harry. The truth about it all sits on Liam’s tongue, he can feel it. Niall just looks at him, not having any clue about all the things he doesn’t know. Should he tell him? Could he tell him? It’s not his place, really. But he’s so fed up with this whole shitty situation that’s been going on for months now. 

 

Harry’s your friend, you promised, Liam thinks. You promised not to say anything. Harry probably kept his silence with Niall from you because he was embarrassed. That’s understandable, Liam reasons. But there was a new thought that was coming to Liam as he was staring into Niall’s eyes. When Harry eventually tells Niall… He’ll know. He’ll remember this conversation with Liam and how Liam has known this whole time and never said a word. Played with Niall just like Harry has. 

 

Yes, Harry is his friend. But so is Niall. If tables were turned, he’d tell Harry about Niall. He wouldn’t let Harry be lied to and he certainly wouldn’t lie to him himself. So why does he let Niall be lied to? Why does he lie to Niall himself? 

 

Niall has started to walk again and caught up with Liam, making his way to pick up Harry’s gift. 

 

“Niall, wait,” Liam almost yells. “There’s, um, something you should know about that night.” 

 

* * *

 

The 24 th of December rolls around faster than expected and Liam finds himself incredibly nervous. He’s in his room and has spend all day preparing for Louis’ birthday night.

 

Louis is supposed to show up at 6pm, because Liam thought that would give him all day to celebrate with his family and have people drop by to congratulate him. Louis’ mum wasn’t overly happy to let her firstborn go on the night of his birthday but she also didn’t want to stay in the way of Liam and Louis celebrating together. 

 

Liam has prepared a large pot of Louis’ favorite Yorkshire tea, tried to cook the best Italian pasta of his life and decorated his room with both Christmas ornaments and a Happy Birthday banner. He’s set up a small table with plates and cutlery and funny napkins in the middle of his room, which made it hard to walk around but he does not want to have a romantic birthday dinner downstairs around his parents. It’s not the ideal solution but it’s as good as it’s gonna get. Liam can't wait to move out next year.

 

“Ok, this looks good,” he mumbles to himself as he lights the last candle. His room doesn’t even resemble his own room anymore. It looks like a weird mixture between Christmas, a birthday party and teenage boy. But it’s too late now to change plans so Liam simply hopes that Louis will like it. 

 

All of a sudden he hears his phone buzz. As he checks it he sees it’s a text from Louis.

 

_I’m here. Open up? Don’t wanna alert the Paynes ;)_

 

Liam lets out a small laugh and runs downstairs. He almost falls down the stairs and swears he can hear Ruth let out an annoyed sigh from her room at his stomping. He stops at the front door and takes a deep breath. When he opens the door, Louis is standing there with a huge smile.

 

“Hey,” Liam grins.

 

“Hi babe.” Louis walks inside and presses a light kiss on his lips. Liam instantly feels calm and … horny. 

 

“Come upstairs,” he says as he closes the door and grabs Louis’ hand to lead him to his room. Once they’re inside and Louis puts down his backpack, Liam pulls him in for a huge hug. 

 

“Now one more time in person. For real,” Liam says and presses their foreheads together. “Happy, happy, happy birthday, Lou. I’m so glad I met you and that you held my hand and that you like me too and-“

 

Louis’ little laugh interrupts him and Louis says: “Of course I like you too. Even more than that, don’t be silly.”

 

They both smile at each other and get even closer to kiss. 

 

“What’s all this?” Louis asks when they break and points at various things in the room. “I feel like we’re celebrating five things at once.” He laughs and Liam looks a bit unhappy, but he knows Louis is just joking.

 

“We kind of are,” Liam says. “We’re celebrating you because it’s your birthday obviously. And we’re celebrating Christmas because it’s my favorite holiday. And we’re celebrating us because this is a date and I was trying to make it… you know, romantic.”

 

Louis looks at him with big eyes and a grin on his face, but he doesn’t say anything. Liam feels compelled to keep talking.

  
“I don’t really think I’m any good at being a boyfriend,” Liam says and gestures around. “I’ve never really been one but I tried my best.”

 

“Stop,” Louis says and looks like he’s about to cry. “You’re breaking my heart here. This is the most perfect thing anyone has ever done for me.” He takes both of Liam’s hands and gives him multiple small kisses. “I’m being serious. You care so incredibly much and I love it. All of this. You are an excellent boyfriend. Don’t ever doubt that.”

 

Liam lets out a shy smile and he’s very happy that Louis likes his effort. They share one more passionate kiss before Liam leads Louis to the table and helps him sit down.

 

“You’re such a gentleman,” Louis laughs and takes his seat. “Who would have thought?”

Liam’s a bit proud of himself and proceeds to dish out the pasta he’s kept warm in a pot. Louis hums at the sight of the food and claps. 

 

“I hope you like it. I’m not a good chef but I wanted to do more than just take-out,” Liam explains and sits down opposite of Louis. 

 

“This time of the year is horrible to get food poisoning, you know?” Louis says and grabs his fork. 

 

Liam laughs and kicks him half-heartedly under the table. “Well thank god this excellent meal will make you feel great then.”

 

Louis’ grin is still plastered to his face. Actually, they both haven't stopped grinning since Liam opened the door downstairs but he doesn’t even mind. 

 

“Let’s eat!” Liam says and for the next 30 minutes they’re both busy eating and laughing. Louis thankfully loves the pasta and keeps asking for more and part of Liam is worried that they’ll fall asleep right after from eating too much. Louis tells him hilarious stories from his family today and Liam is very content listening and laughing until he can’t breathe anymore. Sometimes, in between stories, they both just smile at each other until Louis drapes a noodle over his face or lets out an animal sound. It’s ridiculous how happy they are but Liam loves every second of this.

 

They quietly manage to put the dishes in the kitchen once they’ve finished, so they have more space in Liam’s room and it doesn’t smell like food. Louis is sat on Liam’s bed, already changed into more comfortable joggers and a shirt that Liam could swear is his. Liam walks in with two mugs and a pot of hot tea.

 

“For the birthday boy,” he says and hands one mug over. Louis takes it happily. As soon as Liam sits down on the bed, Louis shuffles over and cuddles up to him. 

 

“I haven't even stretched out yet,” Liam jokingly complains, with Louis’ limbs all over him.

 

“I don’t care,” Louis muffles and buries his face in Liam’s shoulder. “I’m comfortable.”

 

Liam laughs but he’s too pleased to move. If Louis is happy, that’s good enough for him. He puts his arm around Louis’ small body and rubs him gently. “You want your present?” 

 

Louis suddenly jumps up and grins in excitement. “Presents? Yes!” He drums on Liam’s leg and then makes grabby hands.

 

“Alright, let me get it,” Liam says and leans over to open a drawer in his nightstand. “There you go.”

 

He hands over a light blue envelope. He’s carefully written “Louis” in his best handwriting on it, even though it still looks like a five-year old has scribbled the name on there.

 

“That’s me!” Louis gleefully says and starts ripping up the paper. If he’s disappointed at the size of his present, he’s not showing it. 

 

Louis pulls out a card and two pieces of paper fall out. He carefully reads what Liam’s written inside and then examines the papers.

 

“Tickets!” he exclaims and looks back and forth from the tickets and Liam. “Football tickets!”

 

Liam nods. “I’m not an expert or a big fan but I know you are and I was hoping we could go see a game together maybe. If you want to bring me.” 

 

Louis jumps all over Liam and spreads his arms out over him. “Of course!” He laughs in Liam’s face and starts kissing him. “Of course, of course, of course.” 

 

They roll around on the bed and Liam makes sure that they don’t crumple the card or the tickets.

 

“Thank you so much, Li,” Louis finally says and sits back next to Liam. “I can't believe you bought those. They’re quite expensive.”

 

“It’s your birthday,” Liam shrugs. 

 

Louis gives him another smile and grabs his hand. “I love that you got me those. That you even thought of that… You’re top notch.” 

 

“Actually…” Liam begins and softly lets his thumb slide over Louis’ hand. “There is one last thing I have for you.” 

 

“More?” Louis asks and all the excitement is back in his face. Liam nods and pulls Louis closer to him. Louis rests his head on Liam’s chest.

 

“This one you can’t really take home with you. But it’s still a little something for you,” Liam explains.

 

“Go on,” Louis whispers and looks at Liam with big eyes. Liam can feel how his heart all of a sudden starts beating like crazy. Having Louis here feels incredible but what he’s about to do makes him really nervous. 

 

“So, we’ve been dating for a while now,” Liam says and Louis simply nods. “And I just- I just want you to know how perfect these past few months have been for me.”

 

“Li-,“ Louis begins but Liam shakes his head.

  
“Let me finish. It’s all part of your gift.” 

 

Louis snaps his mouth shut and Liam knows how much self-control that must cost him. He leans down to give him a kiss. 

 

“Last summer I had no idea who I really was or what I wanted. I didn’t even know what I was missing in my life until I met you,” Liam says, trying not to look at Louis. He’s carefully thought of what he wants to say and Louis’ blue eyes definitely distract him from all of that. “Now I know how happy I can be and how much better every day can be when you’re with the right person. I wake up every day and I’m excited that I get to talk to you and do things with you. And none of this has died down. If anything, it’s only grown more and more.” 

 

Liam’s eyes wander back to Louis but Louis looks down and can’t hold Liam’s gaze anymore. His eyes have gotten all watery and Liam realizes how sappy he’s gotten. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to make you feel uncomfortable…” 

 

Louis just presses his eyes shut and shakes his head softly. 

 

“I just want you to know how much you mean to me, Lou. I’ll always be here for you. As long as you let me, I’ll be yours,” Liam concludes. “I’m not really great with words but… I’ve written something for you that I hope explains everything to you.”

 

He shifts gently to get up and Louis sits back against the wall with a sniffle. Liam reaches under his bed and pulls out a guitar.

 

“What-“ Louis knits his eyebrows together. 

 

“Niall’s taught me a few chords, so don’t judge me,” Liam laughs and wraps the guitar strap over his shoulder. He places himself in front of the bed, facing Louis. Right now, his heart is racing uncontrollably fast and Liam’s so scared he’s gonna mess this up. But Louis looks at him expectantly, with tears lingering in his eyes, so he has no choice but to try.

 

“This is for you, Lou,” Liam says and begins to play. It’s quiet enough not to wake the entire house but his family should know this song by now anyway. He’s been practicing a lot these past few weeks. 

 

Louis lets out a painful sigh when he hears the first few harmonies and pulls his knees all the way up, hugging them with his arms. 

 

And then Liam beings to sing: “ _You tell me that you’re sad and lost your way. You tell me that your tears are here to stay. But I know you’re only hiding and I just wanna see you_ .”

 

He closes his eyes and focuses on striking the right chords but most of all he wants Louis to know that he means every word he’s written. 

 

“ _You tell me that you’re hurt and you’re in pain. And I can see your head is held in shame, but I just wanna see you smile again, see you smile again. But don’t burn out. Even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you. And I’ll be here for you._ ”

 

He risks looking at Louis although it almost makes his voice break away. Louis is pouting with tiny tears rolling over his cheeks. Liam smiles at him before he starts his chorus.

 

“ _Oh, I will carry you over fire and water for your love. And I will hold you closer; hope your heart is strong enough. When the night is coming down on you, we will find a way through the dark.”_

 

He manages to get through the rest of the song but by the time he reaches the last chorus, he can barely focus on playing anymore. 

 

“ _We will find a way,_ ” he sings before hitting the last chord. “Through the dark.” 

 

For a moment they both just stare at each other; then Liam puts the guitar away and Louis meets him at the end of the bed. His eyes are small and his lip is trembling. Liam wraps his arms around Louis and presses kisses on his hair. Louis still doesn’t speak but he’s shaking in his arms and lets out a few sobs. 

 

Eventually he pulls out of the hug and wipes his face with his sleeves. He sniffles one last time before cupping Liam’s face in his hands and looking up at him. “I love you.” 

 

He pulls Liam’s face down and guides their lips together. It might be their emotions running high, but afterwards Liam swears this was their best kiss yet for days. Their tongues softly caress each other and their lips softly nudge the other’s mouth. Liam’s face feels hot from performing and now kissing Louis. Oh, and Louis’ profession. Did that happen? 

 

He presses one last kiss onto Louis’ lips and pulls back. He’s insanely happy that he didn’t mess up Louis’ song and that all his birthday planning worked out and… Louis said he loves him. He  _loves_ him. Tenderly he moves his hands on Louis’ hips.

 

“In case you didn’t get the message,” he says and grins. “I love you, too.” 

 

“And why did you say I can’t take this last present home with me?” Louis whispers and touches Liam’s cheek. “I’ll carry this with me everywhere I go.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you guys ready?” Liam pops his head back into his room. “I grabbed my jacket and the car keys. We can go now.” He expectantly looks at Louis and Harry, who are both sitting on his bed, holding beers in their hands. 

 

“Yeah let's go see if Perrie knows how to throw a New Year's Eve party!” Louis shouts and jumps to his feet. He's had plenty of beers already, so Liam's not surprised that he's having a little trouble standing upright. But it was New Year's Eve and Louis promised to behave, so Liam in turn promised to take care of him and get him home safely. Louis rushes over to Liam to kiss him on the cheek and then goes to put on his shoes. Harry has been rather quiet all night so far, which wasn't necessarily unusual for him but Liam had the nagging feeling, that Harry's silence had something to do with Niall's weekend trip. Liam hasn't seen either of them for a while now: Harry since their reconciliation two weeks ago and Niall since they went picking up Harry's Christmas gift, when Niall told him that Harry had lied to him – again. 

 

“Are you coming?” Liam steps in front of Harry and raises one eyebrow. 

 

“Yeah, I'm on my way,” he answers, drowns his beers and proceeds to get dressed. Liam can't help but have a confused look on his face. Something was very off with Harry today. 

 

Perrie's party is cute and large. There's a lot of people at her house, of course and Liam has never seen half of them. She neatly decorated the whole place and there's amazing food everywhere and bottles of champagne. 

 

Two minutes after they had entered, Harry already wandered off to greet some random people so when Louis offers to get drinks, Liam decides to grab a plate and load some food onto it. 

 

Perrie is nowhere to be seen but they had all night to say hi, and somewhere Liam suspects Zayn and Niall to be and some more classmates that he'd maybe talk to. Just as he's putting down the meatballs, he hears a familiar voice.

 

“Nice hat!” 

 

Liam turns around and sees Niall smiling at him. 

 

“Hey! Good to see you,” he says and they hug, not without Niall spilling some of his beer and Liam some of his salad. 

 

“Where did you get that from?” Niall asks and points at Liam's hat. It's entirely black, with a yellow Batman logo in the front. 

 

“Louis got it for me for Christmas,” Liam says and can't hide a little smile. He doesn't mention how Louis has also scribbled his own name plus a heart onto the tag of the hat, so Liam would always think of him when he wears it. 

 

“Sick!” 

 

“I know. How was your... um, getaway?” Liam asks cautiously. He's almost too scared to hear the answer. Harry has managed to avoid him every time he asked him, but Liam knew that Niall would give him an honest response.

 

Liam has wondered how romantic that trip could have been, given the fact that he hasn't told Niall the truth after all. Instead, he spun a story how Zayn had been drugged the night of the punching and Niall should cut him some slack. It was Liam's awful attempt at getting Niall off Zayn's back. But seriously, Zayn wasn't at fault here, Harry was. And if Harry wasn't gonna admit that to Niall, the least Liam could do was taking some pressure off of Zayn. Right?

 

“It was awesome. We had such great weather, it was so beautiful and romantic. I'm usually not the cheesy type but it was pretty cool. Didn't he tell you anything about it?”

 

Liam shakes his head. “No, not really. We haven't really spoken about it.”

 

“I see...,” Niall murmurs and chugs his beer. That's when Louis comes over and hands Liam his cup of soda. Since he's the designated driver he can't drink obviously.

 

“Thanks babe,” Liam says and hands over his plate. “Want some food?”

 

“Hey Niall, and yes, please!” Louis says and starts putting some potato chips in his mouth. Liam laughs at him.

 

“How was your Christmas? How was your birthday? I'm sorry I couldn't be around,” Niall says eventually and turns to Louis.

 

“It was great! I got to see all of my family and hang out with this one at night,” he says and wiggles his eyebrows at Liam. “Don't worry, it's not like I was having a party or anything.”

 

“So, who else is here?” Liam asks in an effort to bring himself back into the conversation. “We haven't even said hi to Perrie yet. Where is she?”

 

The three of them start looking around the living room where they are standing but none of the faces seem familiar, outside some random classmates. Liam's happy that Louis is here, otherwise he'd probably just have stayed at home.

 

“I have no clue. She was outside with Jesy and the girls a half hour ago, I think?” Niall says and shrugs. “Did you bring Harry?”

 

Liam nods and Louis says: “Yeah, he took off right away. You haven't seen him yet?” He side-eyes Liam suspiciously and continues to eat. Liam's happy that he's eating. Maybe that helps soaking up the alcohol so Louis is remotely sober at some point of the night.

 

“Oh right, _he_ 's here. I almost forgot,” Niall sighs and rolls his eyes. “I'll go look for Harry. See ya!”

 

Liam and Louis both turn around to see what Niall's talking about. Obviously, it's Zayn, who just walked in from outside.

 

“Do you wanna go say hi?” Louis asks and looks at Liam. He has a little bit of sauce in his face and Liam grinningly wipes it off. “Stop that.”

 

“Do you wanna go?”

 

Louis shrugs. “I don't care. But I'll come with you if you don't wanna go by yourself. He's been nice to you, right?”

 

“I guess,” Liam says and finishes off the plate, since Louis is done eating. “Are you okay with that?”

 

“Totally. We can be civil. No bad blood!” Louis says and takes a sip of his own drink. “Let's go.” He takes Liam's hand and walks with him over to where Zayn's standing. As soon as he notices them he excuses himself from the group he's talking to and comes over.

 

“Hey, what's up,” he says and awkwardly waves his hand at them.

 

“Hi Zayn,” Louis says and Liam sighs. Standing here with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's ex is still a little weird even though he's really come to be accepting of Zayn.

 

“Glad you guys came! Did you find the food and the drinks alright?” Zayn asks and goes back and forth between the two of them. Clearly he's helping Perrie out a bit as the host of this party.

 

“Yeah, everything's amazing. It's a cool party,” Liam says happily. “Where's the hostess?”

 

“She just went and got some more champagne. Should be back any minute,” Zayn explains and looks around. “How was your Christmas? And happy belated birthday. I'm sorry, I guess I could have texted you.” Zayn makes a grimace.

 

“Thank you, that's really nice,” Louis says with a smile. “Don't worry about it. Our Christmas was amazing. I just love the holidays,” he laughs. “Right?”

 

Liam agrees and nods. “It was really special. And no school - that's the best part of it!” They share a laugh and Liam relaxes.

 

“I'm really glad you guys came over,” Zayn says all of a sudden and looks at the both of them. Liam is fascinated by his all-encompassing smile and feels the warmth spreading in his body. It's new to see Zayn so genuinely happy and at ease. Liam immediately likes him more.

 

“Of course, why wouldn't we?” Liam says, as he sees a blonde rush to Zayn's side. Before he can realize that it's Perrie, she's already planted a kiss on his cheek and waved at Liam and Louis.

 

“You're here!” She yells and Liam can tell that this is not her first glass of champagne tonight. Or her fifth for that matter.

 

“Really cool party, Perrie! Thanks for the invite,” Louis says and puts on a genuine smile. Perrie giggles in excitement.

 

“Naturally! I hope you're having fun! Did you bring Haz? I wasn't sure if he wanted to come but I figured since everyone else is here...” She makes a grimace and throws an uncertain look into the general crowd.

 

“Yeah, he's here. I just... don't know where,” Liam says and already he's sick of constantly having to look for people in this place.

 

“I'm gonna go and entertain the other guests. Come find me later, we should do shots together!” Perrie squeals and adds a drunk “wohoo”. Then she kisses Zayn once more and runs off.

 

“So you guys are... a thing now?” Liam asks disbelievingly and wiggles his eyebrows at Zayn, once Perrie is gone. Surprisingly enough, Zayn seems to be as surprised and shocked about the kiss as Liam and Louis are. He blushes a little bit and avoids looking into their eyes and Louis chuckles.

 

“Hey, it's cool,” Louis laughs when he sees Zayn shifting uncomfortably. “We're happy for you.”

 

“It's very new,” Zayn mumbles and presses his lips together. Clearly, this was not something he wanted to talk about yet.

 

“Good for you mate, good for you!” Louis says and pats Zayn on the shoulder. He's even more amused by Zayn's blushing than Liam and keeps suppressing a laugh.

 

“I'm gonna go see what she's doing, yeah?” Zayn says eventually and turns to leave. “I'll see you later!” Liam and Louis just nod and watch him disappear into the crowd.

 

“That was unexpected,” Louis says and faces Liam. “But I guess I'm glad he found someone?” He raises his arm to touch Liam's cheek carefully. “Just like I have.” Liam can't help but smile. Eventually, Louis pulls away and snaps out of his sappy mood. “He never complained about me not having a vagina when we were having sex...”

 

Liam rolls his eyes. “That's not something I need to know. Also, that's a stupid a thing to say.”

 

“Have we met?” Louis laughs and drinks eagerly.

 

All of a sudden, Harry comes up to them out of nowhere. He somewhat hides behind Louis, looks around suspiciously and then comes really close.

 

“Why are we huddling together?” Liam says, confused.

 

“You're being weird, Styles.”

  
“Did Zayn just make out with Perrie?” Harry says without any explanation and looks ridiculously panicked. “Did I see that right?”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Liam laughs. “And no, you did not. She gave him a peck on the cheek, it's not a big deal.”

 

“It totally is.”

 

“You kiss my boyfriend on the cheek all the time,” Louis says in a very matter-of-fact way and eyes Harry. Liam knows that Louis doesn't mind but it's funny to wind Harry up a bit. Louis throws Liam a grin when he sees Harry's overly offended face.

 

“I don't, not anymore,” Harry says and gasps at Louis. “Me and your boyfriend have been going through a very rough patch lately, as you well know. There has been no kissing, no pecking on the cheek whatsoever.”

 

“I'm glad we can talk about this freely already, and yes, I've forgiven you for everything so can we please focus on your problem here. What's the big deal? You can't possibly be jealous,” Liam says, trying to shift the focus back on Harry's weird behavior.

 

“Also,” Louis begins and narrows his eyes. “Where is you boyfriend? The blond one, I mean. Just in case I have to clarify.”

 

Liam tries not to chuckle at that dig and Harry just shakes his head.

 

“You two together are insufferable. I need to talk to him alone right now,” Harry says and points at Liam. “Go and be somewhere else, Tomlinson.”

 

Louis just snorts, leans over to get a kiss from Liam and heads over to some other people he knows. Liam knows that Harry's harsh behavior doesn't irritate Louis in the slightest, so instead of reprimanding Harry he simply says: “Let's go outside and do therapy.”

 

Harry nods and follows Liam through the big glass door that leads outside onto an inviting terrace, with a giant garden right after it. There's a few people out here, mostly smokers, but it's a big enough space so nobody would listen in on their conversation. When they step outside and get comfortable on one of the wooden benches out on the grass, Liam spots Zayn out of the corner of his eyes. He nods shortly and is glad that Harry hasn't seen him.

 

“So, you wanna tell me how your weekend with Niall really was?” Liam says once they sat down, sort of facing each other.

 

“Oh, cut to the chase Liam, will you,” Harry snorts and lights a cigarette.

 

“You've been nice tonight, I gotta say that. But that's the first time in a long time,” Liam says and looks Harry in the eye. He wants to make sure that he understands every word.

 

“I'm just a mess. I'm glad you and me worked it out but nothing else has stability right now. I'm sorry for all the stabs I've taken at you,” Harry says and frowns. The alcohol he's consumed so far seems to have loosened him up a bit. Harry seems free and vibrant – not as closed off and in denial as he has for the past few weeks.

 

“I know that you're unhappy with Niall,” Liam says into the silence and immediately catches Harry's attention. Harry looks around to check if anyone might have heard something, but they're too far away from the next group of people. “You can stop the gasping. Don't act like I said something outrageous. I know you, I can see it in your stupid face.”

 

Harry looks like he wants to gasp another time but Liam just rolls his eyes. “Seriously, Haz? Be real with me for a second. I need you to stop projecting your unhappiness onto me. I know it bothers you and I know that I'm the only one who knows the whole truth about all of this. It's driving you crazy, isn't it?” He tilts his head a little bit to observe Harry. Instead of saying something, Harry just nods slowly.

 

“The reason why you were so cross with me, maybe still are, is because you know that I know. And you think I'm judging you,” Liam says and puts his hand on Harry's knee. “I'm not judging you. I'm your best mate. I'm not mad at you because you kissed Zayn or because you're unsure of your feelings towards him and Niall. I'm mad because you're dragging Niall along. It's alright to be confused, I've told you that before. But you can't play and hurt other people in the process.”

 

Harry silently stares at the ground and lets his cigarette burn away. “You're not that far off,” he eventually murmurs and sighs. Liam smiles at him sadly and keeps patting his leg.

 

“Look, here's my last offer: I'll help you with... whatever's on your mind. I'll help you through that whole mess with Zayn and Niall, no matter what you're gonna decide you want to do. That's what mates are for, right? And I won't judge. I don't care how you're gonna proceed, you can count on me. But I'm not gonna sit here watching you pretend everything's okay when it's not, and that you're happy with Niall and that you're not bothered by Zayn and Perrie. I'll figure it all out with you, if you want me to. But all of this,” Liam waves his hands around and puts on his most confused face. “Has to stop. I can't do it anymore. Think about it, Haz. Sleep over it. And let me know.”

 

Harry finally looks up to him again, teary-eyed. He nods and presses his lips tightly together. “I hate you so much right now,” he whispers and rubs his eyes. “But thank you.”

 

Liam nods and smiles a little. Harry suddenly leans over and puts a soft little kiss on his cheek. “There you go. I heard you've missed those.”

 

That's when they both start laughing and Liam grabs Harry's curls to mess with them. They lean into each other and Liam loves the sudden feeling of closeness they've been lacking for so long now. It's a new level of completeness for Liam. Before he had Louis, Harry had always been there to cuddle him and hold his hand – literally and figuratively – but the moment he gained Louis, he lost Harry. Maybe now he can have both of them. A boyfriend and a best friend, to complete him and have him give them all the love he holds in his big heart.

 

“Ask me about the trip again,” Harry says once they've let go of each other and resumed drinking. Harry's even put his serious face back on.

 

“How was your trip?”

 

“It was good,” Harry says simply and takes another sip of his drink.

 

Liam looks a bit confused “Okay..., I guess.”

 

“But...,” Harry sighs and pauses. Then he looks directly at Liam again. “It doesn't matter. I know, Zayn isn't available and that's probably for the best. But the idea of him is. Somewhere out there. And as much as I want it to be.... it's not Niall.”

 

Liam takes a deep breath and waits for Harry to continue, but he doesn't. Liam tries to understand what Harry's saying and he has to agree: Zayn might be the wrong answer for Harry, but the fact that Harry's intrigued by him and looking for something else that Niall can't give him speaks volumes. It's a sad realization but it's necessary. He still waits for Harry to continue speaking and when he sees that certain glimmer in his green eyes, that's when it hits Liam.

 

“You've already broken up with him, haven't you?” Liam whispers, barely audible. He's almost too scared to ask but Harry's slow nodding confirms what he's been thinking. “Oh, Harry...”

 

Liam can feel his own heart break a little. He leans over to hold Harry in his arms, not caring about the tears that land on his shirt now. Harry's sobbing starts quietly and every bystander probably thinks they're just having a friendly heart-to-heart. But Liam can feel Harry shaking and his tiny quivers and he can't stop from tearing up himself. He caresses Harry where his hands touch him and clings onto him with all the strength he has. “Why haven't you told me before, Haz? I would have been there for you. You know I would have.”

 

Harry nods and mumbles into Liam's chest: “Was something I had to go through alone.”

 

“No,” Liam says and pulls Harry up so he can look into his eyes again. “There's nothing you have to go through alone.” He uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears under Harry's eyes. For a while they just stare at each other. Harry, sad and defeated; Liam, sympathetic and understanding.

 

“We'll get through this. I promise,” Liam says and ruffles Harry's hair. “Do you wanna leave? Why did you even agree to come when you knew that Zayn and Niall would be here?”

 

“I've always been a masochist,” Harry says with a weak smile and wipes his nose on his sleeve to erase any evidence of what's just happened. “Can you get Louis? I wanna apologize, I've been a twat and he's so nice, and-”

 

“Haz,” Liam interrupts him and laughs. “Don't worry about it. Louis can take being put in his place every once in a while.”

 

“But that's why I came! You. And him. I just don't wanna be alone, Liam. I wanna hold onto something, literally. I hope he wants to be my friend, cause I could really need those right now,” Harry explains and Liam can't hide an amused look on his face.

 

“I'm sure he wants to be your friend, Haz. He is your friend, you don't have to ask him. We're not in kindergarten.”

 

“Sure feels like it most of the time,” Harry snorts and Liam can't help but agree.

 

“Just go and get him. You can tell him everything,” Harry says, no, he almost begs. Liam just nods and gets up.

 

“Well, this conversation has been a roller coaster ride from start to finish,” he laughs and even Harry's mouth resembles a bit of a smile. “I'll be right back.”

 

* * *

 

On their first day back in school in January, Liam meets just Harry in their cafeteria for lunch, since everybody else is already done with classes for this day. Even Louis decided to go home and get some of his chores done. Liam's always glad for some alone time with Harry now. After all their fighting over the last couple of months they've come full circle and reached a new, better stage of their friendship.

 

Liam's extremely happy to have _his_ Harry back – a best friend who wasn't Louis and who he could count on at all times. And Harry seemed to be just as happy. Ever since his breakup with Niall, Harry was more relaxed and at ease, even though he was more sad now, too. Trying to hear the end of Harry's story, Liam puts another spoonful of potatoes in his mouth and turns to his friend.

 

“So basically, I was just completely covered in paint, top to bottom!”

 

“That sounds horrible, Harry,” Liam laughs and tries not to have too many potatoes fall out of his mouth.

 

“No, no, I deserve it,” Harry gives back and males big gestures with his fork. “It's probably karma.”

 

“Karma for what?”

 

“For breaking up with Niall.”

 

Liam gives a warning look and puts his cutlery down. “That's rubbish. You didn't fall in paint because you ended a relationship. You fell in it cause you're a clumsy mess.”

 

“Am not,” Harry shrugs and then after a pause he adds: “Have you heard from Niall ever since the party?”

 

“No,” Liam shakes his head. “Have you?”

 

Harry shakes his head as well and reaches for his water bottle. “You should talk to him, if you want to.”

 

“I side with you. You're my best mate.”

 

“You don't have to choose sides, Liam. This is not a messy divorce,” Harry laughs and takes a big gulp. “I just want to make sure you're doing whatever you feel is right. Don't cut Niall from your life out of solidarity with me.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Liam nods. “I'll text him. I was wondering how he was doing, but I thought he probably wouldn't wanna talk to me, since I'm your friend and all.”

 

“He spoke to you at the party, right?” Harry asks. “So, do whatever you want. I just wanted to say that.”

 

Liam makes a mental note to shoot Niall a text this afternoon. After all, Harry was right. There was no need to stop being friends now and he really liked Niall. Maybe they could grab some food together some time.

 

“So what are you gonna do next?” Liam asks as they're both getting up to carry their trays away.

 

Liam's hung out with Harry a few time since New Year's Eve and each time Harry seemed to be a little bit happier. He wasn't devastated to be without Niall but he clearly wasn't happy either. A few times so far he's doubted his decision but Liam had managed to convince him that it was the right way. Getting back together with Niall seemed like a return to happiness, but Harry knew that he'd still not feel completely fulfilled. Liam did his best to hold Harry's hand and listen to his ramblings and doubts.

 

“Walk home?” Harry says and throws his garbage away. “What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, generally,” Liam explains and follows Harry out of the cafeteria. “Do you think you'll be dating somebody soon? Or are you happy right now? I personally still think you need to give yourself some time to get over Niall.”

 

“Liam, I know that. We've talked about this a billion times,” Harry sighs. “I'm in no rush. I'll figure it all out. First I have to figure out myself and what I want.”

 

“That could take a while,” Liam laughs and pushes against the doors to go outside. Harry gives him a look and walks through. As soon as they're outside, they bundle up in their jackets and scarves and hats. It's still freezing out, and they both have to walk home in the cold.

 

When they start walking, Liam continues: “I just want to make sure you're on the right path again. I don't wanna lose you a second time, so let me know what your weird brain is coming up with.”

 

“I will, I promise. It was a nightmare going through all this crap alone the first time around. I'm happy to have you now,” Harry smiles and Liam nods.

 

“Good. That's the way it should be.”

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” Harry asks after a while and bumps into Liam's side.

 

“Just sex, probably,” Liam shrugs mindlessly and hears Harry scoff next to him.

 

“I love how you're saying that,” Harry laughs. “ _Just sex._ ”

 

“What?”

 

“Like it's a chore.”

 

“It's not a chore,” Liam explains. “It's amazing, that's the point.... Can I tell you something?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“The thing is this,” Liam says. “I'm not sure what happened to Louis over Christmas, but he's constantly... horny.”

 

Harry lets out a laugh and almost falls into a pile of snow next to them.

 

“I don't know what it is,” Liam continues, not being irritated by Harry's outburst. “Maybe it's because he's stopped going to football practice, or maybe it's the song I wrote for him.”

 

“Maybe it's because he's in love with you.”

 

“He's probably at home right now, preparing for something new and crazy, as we speak,” Liam laughs and Harry elbows him in the side.

 

“Stop complaining, will you? You're awesome boyfriend can't get enough of you and you're whining?” Harry says and shakes his head. “I wish I could have sex again.”

 

“Hey, you're penis is locked away for the next few weeks until you've worked through your stuff,” Liam scolds him, although Harry just bursts into laughter.

 

“You can't just lock my penis away, Liam!”

 

“And also, I'm not complaining! I'm just saying! This is all so new to me and I feel a little overwhelmed,” he pouts. Harry can't stop grinning.

 

“I'm happy that he wants to do so much with you. And not just in the sack,” Harry snorts. “He seems like a really good boyfriend and I think he's expanding your horizons in all sorts of ways. And that's a good thing.”

 

“It's definitely a good thing. I just can't believe that he wants me... so much.”

 

Harry stops for a second and pulls Liam close.

 

“Listen, you little potato,” he says and puts both his hands on either side of Liam's head. “I've always told you that you have the world's biggest heart. Any guy that gets to have you is incredibly lucky. You better start believing that somebody _can_ want you this much. Don't always make yourself so small, Liam. You deserve all the love and sex in the world. And I'm glad you've found another potato to give it to you.”

 

Liam smiles happily at his friend but then he frowns like a little boy: “Lou's not a potato.”

 

Harry takes a big sigh and directs his green eyes at Liam.

 

“Yes. Yes he is.”

 

* * *

 

“Put your coat, we're going on an adventure!” Louis exclaims, as soon as he enters Liam's house later that day.

 

“Right now?” Liam asks a little confused. He's standing in the hallway in his comfy jogging bottoms and striped socks. Louis on the other hand looks like he's ready for a polar expedition. He's got a fluffy coat on, a scarf wrapped around his neck, his hands are covered by blue gloves and a woolen hat is sitting on the top of his head. Liam sighs and reaches for his winter gear, starting with his boots.

 

“Could you seem any less excited?” Louis wails and raises his eyebrows. “I've got something awesome planned.”

 

“I am excited, babe. I just thought we were gonna stay in and watch a movie and cuddle. It's freezing out,” Liam says as he's tying his shoe. Louis just stands next to him and watches, not being a big help.

 

“We do that everyday. It's time to mix things up a little, don't you reckon?” he says with determination. “You'll love it.”

 

“How was the rest of your day?” Liam asks when he's back up on his feet, putting on his winter coat. “Did you get all your chores done?”

 

Louis nods. “Pretty much. I was quick, because I wanted to come pick you up. Mum was very happy with me.”

 

Liam smiles and lets Louis help him with the scarf. He patiently waits while Louis almost strangles him but it's one of those couple-y things that he just wouldn't want to miss anymore. “Thanks.”

 

“Alright, ready to go?” Louis says and opens the door. “After you, mylady.”

 

Liam snorts but still walks through the door first. He grabs Louis' hand for the short little walk to the car that Louis has borrowed from his mum. Louis even opens the passenger door for Liam, which makes Liam laugh.

  
“What is this, a proper date?”

 

“Everything we do is a proper date in case you haven't noticed, Liam,” Louis gives back and hops into the drivers' seat.

 

“Is it far?”

 

Louis shakes his head and pulls out of the driveway. “No, it's not far. Just let it be a surprise, okay?”

 

“Fine, but you should have told me if this involves food, because I've just had lunch like an hour ago,” Liam confesses and sheepishly looks over to Louis.

 

“It does not involve food. Will you just stop the questions now, please?” Louis clarifies with a grin, eyes on the road.

 

“Oh, I spoke to Niall on the phone right before you got here,” Liam suddenly remembers. “I had texted him when I got home and he called me back.”

 

“That's nice. How's the Irish?”

 

“It was little awkward at first because I didn't really know what to say, being Harry's best friend and all...,” Liam says and looks out the window.

 

“I can only imagine. I know how badly you're doing with awkward,” Louis says and pats Liam's knee.

 

“Don't be mean. Once we addressed the elephant in the room – the breakup – it was fine. I feel like he was glad that he had someone to talk to about this. And then we talked about other stuff, just general things, you know?”

 

“I think it's nice that you reached out to him,” Louis says and turns quickly to look at Liam. “I can only imagine how he's feeling. I mean, Harry's seen this coming for a while but Niall must've been pretty surprised, right?”

 

Liam nods. “He was. I could literally hear how broken his heart is over the phone. I told him to hang out with me this week. I think he really needs a friend right now. Even if that's me.”

 

“You would be my first choice if I were him, but I guess he and Harry can be civil again at some point. Me and Zayn are. We're all still connected to each other,” Louis says without turning his head.

 

“Right. Nobody wants to punch Zayn anymore when he shows up, so I guess that's a good thing. I'm actually glad whenever I see him.”

 

“And he seems really really happy with Perrie. I'm glad that all worked out!”

 

“Me, too. Look at us, how mature we all are,” Liam laughs. “And Niall will be alright as well. Harry used to call him sunshine and I can't wait for him to glow again.”

 

 

“You're a good friend, Li. Nobody on the team is gonna talk to him about it. And as painful as it is, I think he should talk about it to get better,” Louis reckons, using one hand to express his feelings while the other one's on the steering wheel. “I don't ever wanna have to go through a breakup again. Heartache sucks.”

 

“Unless you're kidnapping me and burying me in the woods, you have nothing to be afraid of,” Liam replies, as they're making a sharp turn into the forest. “Where are we going?”

 

“You'll see,” Louis says with a devilish grin. The road's getting more and more bumpy now and it's getting even colder. After a few more minutes, Louis stops the car on the side of the road. They're in the middle of the woods and there's snow everywhere. The trees are mostly without any leaves, so the little sunlight that they have can reach the ground and make the scene a little less spooky.

 

Louis' already jumped out of the car, waiting for Liam to do the same. “Come on!”

 

Liam opens the door reluctantly and walks up to where Louis is standing. “What are we doing here?”

 

“I wanna show you something,” Louis says and comes close. “But first, warm me up with a kiss.”

 

Liam closes the gap between them and puts his mouth on Louis'. They embrace each other tightly, trying to share the little warmth they have between each other. “I'm freezing, Lou.”

 

Louis reaches for Liam's hand and drags him along without explanation. The cold ground drags out all the heat of their bodies, no matter how well-prepared they were. After a short while, they turn onto a little path that leads them right into the woods and away from the road.

  
“This is insane. I'm actually starting to believe you're going to kill me and conserve my body in this iciness,” Liam complains but obediently walks right behind Louis over sticks and stones. “Is this even still England?”

 

Louis just laughs keeps leading the way. “I'm not going to kill you, babe. Stop making me feel bad, I actually thought this would be a fun idea.”

 

“What would be?”

 

“This!” Louis exclaims and stops. Liam almost bumps into him but then looks up and looks where Louis is pointing. It's a lake in the middle of the forest. Naturally, it's completely frozen and partly covered in snow. They walk up to the lakefront and admire the view.

 

“That is in fact really beautiful,” Liam says, visible air coming out of his mouth. “It's kinda romantic.”

 

“That's what I was going for,” Louis grins. “Do you know what this is?”

  
“A lake?”

 

“Not just any lake,” Louis says and looks at Liam expectantly.

 

“You mean...,” Liam says as he's starting to get an idea where they are. Louis takes Liam's hand again and then he remembers last summer, when he's held Louis' hand for the first time. Right here at this lake. “Lou...”

 

“This is where it all started. And now I get to hold your hand without wondering if you like me, or if you like Harry or if you're even into boys,” Louis says and smiles. “I get to hold your hand because you're my boyfriend.”

 

“Right. And you even get to kiss me,” Liam says smug and pulls Louis close. Even though they've kissed thousands of times by now, it still feels different. Special. The fact that Louis brought him to this place and the fact that they've dated for so long now makes Liam all warm inside. “I don't even wanna spend another day without you, Louis Tomlinson.”

 

“Oh, be careful what you wish for,” Louis laughs and bites Liam's nose. “But seriously, I don't want any of my days to be without you either. I love you so much.”

 

“I love you, too,” Liam smiles and pulls back. They both face the frozen water now, holding hands and standing closely. “What do you think the future holds for us?”

 

“I have no idea. But we'll figure it out.”

 

“This summer it'll all be over,” Liam whispers. “School, I mean. Do you think you'll be staying here?”

 

“God, no! And you are neither,” Louis declares. “We're getting out of this town. You'll go wherever your passion brings you. And I'll follow.”

 

“I don't have a passion.”

 

Louis wrinkles his forhead. “Yes, you do. You're always on fire when you play the guitar and I know how happy it makes you to play the piano. Except from me, there's nothing else you're that passionate about.”

 

“That's not my... passion,” Liam mumbles. “Is it?”

 

“Yes, babe,” Louis nods. “That's exactly what your passion is: music. Have you never thought about going to college, doing something with music?”

 

Liam shakes his head. “I've never really thought about going to college, period.”

 

“Do you wanna stay in this godforsaken town and fix things for the rest of your life?” Louis asks and puts a tiny kiss on Liam's cheek. “You're much smarter than that. Dream bigger, Li.”

 

Liam stays silent for a bit and lets Louis' words of encouragement sink in. “Will you come, too?”

 

“Of course,” Louis smiles. “I'll go wherever you go. I can do anything. Maybe something with drama, I was thinking. Or literature?”

 

“As long as we're together,” Liam demands and puts his arm around Louis. “We'll figure it out.”

 

“That sounds like a plan,” Louis smiles and kisses Liam deeply.

 

“I love you, Lou.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

Liam's feet are numb from the cold, but he couldn't care less.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading & giving kudos. I really, really appreciate it. I hope you liked the story as much as I liked writing it! :)


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